It's a question which we've all come across at least once in our lives, and it divides opinion like the public's preferences on marmite.

I've met people who swear that men and women can never just be friends and if they're spending any time together something must be going on, And I've also met people who insist that every opposite sex friendship they have is purely platonic.

I've always been a proponent of the fact that that men and women can be friends and nothing more. However, the other day I was watching an American sitcom (which will remain nameless) with this as a topic, which concluded with a resounding: 'No, men and women can Never JUST be friends'.

Why is this belief so widespread? As a (slightly effeminate) liberal male, I have almost as many female friends as male, yet some of the ladies I know swear that 2 members of the opposite sex cannot be just friends (leading me to question what strange kind of pseudo-friendship/relationship/acquaintance-ship we have).

So, does being 'just friends' with someone mean that if you partake in the occasion flirt, then you're more than friends? Or does it mean that as long as you don't end up in bed with said friend, then it's all good?

The problem with this question is that the answer is entirely subjective - it seems to depend on ones level of jealousy, or rather, how jealous your significant other is.

The more jealous a person, the less they'll believe that opposite sex friendships are possible, whereas someone less jealous might think that most interactions with a friend, however flirtatious, are fine (perhaps except wild, uninhibited sex).

It seems to boil down to the potential for attraction between 2 people. If you're heterosexual and you're spending time with someone of the opposite sex, then there is the potential attraction could form, or already has.

It's this possibility which seems to lead those who are more jealous to conclude that men and women cannot be just friends.

As humans, we tend to gravitate towards those who are most like us, so it's natural that most people have more friends of the same sex than the opposite. So, if you intentionally strike up a friendship with someone of the opposing gender, could you already be attracted to that person…?

If you don't have any common denominators with a friend, i.e.

no mutual friends, no school/work connections etc, then chances are that one of you struck up the friendship with the potential in mind for 'more' (if it wasn't you, then it was your buddy…).

As a man, I'll admit that I have struck up friendships with women because I've found them attractive, out of curiosity of whether they will reciprocate. The funny thing is, the majority of these encounters have actually led to a real friendship, where the attraction (from my side anyway) has decreased down to none.

In fact, some of my closest friendships have come about this way - 2 people becoming very good buddies after getting to know each other as a result of an attraction; mutual or one-way. In these cases, if there had been no initial attraction, the friendship would never have existed.

On the other side, we all have those friendships which exist because of some form of mutual interest or activity.

These can have arisen from being classmates/workmates, through friends of friends, living in the same area etc.

In these circumstances, friendships don't necessarily come about through one person's intention of getting to know someone else better, rather, they just blossom because of the situation you both happen to be in.

Even with these initial relationships and blossoming friendships, the potential for attraction still exists. Again, it's this potential that makes a lot of people conclude that men and women can't just be friends.

With all of this being said, the chances are that in almost every opposite sex friendship, at least one person has thought about what it would be like to be more than just friends with the other. If you're a woman, the fleeting thought of what kind of partner your friend would make may have flashed through your mind, if you're a man, how your friend might look naked.

I'm not saying that every friendship is this way, all I'm saying is that there is a chance that one person in the friendship might've thought about the possibility for more. However, that's not to say that any fleeting momentary impulses will be acted upon, or that 2 people cannot be friends if such fleeting thoughts occur.

So, it seems that the 'men and women can't be just friends' belief has some merit, in that we as humans are social beings by nature and can't seem to help our innate drive to find a mate, or the thoughts that might flash through our minds.

However, I maintain that men and women CAN be just friends. Despite the potential presence of attraction, however small, this doesn't mean that friendship doesn't exist. Attraction and friendship are not mutually exclusive and one will not necessarily negate the other.

Whereas moments of attraction may be small or large, for the most part they will be fleeting in nature, and where attraction will rise and fall, friendship will remain.

So even though some friendships might come about through attraction or there may be momentary thoughts of 'what-if', men and women CAN be just friends, and these can be some of the most fulfilling friendships you've ever had.

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