relationships

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Dondu
Can You Date Yourself?
~3.8 mins read

The number of heartbreaks will drastically reduce if many young people will sincerely answer this question before getting into a relationship. Sadly, many have not stopped to ask themselves this question. These days, being in a relationship seems to be more important to people than the purpose for which they get into it. Like Dr. Myles Munroe would say, when the purpose of a thing is not Known, abuse is inevitable. This might possibly be the reason why we have many abusive relationships today. Young people just want to mingle because they are single.

But does being single really qualify anyone to be in a relationship? the answer is definitely no. You can be single and still not be responsible and matured enough to handle and manage relationships. Being single is not just enough. If only we can sit down to reasonably ask and answer this question, the world will be a better place. And many ladies will desist from saying all men are the same and the guys too, will stop saying all girls are cheap. There are many things to consider before getting into a relationship:

1. Responsibility 

How responsible are you? This is one amongst the many questions that every single person should answer before dating. Winston Churchill once said that responsibility is the price for greatness. Many young people have not so learnt responsibility. Unfortunately, they have not grown to a state of being answerable and accountable, and that is what responsibility is all about. If you are the type that does what you want to do with the mindset that you owe no man an explanation, don't go into a relationship; you will end up hurting and breaking the  hearts of people. In relationship, you are answerable and accountable to the one you love. The day you start a relationship, you have lost the liberty to do whatever you want to do without carrying your partner along. You owe him/her accountability in every major decision you want to make. You shouldn't start a job without informing your partner. Sadly, even some who claim to be ready for marriage are guilty of this. They make decisions without seeking the opinion of their partners.

No love relationship will succeed with such a mindset.

2. Commitment

How committed are you? Nowadays, "I love you" is more passive than active in many relationships. It has been made a mantra with little or no show of corresponding action. How can you say you love someone without a corresponding action to prove it? Love is more of a verb than it is a noun. Like the saying goes, "action speaks louder than words." If we have more people who would "do" love than speak love, many relationships will last.

 3. Teachability

There is absolutely no one that doesn't have flaws. However, no matter the flaws we have as humans, it is never something that cannot be worked on. And one of the attributes we must have, is teachability. It is often said that the power to becoming anything lies in being a student. And learning is one of the main responsibilities of a student. If we truly want to improve on our weaknesses, we must be open to learn. We must train ourselves to never see correction as an attack. If your partner cannot correct you, and if he/she is not someone you can learn from, you don't qualify for being in a relationship. Also, we must not be quick to forget that intimacy reveals vulnerability. If you don't want people to see your weaknesses, kindly do yourself the favour of avoiding intimacy with anyone.

There is no weakness too big enough to not lay aside in the lives of those who are willing to learn. Most of what we call weakness in relationships are learned behaviours. We can actually unlearn them by renewing our minds. And it takes a heart that is open to learn, unlearn and relearn to do this. This in itself, is teachability. 

There are many other attributes that can be added to the list for a relationship to work out. But one vital point that we all must take home is this: until we have succeeded in dating ourselves, we won't succeed at dating others. Your love life first begins with you. If you don't know how to love yourself, you are likely to flop in the way and manner you love others.

Until you have succeeded in dating yourself, kindly stay away from dating others. Someone may be quick to ask, "but why?" Well, the trust is, when we don't learn to begin with ourselves, beginning with others might be very tough. A man that knows how to take care of himself is likely to easily take care of others. On a scale of 1- 10, how would you rate your self love?

Talking about self love, we shouldn't forget that we are to love our neighbours as ourselves. How can we love them when we have not first learnt to love ourselves? It will shock you to know that some guys are very stingy to themselves. Now, how do you expect such guys to give freely in a relationship? Sincerely, it will be very difficult: because they have not learnt to give to themselves first! That's how it works! Nobody is rushing you. If you are in any way guilty of these things, kindly convict and grant yourself bail before you run into the continual treason of failed relationships.

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Ladykath
Here Are Ways To Get Your Partner To Love You More
~0.6 mins read
1. Examine your actions.
Consider how your dissatisfaction with your partner's lack of attention has caused you to be more critical of them. There could be a self-fulfilling prophecy at work, in which you're creating the conditions for your partner to become distant.
 
2- Inquire about your partner's requirements.
Instead of asking for what you require from your relationship, inquire about what they desire from you. They may have their own reasons for drifting away from you, as well as unfulfilled needs. This is a method of using a solution-oriented approach to channel more effective communication.
 
3- Encourage positive behavior.
With positive reinforcement, encourage your partner's efforts to provide attention and affection. Instead of focusing on what they don't do, make a point of highlighting and validating the behaviors they perform well.
 
4- Communicate.
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Gale2626
The Agony Of A Woman
~1.4 mins read
"Today is the saddest day of my life. As a doctor, I have treated so many pregnant women in labor and whenever I am in the delivery room, I always pray to God to bless all the babies' mothers.

The pain women go through in the delivery room is indescribable and that doesn't include the 9 months they spent carrying the baby. They go through a lot just to give birth to a new life.

Today I cried bitterly because I lost a woman. We don't pray for things like this to happen, but

sometimes God may have other plans.

Why is this woman's case so painful? She had been sterile for 14 years! We have tried IVF (in-vitro fertilization) and so many methods known to mankind; the woman has been through a lot.

Finally, she had just gotten pregnant despite having an ovarian cyst and a huge load of fibroids. Yes, she got pregnant. Her fibroid started to melt away and everything was fine,

After 9 months, it was time! Her husband rushed her to the hospital and quickly I left everything I was doing and took care of her. After four hours it was so painful that we decided to open it. We lost her but the baby was alive. Before her death, she held the baby in her arms and smiled "God is great" and then passed away.

I was devastated and sad, I went to tell the news to her husband. Upon hearing the news, her husband passed out, their happy day just turned sour. We lost a life just to deliver a new life today.

Please respect women as they cross the valley of death to bring life. Respect your wife! Carrying your baby for 9 months is no joke, and being in labor for hours to give birth to your children is a huge sacrifice.

Source:
~Doctor Faith Lulani

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GlowRayy
How To Avoid Toxicity In Relationships
~1.1 mins read
One clear way to manage transparent relationships with people and avoid toxicity is by communication! 
Communication definitely is key and opens a lot of doors in your relationship some of which you never knew even existed. Remember the first time you met someone you got an attraction to and how you could talk for hours non stop? That is the bedrock of forming relationships. When you see something you don’t like, tell them. Same goes for something you like; complimenting does more than just put a smile on the face of your partner, it actually does help create a pleasant atmosphere for it to thrive on. If you feel uncomfortable about something, talk to your partner. Once whatever went wrong is properly discussed, whatever ice was freezing up the relationship immediately breaks. 
Some people don’t talk, they see something they disagree with or something that is literally wrong and keep it to themselves and then their attitude towards you changes and you’re wondering why; something a Nigerian would refer to as “carry me for mind”. 
 If by communicating your feelings to the other person they don’t take it well, then the relationship isn’t worth it after all. When you don’t talk it out, and be like: “okay, she did this, he did this... so I’m going to do this... ” without talking it out, that’s where the toxicity begins!!! 
Awkward silences, stealing weird glances, the atmosphere becomes uncomfortable and so will the relationship. I’m sure you get the idea.
 
Credit: Glow Rayy.
 
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Gale2626
Don't Call Me Oyibo Again - German Woman Married To Nigerian Man Hails Herself After Making 'Ofe Akwu' For The First Tim
~0.6 mins read
A German woman who is married to an Enugu man has hailed herself after she prepared Ofe Akwu (palm nut soup), for the first time. 

The woman who calls herself "Baby Oku Germany"  took to Facebook on Thursday, October 6, to share photos of the soup she made.
"Today me chief Baby oku was in high spirtit as iIdey cry for my favorite place in this World 042 ngwo enugu state naija , Igbo Land, I still dey for my remeberance ... so i rush buy everything to carry myself back to village .... the result was ofe akwu," she wrote. 
"My oga nearly died as He came home and saw the Pot. I know say as oyibo me I try weller. Nwanji ocha done commot from my body since oooh! From today make una no call me oyibo again. My ofe akwu was tasting unexpected delicious. Is my first time preparing it."