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Me : Sir excuse me, I want to ask something if at all you don't mind.🙏

Peter: Alright ask, I don't mind.💁🏻‍♂️

Me : You live around here right?🤷🏼‍♂️

Peter: Yes, is there any problem?🙄

Me : No, I'm coming matero and I'm looking for someone who stays around here, he's my colleague and told me he lives here.😩

Peter : Give a description.

Me : His name is Patrick Mwansa, He's tall, dark in complexion and he's very slim.🧍🏻‍♂️

Peter: Wait, does he drive in a BMW X5 blue car?🚖

Me : Yes sir he does.✔️

Peter : He has twins a boy and girl?👦👩

Me : Yes sir I remember he once told me about having twins.✔️

Peter: Does he stammer when speaking?💁🏻‍♂️

Me: Oh my God sir you are right, yes he stammers when speaking.😱

Peter : I'm so sorry, I don't know him.🤦‍♂️

😂😂😂😂

1. I'm just imagining the kind of hunger that hooked the person that discovered coconut could be eaten *😂😂😂

2. My mum be like "I'm talking and you are quiet"

Me: but mummy.....

Mum: Keep quiet I'm talking and you are talking...🏃🏃

3. Girls that takes their

boyfriends out and give them

money... Where do you live? Please I need one😤😤😤

4. ATTENTION ATTENTION

Anyone who wants to leave the group should leave during day time, if you leave at night and get raped it's your problem o, don't come and blame us...😂😂

5. It pains me when am coming back from shop rite with bags and non of my Neighbors are outside to see me😩😩😂😂

6. Nigerian parents will say they are working because of children and yet they give us one meat and take two😏

7. be shouting smal body no be sickness, until they start sharing drinks in an event, and dey got to ur turn & give u bobo😂😂

8. If not for the love I have for

Nokia touch light how much is iPhone 11 that someone cannot buy😏😏🏃🏃

9. Bro if she opens her leg for u , close it At least surprise God for one day🙄🙄😁😂

10. eating suya with the person who bought it is stressful you will be asking de holy spirit when next to pick one😂😂

11. you came to kidnap me with benz and you expect me to shout for help are you OK??...Abeg shift small make i balance well🙄🙄😌😌

12. short girls are cute until it's time to say goodnight and she hug your leg😁😂😂

13. In this our hard economy, someone wants to buy a foreign dog of 500k* *If you give me that money, I'll stand at your door and bark for you...😂😂😂

14. Sister!!..if you have flat boobs, flat yansh, and even flat chest.....congr atulations, your three bedroom flat is now complete😜😜😂😂

15. Some naija guyz sha, If U don't have anything to say, just end the Chat with her .🙄🙄 Which one is "What is Ur favorite age?"😂😂😂😂😂

singing I believe I Can Fly " My sister, have

you Ever seen an Elephant Flying Before?🙆🙆😂😂😂

2. Women will always tell you that men can

chēat and tell līes, but they seem to førgeting

that "What a man can do, a woman can do

better"... Guys are you with me??😏😏😂😂😂

3. My friend førgot his apple laptop on the floor

in my room. My grandma thought it was a scale.

CONCLUSION: My grandma now weighs

250,500naira😂😂😂😂😏

4. She told me she was coming to

my place by 9pm, But

she came by 7 pm & caught me

with another

woman...How can I forgive her for

lyīng to me??😩😲😩😂😂

5. Last night I had a dream and I was kīssing my

neighbour's daughter but this morning she saw

me

and pretēnded like nothing happened

Girls can prētend ooh😒😂😁😂

6. Some people will come to the ATM,

see others on queue and still ask

"is it paying"?

No, we came to vote for Buhari Again.. Please

shift jøor!

😠😠😂😂

7. I don't no why people who Sits in front of

a commercial Bus always Feel as if they

Have made it in life

😐😂😂😂

8. I will be naming my daughter *'Pregnant''* so

when a guy meets her:

Guy: Hi, am *lucky*

Her: Hi, am *Pregnant.*

*case Cløsed*

😂😂😂😂😂

9. When you are not fasting you

can stay till afternoon without

feeling hūngry.

But when you are fasting, even Tv

remote will be looking like gala in

your eyes... Is that not wītchcraft??😂😂😂

10. My girlfriend just caūght my side chick n I in

bed, she went straight to the kitchen to boil hot

water .. Think she's getting us some tea

😊😁😂😂

11. De most patience customers in de world are

those buying Cøndøm. Dey will like, serve him

first i will wait

🙆😂😂😂😒

12. I never knew the power of w££d until I saw a

90years old man telling me he wants to be a

lawyer when he grows....😂😂😂😂😂

If u are interested in reading please follow me

 

 

Akpos : Son where were you today during school hours?  

SON : At school (robot slaps the Son and he immediately changes his mind) Okay I went to the movies! 

Akpos : Which one?  

SON : Harry Potter (robot slaps Son again!) Okay I was watching p*rn.  

Akpos : What? When I was your age I didn’t even know p*rn! (robot slaps Akpos)  

MUM : hahahahaha! After all he is your Son! (robot gives Mum a hot slap)

(Akpos fainted)🙄

                                                     2.

A Concerned mother warns her little boy, "dont look at naked women or youll turn to stone." Johnny loved his mother, and as such decided not to look at naked women. But one day johhny and his friend were walking along a beach, and saw a woman sunbathing naked. Johnny remembered what his mother said, and turned and ran away from the woman. his friend finally catches up to him and asks why he ran. Johnny told his friend what his mother said, and then added, "and it must be true, because when i saw that woman I felt myself going rock hard in my trousers.  Haha😂

                                                      3.

A second grade teacher was having trouble with one of her students. One day she asked Johnny what his problem was, and he replied, "I'm too smart for the second grade, my sister is in the third grade and I'm smarter than her too."

 

The teacher took him to the principal's office and explained the situation to him.

 

The principal told her that he would give Johnny a test, and if he failed to answer one question, he would go back to the second grade and be quiet.

 

The teacher and Johnny both agreed.

 

Principal: "What is 3 x 3?"

 

Johnny: "9."

 

Principal: "6 x 6?"

 

Johnny: "36."

 

So, it went on like this. The principal asked him every question a third grader should know. Finally, after about an hour, he told the teacher, "I see no reason why Johnny can't go to the third grade, he answered all of my questions right."

 

The teacher asked if she could ask him some questions. The principal and Johnny agreed.

 

Teacher: "What does a cow have 4 of that I only have 2 of?"

 

Johnny: "Legs."

 

Teacher: "What do you have in your pants that I don't have?" The principal gasped, but before he could stop him from answering, Johnny answered.

 

Johnny: "Pockets."

 

Teacher: "What does a dog do that a man steps into?"

 

Johnny: "Pants."

 

Teacher: What starts with F and ends with K and means a lot of excitement?"

 

Johnny: "Firetruck."

 

The principal breathed a big sigh of relief and said: "Put Johnny in the fifth grade, I got the last 4 questions wrong myself."🙄

Which of the jokes is the funniest? Oya don't kill the vibe start commenting!