comedy

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Gale2626
Medicinal Importance Of Potato Pills
~0.6 mins read
I normally bring posts like this on weekends but it's coming today for the importance and for those who may need it urgently.
 
Have u been throwing away POTATO peels.... Don't anymore. 
 
1. Soak them in cold water overnight and thereafter 
 
2. Add salt, a pinch of sugar and lemon juice. 
 
3. Then leave the mixture under hot sun for 6 hours for the water to evaporate. After the water has evaporated.
 
4. Wrap the peels in a black polythene bag and wait for 10 minutes before carefully throwing them in a dustbin coz I don't know what you are trying to prepare.
πŸ™ˆπŸ™ˆπŸ™ˆπŸ™ˆπŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ™„πŸ™„
I beg no vex, no be me get the post, find the original writer and give him/her a hot slap.
Copied!
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Gale2626
Let's Laugh Again It's The Weekend!
~0.7 mins read
Title: The new rooster

A farmer goes out and buys a new, young rooster.

As soon as he brings him home, the young rooster rushes and screws all 150 of the farmers hens.

The farmer is impressed.

At lunchtime, the young rooster again screws all 150 hens.

The farmer is not just impressed anymore, he is worried.

Next morning, not only is the rooster screwing the hens but he is screwing the turkeys, ducks, and even trying to screw the cows.

Later, the farmer looks out into the barnyard and finds the rooster stretched out, limp as a rag, his eyes closed, dead and vultures circling overhead.
The farmer runs out, looks down at the young roosters limp body and says: "You deserved it, you horny bastard!"

And the young rooster opens one eye, points up at the vultures with his wing, and says: β€œShhhh! They are about to land!"
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Gale2626
Aso Ebi For Queen Elizabeth's Funeral Is Out
~0.5 mins read
Notice! Notice! Notice!
Queen Elizabeth Ankara cloth for burial is out It’s just 100 pounds per yard Contact me urgently if u need. So in the spirit of commiserating with the departed queen of England, we the Nigeria family to the royal dynasty in england has set up an aso ebi committee headed by myself @Gale2626 for the cordination of selling of aso ebi. 
If you buy from other non family members such as Peter, Crisben, Andy and the rest you're on your own. Contact me directly for account details to start paying. Mind you, it is first come first serve no partiality.
Thanks.
Gale2626 on behalf of the Nigerian family.

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Gale2626
Let's Laugh Again. It's Good For The Body!
~1.2 mins read
A PLANE IS ON ITS WAY TO TORONTO , WHEN A BLONDE IN ECONOMY CLASS GETS UP AND MOVES TO THE FIRST CLASS SECTION AND SITS DOWN.

THE FLIGHT ATTENDANT WATCHES HER DO THIS AND ASKS TO SEE HER TICKET.

SHE THEN TELLS THE BLONDE THAT SHE PAID FOR ECONOMY CLASS AND THAT SHE WILL HAVE TO SIT IN THE BACK.

THE BLONDE REPLIES, "I'M BLONDE, I'M BEAUTIFUL, I'M GOING TO TORONTO AND I'M STAYING RIGHT HERE."

THE FLIGHT ATTENDANT GOES INTO THE COCKPIT AND TELLS THE PILOT AND THE CO-PILOT THAT THERE IS A BLONDE BIMBO SITTING IN FIRST CLASS, THAT BELONGS IN ECONOMY AND WON'T MOVE BACK TO HER SEAT.

THE CO-PILOT GOES BACK TO THE BLONDE AND TRIES TO EXPLAIN THAT BECAUSE SHE ONLY PAID FOR ECONOMY SHE WILL HAVE TO LEAVE AND RETURN TO HER SEAT.

THE BLONDE REPLIES, "I'M BLONDE, I'M BEAUTIFUL, I'M GOING TO TORONTO AND I'M STAYING RIGHT HERE."

THE CO-PILOT TELLS THE PILOT THAT HE PROBABLY SHOULD HAVE THE POLICE WAITING WHEN THEY LAND TO ARREST THIS BLONDE WOMAN WHO WON'T LISTEN TO REASON.

THE PILOT SAYS, "YOU SAY SHE IS A BLONDE? I'LL

HANDLE THIS, I'M MARRIED TO A BLONDE. I SPEAK BLONDE."

HE GOES BACK TO THE BLONDE AND WHISPERS IN HER EAR, AND SHE SAYS, "OH, I'M SORRY." AND GETS UP AND GOES BACK TO HER SEAT IN ECONOMY.

THE FLIGHT ATTENDANT AND CO-PILOT ARE AMAZED AND ASKED HIM WHAT HE SAID TO MAKE HER MOVE WITHOUT ANY FUSS.

"I TOLD HER, 'FIRST CLASS ISN'T GOING TO TORONTO."
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Kweenshantel
Joke: Wahala No Dey Finish
~1.0 mins read
My wife took my phone, deleted my girlfriend Adenike's number and saved her own number as ADENIKE. You see, someone had told my wife about Adenike my girlfriend but I didn't know.

I then got an SMS from Adenike asking for mobile money #250,000. I didn't have such money so I rushed to my wife and lied to her that I needed #250,000, for an emergency. I told her that my mother was sick and needed the money urgently. My wife gave me the money and I rushed to send it to the account number written in the message. 

Adenike did not acknowledge receipt of the money. While I was relaxing at home after work, I kept wondering if she received the money. I sent her an SMS to find out if she had received the money. Her response was, *"Call me now."* so I went out of the house to make the call.

You can imagine my horror when my wife answered the call instead of Adenike!!!

Since yesterday after the call, I'm still standing outside with the phone in my hand.

I don't know how to get back into my own house now !!!
 
It’s about to rain and I’m still outside MY OWN HOUSE. 
Please those who are expert in this line help me out with advice. 
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Gale2626
Funny But Let's Be Honest With This
~0.7 mins read
You are an usher In the church. On sunday morning, before the arrival of the pastor, a stranger found you in the church and gave you a packet of sugar for the pastor and #10,000 for yourself.

When the pastor arrived and you briefed him. He refused to believe you. He said it was inconceivable that someone would donate a simple packet of sugar to him the pastor and give you #10,000. He collected the money and gave you the packet of sugar.

Getting home, you unsealed the nylon of the sugar and tore the packet. You realized that it did not contain sugar as envisaged rather a well counted sum of million dollars.The next service you give the testimony in the church and after service pastor asked you to return the packet of sugar to him. 

*Now, as a "BORN AGAIN" child of God. What will you do?

Just be sincere.

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