Mothers Do Know Better, They Identify Toxic Friendships And Relationships Before We Do



2 years ago

~4.7 mins read

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"Why do you meet that friend of yours only when she is free?"

"Your boyfriend doesn't like your best friend? She is family, it is not hard to like her."

"Why do I never see the clothes you lend your school friend? She returns them, right?"

Mothers can sometimes seem intrusive and nagging with all their questions and opinions on your life and relationships. But if you look closely, those are just concerns. She is acting out of intuition and you are not ready for that truth bomb yet.

Years of fighting my mom's insights on my relationships have finally taught me something. 

As someone who has grown up rebelling against everything said to her out of concern, I have learnt the hard way that a mother's keen eye for detail is rarely incorrect. At one point in time I was so offended by her assumptions being correct that I started blaming her for all the problems she tried to protect me from. 



I had a friend in school who used to steal money. I didn't believe it, even though everyone including my mother warned me against it.

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Sometimes I used to see her do it and did nothing about it. Everyone tried to get me to leave her, but I thought it would be too mean to break someone's heart, especially after they shared that they were in dire need of money all the time. 

She stole my first phone--a Blackberry Torch 9800. Almost 9 years ago, it cost my parents Rs 42,000. I still remember this because it was a rude wakeup call. 

Was my mother wishing ill on me or seeing something I wasn't?

And just like that, everything that my mother pointed out in my life turned out to be true.

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If she called someone competitive in a friendship, a few months down the line I would find that my so-called friend had been hiding where she was applying to college so I didn't apply there as well. And this was after I had shared my life with her like an open book. 

No one can beat a mother's instinct, nor question their intentions. I am not saying this without reason. One, they are proven right 9 times out of 10. Two, they don't like us saying they are wrong to their face. 

Their instincts kick in with our friendships and relationships since they're not the ones looking through rose-tinted glasses. And oftentimes, it is important to pay heed to what they say. 

An adult relationship with your mother is the biggest learning curve in life

I can't say this for everyone but the people around me, my friends and peers at work, and others whom I interact with-- all have seen an evolution in their relationships with their mothers. They have all learnt that moms can make great friends outside of just their maternal roles. They can have meaningful insights, even if they don't mince their words.

While the younger lot still fights their mom's suggestions because they want to live life on their own terms, the older ones have broadened their perspective, welcoming each thought and each suggestion into their regular life. 

In the end, a person only learns if they are actually open to different perspectives. A student of life will seldom find knowledge when they reject everything they don't understand. 

Auther - Yashi Marwaha

Idiva


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 1 like
 
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Bkay (Basic)   2 yrs
Nice article
0

love

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