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Abigirl Namwinga Banda told the Matero local court that she is too young to live without s3x. She said her husband Fanuel Banda 28, has been refusing to sleep with her for one year but that he started encouraging her to sleep with other men something she refused to do.

She said:

“My husband stopped having sexx with me 5 months after we got married in 2020. He only lies on top of me without doing his job then the next morning he expects me to cook for him, this is not fair to me”, she said. “After failing to sleep with me, he started encouraging me to sleep with his best friend or other men but I refused. I just want this court to dissolve our marriage because I am too young to live without sexx”, she told the court.

The court then dissolved their marriage so Abigirl is now free to have s3x with other men or get married.

Chapter 1

Gift a young chocolate skinned who walks in a company as a wedding designer lives with her friends Anabel and Gift. On a Saturday when non of them went to work they decided to talk about there day in work. When Anabel was narrating to them about a guy who saw her on the way and offered her a ride since she was stranded and her car broke down,unluckily for her she had forgotten his name but the guy was funny he made her laugh all through the way she really enjoyed his company and wanted to see him again she continued talking about him not until Jessica interrupted her with her own gist. When she was coming back from work she saw this guy who offered her a ride he asked her if she was into hookup and without allowing her to answer the question he went on to ask if she likes it raw or with condom which made Gift and Anabel laughing calling Jessica the hookup girl after much laughter they allowed her to continue the gist. That was when she told the man that she was not a hookup gal which made him dumbfounded cause he embarrassed himself in front of her.

     Jessica, Gift and Anabel behaves like sisters and if no one tells you that they where not blood sisters you will not believe it.

    There gist was interrupted when Gift got a call from her boss to come and prepare design for someone that wanted to wed. She hurriedly dressed,and left even though she was not happy about the urgent call she had to attend to it. When she finished she got tired and hungry and wanted to eat something. 

   On her way back she decided to stop over a restaurant and eat some food before a young guy walked up to her requesting to sit with her which she accepted she continued admiring his muscles since she loved guys who had such muscles.

   To be continued continue reading for chapter 2 to know about there discussion and what was it outcome

PART 3

On the road to Lagos, Iya Farida thought about her future as the night breeze hit her hidden face. She covered the twins with a blanket because it was cold. She had worn Farida several layers of clothes to protect her body. She fed the children that night with heavy meals so none of them would wake up and complain of hunger. She was lost in thoughts and didn’t feel the leaves of plants by the road side slap her face as they drove by. She had her children with her; that was all that mattered to her. The doctor said the money she had on her was too small for her to survive comfortably in Lagos. It would last her only six months. Well, she would get to Lagos, meet with the doctor’s friend who promised to help her get accommodation, a job and then live a quiet life with her children. She was worried that Alhaji will come after them. She had to get a place where he won’t be able to find her. They said Lagos was big so it fitted perfectly into her plan. He didn’t know about her relationship with the doctor so; he would think she was still in Ilorin.

Lagos was a different ball game altogether. It was not what she expected. She was able to secure an accommodation but the place was barely habitable; she lived better in Alhaji’s house. She had no choice; it was all she could afford. She moved in with her children. The doctor’s friend gave her some used furniture and cooking utensils for starters. She was grateful. Getting a job proved even more difficult. Her lack of education, deformity due to the abuse stood in her way and she couldn’t work very far away from home because of the children. She took up odd jobs to make some money. Farida took care of her brothers while her mother worked.

Iya Farida and her children adapted to their life in Lagos. She set out every morning to clean schools, surroundings of offices and hospitals. She changed her outfit and went to the market to carry “load” for people that came to make purchases. She did this till 3:00pm then she buys food for her children to eat and goes back to work. This was her daily routine. She was hardworking and dedicated. She did not want a situation where she had little or no money to fend for her children and had to resort to begging or be forced to go back to Alhaji. 

In a few months, due to her hardwork, she had saved up some money to start petty trade. As she was about to take a breath of fresh air, robbers attacked the house she lived in. It was a regular occurrence in that area but she was unaware. She lived in a dilapidated face me I face you building in Mushin very close to Mushin market. Such attacks were common. As the robbers were moving from room to room, she gathered her children together when she heard the noise. She tried to hide all her money then she heard someone stamping on her door trying to open it forcefully.

“Who is here? Show yourself or we will start shooting.” The robber announced immediately he came in.

“It is me. I am here with my three children.”

He flashed the torchlight at her. In her desperation to hide her money, she did not consider making herself decent as she had only a wrapper tied across her chest. The robber sized her up. She was young and beautiful. The scars were not visible in the dark. 

“Where is your money?”

“Here.” She handed over to him all the money she was trying to hide. She saw the look in his eyes and she just wanted him to leave immediately.

“Come here.” She obeyed using her frame to block her children’s view.

“Open your wrapper.” 

Her worst fears had just happened. With tears in her eyes, she spoke very steadily, “Farida, you and you brothers should lie down and sleep.” She waited for them to obey then she opened the wrapper for him. 

“Come here.” He ordered her. He threw the wrapper away, forcefully bent her across her cupboard and as he was about to defile her, he heard screams and scuffling. He released her saying, “I will be back.”

That began her nightmare. His promise to return made her paranoid. Why would she be constantly raped by her husband and then a robber also wanted to do same to her. Was she cursed? She feared for her children. She didn’t want them to see her being violated. She decided to move out of the house to a safer place. The robber took all her money. She needed to raise money urgently. She worked harder than ever. She worked from dawn to dusk every single day. She did all types of jobs just to get money. 

Eventually, she found a house. She helped a woman carry her load(goods) to deliver to her customer in a small estate very close to Daleko market. A particular house on the street caught her attention. After dropping the load and collecting her money, she walked to the building and entered the compound. She was very impressed with what she saw. It was a storey building of 20 self-contained apartments. The landlord lived in the next building. He had built a small room and parlour apartment in front of the compound which was reserved for the caretaker. She saw that it was empty. She knew if she approached the landlord the way she looked, he would not listen to her. She left with resolve, she would give him all she had saved and work even harder to get more money and pay for the apartment.

She worked harder than before and made some more money. Armed with her plan, she went to see the landlord on a Sunday morning. She wore her best clothes and covered her scar. He agreed to see her which was a plus for her. She greeted him and explained to him she was interested in the apartment.

“I fired the thieving caretaker. I intend to get a new one. I am not renting it out.”

“I am ready to be a caretaker and still pay some rent. I will take care of your compound, ensure it is neat every day. I will get the tenants to pay their bills and keep their surroundings clean. Anyone you have issues with, I will help you resolve. I need accommodation for myself and my three children. I need a safe place and this place is safe.”

The landlord looked at her closely. She was young and beautiful although she covered her face with a shawl. He could keep her there and have her work for him in every way. She mentioned three children.

“Where is your husband?”

“He died when the twins were born and the family abandoned me.”

“O ma se o. It’s a big pity. Pele. I think you should see the place you are interested in.”

Most of the tenants had gone to church that morning, so there were very few eyes on them. He opened the door and led her in. She looked around the place and loved it. The room had two large windows for cross ventilation and a back door that led to the bathroom, toilet and kitchen. This was heaven compared to where she was living currently. She was excited. There she brought out N2,000 she had saved and went on her knees saying,

“Baba, this is all I have. I want you to hold it so I can work some more to be able to afford this place. Robbers have been attacking us and we are not safe. Please, baba mi. Help me.”

The landlord looked at her and could see the genuine plea in her eyes. He responded, “Well, I can give you this place for free if you want. I will employ you as the caretaker to take care of the property. But you must do something for me in return.”

“E se sir. Whatever you want, I will do oh. I promise you. If I can get this house; half of my problems will be solved” she replied excitedly.

“You are a fine girl. Since you no longer have a husband, I can help do what your husband was doing for you.” The landlord suggested.

“Ah baba! How can you say that? How much is the rent? I will pay but I can’t do what you are asking. I can wash for you, clean your house, cook if need be but I cannot share the same bed with you.”

“Why? I am still an agile man. I can go many rounds. Instead of you to give it to boys that cannot help your situation, give it to me exclusively and I will take care of you and your children. You will not need to work, I promise you” he said reaching out his hand to grab her but she jumped out of it in time. Her shawl fell and he saw the scar of her face. “Why do you cover your face? The marks are not bad. I like them. I can make you very happy.” 

“Baba, please, I can’t do this. Give me time to raise the money and give you. Tell me how much rent I should pay and then I will get the money.”

“The rent for that place is N15,000 a year. If you can raise the money, I will allow you to stay. I will not collect money small small and I will not collect agency and agreement fee. If you change your mind, I am ready. Just knock on my gate and ask for Baba Juwon and I will answer you.”

Iya Farida wondered what kind of luck she had. She was really sad that the man wanted to take advantage of her. Other men tried to do same too but she had always refused and focused on working hard for her children. Her children were the most important people in her life right now. She went back to working very hard. After three weeks, she was only able to save N2,000. It was glaring it would take even longer to raise the money.

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Talking on reality of life base on marriages and relationships. 

I have a big question for you! Why will you go into marriage just for you own selfish interest? Or maybe somewhere in your head you think it's love without considering your future, I mean you children .

 

I work in a clinical laboratory just for four months and I leant a lot, part of which I will be sharing here with you.

 

Many months or years in a relationship you didn't go for medical test, a month to your wedding after sharing your wedding invitations card and going through a lot of wedding preparation stress you decided to go for medical test or maybe the pastor of your church or a family member imposed it on you to go for medical test. After series of medical test, you found out that you and your partner are not compatible, maybe due to your genotype or even a deadly disease. what will you do then?

 

This brings people to the decision of bribing the medical doctor to lie about the results to their partner because he feels he loves her or because they've spent a lot of money preparing for the wedding. 

 

Most doctors with God fearing heart doesn't take the bribe, but a case whereby the doctor takes the bribe and lie to your partner without the doctor thinking of the risk of losing his license..

 

Like, have you seen where people with sickle cell anemia suffer, or a child with HIV from birth which he/she is subjected to taking drugs throughout his or her lifetime. It's touching! Why would you bring a child to the world to suffer all because of your selfish interest.

Some will even be like; we will be praying God will change the genotype of the child we would give birth to. We all know that our God is God of possiblity, but still, people of God! prevention is better than care. You have two healthy eyes to see a pit Infront of you, why would you still want to jump into the pit thinking that God will save you God don't like it when you think foolishly o, he gave you eyes to see and also a sense of reasoning. 

Think of the stress you will put your child through and also the stress you will put yourself through, the time and money you will spend in treating them. 

 

General medical test to be carried out before marriage are;

1. Genotype test

2. HIV test (RVS)

3. Hepatitis test

4. Blood group

 

Don't go into marriage because the guy is rich or his handsome. Don't get married knowing you both are medically not compatible all I'm the name of love. My dear if you love him when you know that you are not compatible do you also the problem you and your children will face later? That is why I titled this article CHOOSE WISELY NOT BLINDLY.

 

Pity your unborn children.

Choose wisely for the future.

 

 

Written by

Ayomide shaba.

Every Sunday morning I take a light jog around a park near my home.  There’s a lake located in one corner of the park.  Each time I jog by this lake, I see the same elderly woman sitting at the water’s edge with a small metal cage sitting beside her.

This past Sunday my curiosity got the best of me, so I stopped jogging and walked over to her.  As I got closer, I realized that the metal cage was, in fact, a small trap.  There were three turtles, unharmed, slowly walking around the base of the trap.  She had a fourth turtle in her lap that she was carefully scrubbing with a sponge brush.“Hello,” I said.  “I see you here every Sunday morning.  If you don’t mind my nosiness, I’d love to know what you’re doing with these turtles.”

She smiled.  “I’m cleaning off their shells,” she replied.  “Anything on a turtle’s shell, like algae or scum, reduces the turtle’s ability to absorb heat and impedes its ability to swim.  It can also corrode and weaken the shell over time.”

“Wow!  That’s really nice of you!” I exclaimed.

She went on: “I spend a couple of hours each Sunday morning, relaxing by this lake and helping these little guys out.  It’s my own strange way of making a difference.”

“But don’t most freshwater turtles live their whole lives with algae and scum hanging from their shells?” I asked.

“Yep, sadly, they do,” she replied.

I scratched my head.  “Well then, don’t you think your time could be better spent?  I mean, I think your efforts are kind and all, but there are fresh water turtles living in lakes all around the world.  And 99% of these turtles don’t have kind people like you to help them clean off their shells.  So, no offense… but how exactly are your localized efforts here truly making a difference?”

The woman giggled aloud.  She then looked down at the turtle in her lap, scrubbed off the last piece of algae from its shell, and said, “Sweetie, if this little guy could talk, he’d tell you I just made all the difference in the