Our friendships form a critical part of our support networks, and they can also be an important part of the life experience. Through our friends, we can learn the power of self-confidence, and we can actually gain a more accurate perspective of ourselves and the world around us. Friends are like a mirror that show us both what we are and what we aren't. It's easy for these relationships to become complicated, however, and it's even easier to find them crossing the line before friendship and infidelity.

It's our responsibility to ensure that our friendships don't infringe on our romantic partnerships. Whether we believe that they're meant for us, or we're just looking for something we're not getting at home - there's no excuse for betraying a partner, and there's no excuse for letting things get out of hand. You alone are in control of your actions, responses and behaviors; you alone know what you want and are capable of going after it. Don't let close friends become the hurdles that destroy your partnership. Arm yourself with knowledge and prevent things from going too far.

It's easier to cross the line than you think.

It can be easier to cross the line than you think. Our friends form an important part of our lives, and we can find ourselves spending a considerable amount of time and emotional energy with them.

Sometimes, our friends are there for us when our partners can't be, or before they're even on the scene. They hold an important place in our lives, and when we acknowledge that it can become easy for the lines to get blurred.

Emotional affairs occur when we open ourselves up and fall in love with someone that isn't our partner. This isn't to say that you have a physical affair with them, but you'll find yourself opening up to them in intimate ways, and eventually having feelings that should only be shared with the person you've committed to building a life with.

It's important that we spot the warning signs of a friendship close to the edge and learn how to better set and control the boundaries that manage such a situation. Doing this, however, requires us to dig deep and take a good hard look at the things we want (and don't want) from our lives, relationships, and friendships If your friendship is about to cross the line, there could be a number of reasons why. You alone are responsible for sorting through those reasons to make the right decisions for you and your loved ones.

The increased risks of emotional affairs.

Emotional affairs come with a number of risks, even though we tend to view them as "less damaging" than physical infidelity. Nothing could be further from the truth, however, as emotional affairs do just as much damage to the health and longevity of our relationships and sense of self as any other sort of cheating can.

Polluting the waters

Just as physical affairs destroy the sense of trust and passion we hold with our partners, emotional affairs too poison our relationships and forever cast a shadow over the deep and lasting sense of trust we should be building together. When you allow your friend to become more than they should, you pollute the waters of your partnership and make it hard for your other-half to ever swallow another truth from you again.

Self contempt

Cheating is an "act first, ask later" type of behavior, and one that comes with some serious risks to self.

Whether you realize it or not, you will come to resent yourself, your behavior and all the choices that you make if you engage in infidelity. This is because this type of behavior forces us to violate our values, as well as the values and pressures that we feel exerted on us by society. The longer you allow yourself to slip up, the worse you'll feel.

Romantic confusion

Infidelity, no matter how you engage in it, can lead to a general confusion that makes it hard to keep things straight. When you stray into the arms of another person, you confuse yourself (and your real relationship) by allowing yourself to "fall" for someone who is unavailable (as far as you're concerned). Over time, this can skew or bend your ideas of passion, romance and true love. Little by little, the lines become blurred and you struggle to make even the most basic of decisions like: who do I build a life with?

Physical transgressions

Perhaps one of the biggest risks of emotional affairs is the increased possibility that they will cross the line in to the physical realm. While emotional affairs are just as painful and heart-wrenching as physical ones, knowing that your partner had sex with someone else makes it that much worse. Physical transgressions also bring with them a whole different host of risks, which can include unplanned pregnancy, STIs and STDs.

Warning signs that your friendship is crossing the line.

Infidelity happens slowly, and it happens over time, especially when it comes to slipping up with a friend. From sharing intimate secrets, to finding opportunities to be alone together - these are the most common signs that your "friendship" is heading in a disastrous direction.

Sharing intimate secrets

There are some viewpoints into our lives that just aren't meant to be shared with others. Sharing intimate details of your life with someone who isn't your partner, spouse, or immediate family member can be a sign that things are beginning to become more serious than they should. Though our friends provide an important perspective and a sense of support, it's not necessary for them to revel in the bad in order to be able to help us.

Increased alone time

Do you and your friend find yourselveslooking for excuses to hang out alone together? Do you share lots of one-on-one time (whether secretive or out in the open) outside of work or any other sort of required obligations? Think back to the early days of your relationship. It was probably much the same way. When you're feeling giddy for someone, you look for chances to get them alone; so that you can share and express yourselves without the worry of prying eyes (and ears).

Fantasies abound

If you're interested in someone that you consider a friend, then you might have noticed an increased instance of fantasyinvolving them. These fantasies might come in the form of daydreams, or they may come to you at night in the deepest of slumber. However, they occur, they bring with them an important lesson.

You're beginning to think of this person in a light different from that of just friends. You're thinking of them intimately and in the closest of ways.

Keeping it under cover

We shouldn't feel compelled to hide our lives or our friends from our partners or spouses, and when we do it is almost always a sign that something is wrong on one side or the other. Hiding a friend from your partner, or hiding the time that you spend with them, can be an early indication that your intentions for that friend are not what they should be. You might want to hide these facts from your partner, or you might want to hide them from yourself.

Exchanging personal gifts

It's natural to give our friends gifts, especially on special days (like a birthday) or on special occasions (graduation, buying a house, getting a promotion). It is not, however, normal or acceptable to regularly give them unexpected and highly person gifts. Think watches, jewelry, lingerie. All the things you would give to a romantic partner; but given unexpectedly and without reason. Exchanging personal gifts can be a nice gesture, but it can also be a gesture of something more - or intentions that do not lie where they're meant to.

Pulling out the justifications

How often do you find yourself looking for justifications? Or spitting them out before you're asked? If you're always looking for a reason to justify why you're calling that friend, texting them, or wanting to hang out - it could be a sign that your designs on them are different from what they should be. Endless justifications on your part can be a sign of guilt, or a sense that you're doing something that you want to do, but that you know you shouldn't be.

Making endless comparisons

It's only human to look at other relationships and think, "What if?" It's not natural, however, or healthy to constantly compare your partner to other people. We are who we are, and there is nothing we can do save work to make ourselves better, and work to control our response to the world around us. Feeling unsatisfied or unhappy with your partnership can cause you to look around and compare them against someone like a friend who has caught your eye (or your heart).

Putting them in the middle

One of the most subtle, yet insidious, signs that you might be leaning into a friendship that's breaking beyond its bounds is the involvement of this friend in your romantic relationship. This happens when you put them in the middle of your relationship, or share troubling details of your partnership that might otherwise be better off shared elsewhere. Armed with this information, they get involved in your partnership and disguise their machination beneath a veil of "concern". Wedged between you and your partner, they block out all perspective.

How to handle a friendship that's turning into an emotional affair.

Don't allow your friendship and your partnership to be destroyed by a preventable mistake.

If you think your friendship is heading in a direction it never should have gone, get proactive about setting it right with these techniques.

1. Keep your partner in perspective

When we're dealing with a friendship that's potentially gone off the rails, it's important that we get our partners and our relationships back into perspective. This means keeping them in focus and keeping too the things we are grateful for in mind. Romantic relationships can be a great boon to our experience if we care for them and nurture them as they ask. When we mistreat them and poison them with betrayals of trust however…that's when we risk losing them altogether.

If you're looking at a friendship, that's becoming more, hit the brakes and put your partner back in the middle of it all. Include them in activities with your friends and put them at the center of potential opportunities to stray. Keep them in perspective - even if they aren't there with you - and remember that you made a commitment to safeguard their feelings as closely as you would safeguard your own.

Bring them up in conversation and don't be afraid brag about them or express gratitude openly. Let them know that they mean a lot to you and let others know the same. The more we keep our partners in the center of our perspective, the easier we make it to maintain those relationships and avoid losing them to the pitfalls of infidelity. Make sure this special friend knows where your partner stands and reaffirm your own stance too. Keep your partner or spouse in perspective when thoughts of infidelity arise.

2. Don't keep secrets

Honesty is crucial to a relationship, and it's crucial to our friendships as well. If you've found yourself in a sticky situation with a friend you're growing affectionate for, you have to tell your partner and you have to open up to your friend as well. Everyone needs to stay on the same page, and everyone needs to stay abreast of the situation. Once it's out in the open, it's that much harder for us to make the wrong choices.

Don't keep secrets from your partner and don't keep secrets from your friend either.

Find a comfortable and safe time and space, and sit your partner down to let them know what's going on. Open up about the struggle you're feeling and let them know what steps you're taking to resolve it. Answer their questions and don't shy away from the hard stuff.

Likewise, you also have to open up to your friend and let them know where you're standing. They might have similar feelings for you, or they might have no idea at all. Either way, they deserve to know the part they will continue to play in your life. Explain yourself and allow them to do the same. All the while, keeping your partnership and the commitments you've made at the forefront of everything.

3. Remove excess opportunities

As humans, many of us are only as strong as the opportunities we're offered. Finding ourselves in delicate or suggestive places makes it that much harder to turn down the chance to satiate our baser instincts.

When we're constantly alone with specific friends, or constantly finding ourselves in places that might otherwise create opportunity - we're making it easier on ourselves to cheat and stray away from the trust of our partners.

Remove excess opportunities and stop giving yourself the chance to be unfaithful to your partner. Spend time with this friend in a large group, and don't engage in experiences that could be misconstrued or otherwise seen as having a deeper meaning than they do.

Don't go out to dinner, just the two of you. Don't go to the movies or on trips alone. Keep it platonic by removing the chance to fall for one another in any way short of that which is appropriate - friendship. You don't have to make it harder on yourself, or give yourself tests by putting yourself in compromising situations. Try to keep things on even ground and limit the time you spend together solo if you think something might be brewing between you.

4. Keep it on platonic subjects

When we're attracted to someone on any level, we can find our minds moving to places that are inappropriate. Likewise, we can find our conversations moving there too, and this becomes a problem. When we fail to keep things platonic with our friends, we encourage less-than-platonic behavior…and that's a risk that just doesn't need to be taken if you think your friendship is already preparing to cross the line.

Talk to your friend about your relationships; support one another. Don't cross the line, however, and don't stray into topics that are better left in the bedroom or in the privacy of your own home. Don't tell them all your partner's secrets, or what they're like in bed.

Don't tell them about that embarrassing mistake they made last summer and don't give any details that might make it seem as though you're looking for a different opportunity. Align your conversations and deeds with what you know to be morally respectful to your partner. All couples are different, and we all have different lines. Know yours and don't let your conversation slide outside of it.

5. Take a introspective look

One of the biggest mistakes we can make in this life is failing to look back and analyze the behaviors we engage in and the decisions that we've made.

The same goes for our relationships, be they platonic or romantic. Whether you're dealing with a budding romance, or trapped in the middle of something complicated and painful - the only way out is through. And that means taking an introspective look at what matters to you and considering (deeply) where you truly want to end up in this life.

Take a step back and take an introspective look at things. What emotions are you dealing with right now? How did those emotions (or experiences) contribute to the potential idea of breaking your relationship commitments? Look into who you are and what you want. Question yourself and the reason you're even considering looking to your friend for something you should be getting from your partner.

These answers can provide you with the insight you need to do the right thing. They can also point you in the direction of your true and authentic values and morals. Stop running away from the truths you don't want to accept. Eventually, they will catch up with you. Look back and be brutally honest with yourself. Are you looking for another person because that's where your heart really lies? Or are you sabotaging another relationship for the sake of someone who won't be there tomorrow? You're the only one who can answer those questions.

6. Prioritize your relationships

Prioritizing our relationships is one of the best things we can do when we feel ourselves caught between a rock and a hard place. This means that we have to look at our friendships and our intimate relationships and put them in the places where they truly belong. You have to put your partner first and learn to put your friend in the second seat - where they belong. Committing to a partner means agreeing to place their needs alongside our own.

Don't value your friendship over your partnership and don't give priority to a person who can walk away from you at any time. A friend isn't beholden to be there with you until the end.

A romantic partner has committed to the journey. Stop turning your back on someone who has volunteered for the ride, in favor of someone who hasn't even bought a ticket yet.

If you cannot prioritize your partner on the same level as a friend, then it's time to have some hard and serious conversations. Not every romantic relationship is meant to work out forever. Not all friendships are meant to stay platonic. Be brutally honest with yourself and your partner. If you can't put them first - if you can't prioritize your relationship in an appropriate and healthy way over your friendships - then it might be time to admit where your passions really lie…both to yourself and to them.

Putting it all together…

Our friendships can form an important part of our lives, but they can also provide a considerable opportunity for infidelity. When we are extremely close to someone, the feelings we share with them can become complicated - but that does not excuse straying outside the bonds of our marriages or partnerships. If you're looking at a line that's becoming blurred with a friend, it's time to step back and reassess. What do you want? Only you can make the decision.

Keep your partner in perspective. Whenever you're out with your friends, or engaging in an activity that feels as though it could teeter on the edge, include them or at least keep them in your mind's eye along with the promises you made. Never lose sight of the love that you share and the promises that you've made. Set boundaries with your friend and let them know that they are just as much for their protection as your own. More often than not, we slip into infidelity because we don't hold firm to our limits. Avoid putting yourself in compromising situations and be honest with your partner about how you're feeling or what might be going on between you and your friend. Prioritize your relationships and cut the cord if you have to.

If you can't keep it platonic, then you need to make a leap or walk away. You alone are responsible for holding the line. Either commit to your partner, or rethink your future by taking an introspective look at what you truly want and need from a partnership.

Written by E.B. Johnson

.

Disclaimer If this post is your copyrighted property, please message this user or email us your request at [email protected] with a link to this post