How To Make Banana 🍌bread 🍞

Today, I remembered that some of you cannot find your way around the kitchen and I wept in my spirit.

As a premium chef that landed Trevor through my culinary expertise, I was moved to teach you once again how to make banana bread in 10 easy steps. Step 9 is the most important. 

1. Stand up and go to the junction where they sell bread. Junction not supermarket. Even Jesus bought bread from the junction for the last supper. Na mumu dey go supermarket. 

2. Price the bread. If it's 500, price it 350. Price it till the spirits of your haggling foremothers shudder in fear. If them no gree, do like you're leaving so they will call you back. If they don't call you back, dey go house. You've failed at this task and don't deserve banana bread.

3. Press the bread. If it's not doing fikpo fikpo and entering inside, leave that fufu and go. Press that bread like you’ve been in prison for 7 years and that bread is your girlfriend's bress.

4. Once you're sure it's soft, pick a new bread and go home. Don't take the already pressed bread o. E don disvirgin. Dump it and pick a new one cos you're a kwin. Or a king. 

5. At that junction, find a banana seller. Make sure the seller looks humble and the bananas are rubbed Toke's cream. No Toke, no banana. Say it.

6. Go home and lie down for 20 minutes. You've had a rough day.

7. Insert the banana inside the bread. This is why I asked you to buy soft bread in step 3. If you're a man, this step should feel familiar to you.

8. After inserting the banana, leave it for 30 minutes so the flavour will seep into the bread.

9. Now this is the most important step and determines the outcome of your banana bread. Say burna boy is trasshh seven times.

10. Kins and kwins, your banana bread is ready. It should look like this my picture here when it's done. Serve with hot chocolate or eat as mgbadume.

 

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