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Lana
A Talk About Female Genital Mutilation
~4.2 mins read
What is female genital mutilation?
In simple words Fgm is the partial or total removal of the female external genitalia and it is also called female circumcision due to the fact that it involves the removal of the skin cover of the genitalia. It is also called female circumcision. It is mostly done at an early age or in childhood. The removal of the external genitalia in female usually results to lots of impairement and difficulties, that are just not physical, but are sexual, psychological, emotional and medical. Female genitalia mutilation has been proven to be as a result of cultural beliefs and tradition of people from different societies. The reasons according to the beliefs are to prevent promiscuity and waywardness of girls or women in their society, protect family honor and reputation from being crushed, protect virginity and sexual beauty of their daughters. To ensure social and cultural control of women’s sexuality in that society, secure the marital future of their daughters, promote male attraction rate and sexual pleasure. All these are misconception mostly due to ignorance that must be addressed if fgm is to be eradicated. Estimated 150 million women living today have undergone this ritual (2-3 million girls per year), widely practiced in Africa. Which is alarming.
Fgm is performed mostly in local villages, where the instruments used are are not sterilized. Infant and mortality rates are generally higher in those communities. FGM has no health benefits but many side effects like excessive bleeding, urinary infection, septicemia, tetanus, acute urinary retention, HIV, and other sexually transmitted diseases. These diseases are transmitted due to the fact that the instruments used in performing the procedure are not sterilized. It has been noted that the risks and complications of FGM are adverse to an extent of high death rate, infertility and so many long term effects.
The short term effects or immediate complications are , Severe pain which can lead to shock during and after procedure, loss of blood, inflammation of tissues beneath the skin can occur, Infections on the wounds can lead to tetanus, Urinary dysfunction, damage of adjoining organs can occur as a result of the use of blunt tools by amateur operators.
On the long run, Painful intercourse as a result of tight vaginal opening, Impaired sexual response , Inability to undergo pelvic examinations, Psychological and psychosexual sequelae ranging from anxiety to severe depression and psychosomatic illnesses, painful and blocked menstruation, Increased risk of maternal and child morbidity and mortality due to obstructed labor. However, Women who have undergone FGM are twice as likely to die during childbirth and are more likely to give birth to a stillborn child than other women. Obstructed labor can also cause brain damage to the infant and complications for the mother (including fistula formation, an abnormal opening between the vagina and the bladder or the vagina and the rectum, which can lead to incontinence).
Finally, It has been observed that women who have undergone female genitalia mutilation have psychosocial problems, emotional issues and impairment in sexual behavior, they lack sexual enjoyment as a result of certain physical complications. They tend to have difficult or impossible penetration and painful intercourse due to lacerations and loss of skin elasticity.
there is possible solution to suppress fgm, and I will like to take this opportunity to ask everyone of you here present to contribute to the fight.
Governmental and non governmental agencies, which I am willing to work with have in various ways been trying to suppress the practice of female genitalia mutilations done in different places and parts of the world. Community leadership is the key to decreasing the prevalence of FGM, However, provision of education in the remote areas where there is lack of civilization can also be a method to suppress the practice of female genitalia mutilation as suggested by the World Health Organization.
Sensitization must be done in those communities on the complications, the disadvantages or the risks involved in the practice of female genitalia mutilation and this especially should not exclude the men because it has also been observed that the men of such tradition and custom want their wives and children to be victims or partakers of FGM. The essence of sensitizing the men also is to ensure the change of their mentality towards female circumcision. Moreover, the heads of those communities, customs and culture should be prioritized during the sensitization process in order to ensure that ‘when the head is cut off, the rest of the body dies as well. The government should pass a law against the practice of FGM which will guarantee the fear of community heads and leaders who engage in the practice not to get into trouble with the government and get punished. Campaign road sign against female genital mutilation. It’s a cost effective yet efficient method of sensitizing communities.
In conclusion, Female genitalia mutilation is one that has so many effects on the girls and women that has gone through the process. It tends to change their personality and mindset about many issues of life and it creates a vague image of life in their mind presenting them the wrong ideas to believe it is a norm that should continue generations upon generations.
This practice is not medically related and has no medical benefits as a support to its barbarism other than custom, culture and tradition which is the reason it needs to be discouraged and eradicated to ensure the freedom of these girls and women who think it be a practice of pride in ignorance. Hence, enlightening the victims of female genitalia mutilation is one of the steps to achieving their freedom from such callous act of ungodliness rather than remaining silent and this procedure continues to spread building firm roots and mobilizing generations or more people to its support which will make it extremely difficult to suppress if its backup becomes hard and unyielding.
Ladies and gentlemen, talk about this topic with your friends and family, in order to spread the message and point out that urgent action must be taken. Lets join hands and eradicate this barbaric act.Thank you.
In simple words Fgm is the partial or total removal of the female external genitalia and it is also called female circumcision due to the fact that it involves the removal of the skin cover of the genitalia. It is also called female circumcision. It is mostly done at an early age or in childhood. The removal of the external genitalia in female usually results to lots of impairement and difficulties, that are just not physical, but are sexual, psychological, emotional and medical. Female genitalia mutilation has been proven to be as a result of cultural beliefs and tradition of people from different societies. The reasons according to the beliefs are to prevent promiscuity and waywardness of girls or women in their society, protect family honor and reputation from being crushed, protect virginity and sexual beauty of their daughters. To ensure social and cultural control of women’s sexuality in that society, secure the marital future of their daughters, promote male attraction rate and sexual pleasure. All these are misconception mostly due to ignorance that must be addressed if fgm is to be eradicated. Estimated 150 million women living today have undergone this ritual (2-3 million girls per year), widely practiced in Africa. Which is alarming.
Fgm is performed mostly in local villages, where the instruments used are are not sterilized. Infant and mortality rates are generally higher in those communities. FGM has no health benefits but many side effects like excessive bleeding, urinary infection, septicemia, tetanus, acute urinary retention, HIV, and other sexually transmitted diseases. These diseases are transmitted due to the fact that the instruments used in performing the procedure are not sterilized. It has been noted that the risks and complications of FGM are adverse to an extent of high death rate, infertility and so many long term effects.
The short term effects or immediate complications are , Severe pain which can lead to shock during and after procedure, loss of blood, inflammation of tissues beneath the skin can occur, Infections on the wounds can lead to tetanus, Urinary dysfunction, damage of adjoining organs can occur as a result of the use of blunt tools by amateur operators.
On the long run, Painful intercourse as a result of tight vaginal opening, Impaired sexual response , Inability to undergo pelvic examinations, Psychological and psychosexual sequelae ranging from anxiety to severe depression and psychosomatic illnesses, painful and blocked menstruation, Increased risk of maternal and child morbidity and mortality due to obstructed labor. However, Women who have undergone FGM are twice as likely to die during childbirth and are more likely to give birth to a stillborn child than other women. Obstructed labor can also cause brain damage to the infant and complications for the mother (including fistula formation, an abnormal opening between the vagina and the bladder or the vagina and the rectum, which can lead to incontinence).
Finally, It has been observed that women who have undergone female genitalia mutilation have psychosocial problems, emotional issues and impairment in sexual behavior, they lack sexual enjoyment as a result of certain physical complications. They tend to have difficult or impossible penetration and painful intercourse due to lacerations and loss of skin elasticity.
there is possible solution to suppress fgm, and I will like to take this opportunity to ask everyone of you here present to contribute to the fight.
Governmental and non governmental agencies, which I am willing to work with have in various ways been trying to suppress the practice of female genitalia mutilations done in different places and parts of the world. Community leadership is the key to decreasing the prevalence of FGM, However, provision of education in the remote areas where there is lack of civilization can also be a method to suppress the practice of female genitalia mutilation as suggested by the World Health Organization.
Sensitization must be done in those communities on the complications, the disadvantages or the risks involved in the practice of female genitalia mutilation and this especially should not exclude the men because it has also been observed that the men of such tradition and custom want their wives and children to be victims or partakers of FGM. The essence of sensitizing the men also is to ensure the change of their mentality towards female circumcision. Moreover, the heads of those communities, customs and culture should be prioritized during the sensitization process in order to ensure that ‘when the head is cut off, the rest of the body dies as well. The government should pass a law against the practice of FGM which will guarantee the fear of community heads and leaders who engage in the practice not to get into trouble with the government and get punished. Campaign road sign against female genital mutilation. It’s a cost effective yet efficient method of sensitizing communities.
In conclusion, Female genitalia mutilation is one that has so many effects on the girls and women that has gone through the process. It tends to change their personality and mindset about many issues of life and it creates a vague image of life in their mind presenting them the wrong ideas to believe it is a norm that should continue generations upon generations.
This practice is not medically related and has no medical benefits as a support to its barbarism other than custom, culture and tradition which is the reason it needs to be discouraged and eradicated to ensure the freedom of these girls and women who think it be a practice of pride in ignorance. Hence, enlightening the victims of female genitalia mutilation is one of the steps to achieving their freedom from such callous act of ungodliness rather than remaining silent and this procedure continues to spread building firm roots and mobilizing generations or more people to its support which will make it extremely difficult to suppress if its backup becomes hard and unyielding.
Ladies and gentlemen, talk about this topic with your friends and family, in order to spread the message and point out that urgent action must be taken. Lets join hands and eradicate this barbaric act.Thank you.
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Lana
DIFFERENT TYPES OF LIARS
~7.9 mins read
Introduction
Lying can be devastating. Not only does it hurt the one who is being lied to, but it also hurts the one lying. Interestingly, there are a number of different types of liars. Here are 5 of them.
Sociopathic Liars
Sociopaths are defined as someone who lies continuously in an attempt to get their own way, without showing care or concern for others. These individuals are goal-oriented.
Even though it might seem hard to believe, lying is focused – they are focused on getting their own way. Sociopaths don’t have a lot of respect or regard for the feelings and rights of others. They tend to be charismatic and charming, but they will use their exceptional social skills in a self-centered and manipulative manner.
Compulsive Liars
Compulsive liars are defined as someone who continually lies from sheer habit. Lying tends to be their normal manner of responding to any questions from others. These individuals will always bend the truth, regardless of how small or large the question is. For these individuals, telling the truth doesn’t feel right. They are uncomfortable whenever they tell the truth, while lying makes them feel right.
Compulsive lying is often thought to manifest during childhood, due to being put into situations and environments where lying became a necessity. Most of the time, compulsive liars aren’t cunning or manipulative, rather they only lie because it has become such a habit for them.
This automatic response is more difficult to break. It can end up taking its toll on being able to maintain a relationship. Many people also call these individuals pathological liars or habitual liars, but they all mean the same thing.
Occasional Liars
Occasional liars are those who seldom tell a lie. When they do, they are so blown away by what they said that their guilt overcomes them. These individuals are quick to ask for forgiveness from the individual that they lied to. Occasional liars might not be perfect, but they are often respected for their attempts at being truthful and humble enough to admit when they are wrong.
Careless Liars
Careless liars will go about their normal lives and lie every way they can. This individual isn’t concerned about trying to hide their lies or making sure they make sense. Everyone knows that the person isn’t being honest because they tend to be sloppy with their lies. They don’t have a lot of friends because most people get tired of hearing their twisted stories.
White Liars
People who tell white lies don’t usually think of themselves as true “liars”. They justify their white lies as harmless, or even beneficial, in the long term. They will sometimes tell only part of the truth, and not be suspected of lying at all. White liars may use their lies to to shield someone from what they believe is a hurtful or damaging truth.
Sadly, lying is a common denominator in many of our lives and recognizing some of the different types might just help us in dealing with the liar in our lives. Lies and liars come in all shapes, and in shades of white, grey and black. What distinguishes the more extreme forms of lying is the degree of harm they cause and the extent to which the behavior becomes habitual or uncontrollable.
White Lies
So-called “white lies” generally mean deliberate lies which have no victim or no intended victim. For example:
Telling your children about Santa Claus or the Tooth Fairy.
Telling your kids that they did a great job the first time they tried to dress themselves.
Telling your girlfriend that those jeans don't make her look fat.
Telling your host that she served a delicious meatloaf - when she didn't.
Self-Serving Lies
This is your basic, old-fashioned fib. The most common form of lying is self-serving and infrequent. This kind of lying is done by just about everybody and is usually motivated by a desire to get something you want or to get out of something you don't want. Children instinctively learn to lie from about the age of 4 or 5 when asked loaded questions like "did you wash your hands already?", "did you eat that cookie?" or, "did you hit your brother?". Most of us develop the skill of lying into adulthood. We don't do it any less - we just get better at hiding it.
Dissociative Lying
Dissociation- A psychological term used to describe a mental departure from reality.
People who dissociate believe - at least in part - what they are saying to be true. Dissociative liars can be thought of as people who also deceive themselves when they tell a lie. As they are speaking, they may not be fully aware that what they are saying can be shown to contradict objective truths, verifiable facts, or statements they may have made in the past.
RESULTS
Pathological Liars and Pathological Lying
Pathological lying, also known as mythomania and pseudologia fantastica, is the chronic behavior of compulsive or habitual lying.
Unlike telling the occasional white lie to avoid hurting someone’s feelings or getting in trouble, a pathological liar seems to lie for no apparent reason. This can make it frustrating or hard to know what to do if you believe you’ve met one.
Though pathological lying has been recognized for more than a century, there’s not yet a clear universal definition of the condition.
Some pathological lying may result from a mental condition, such as antisocial personality disorder (sometimes called sociopathy), while others appear to have no medical reason for the behavior.
Defining a pathological liar
A pathological liar is someone who lies compulsively. While there appears to be many possible causes for pathological lying, it’s not yet entirely understood why someone would lie this way.
Some lies seem to be told in order to make the pathological liar appear the hero, or to gain acceptance or sympathy, while there’s seemingly nothing to be gained from other lies.
Some evidence from 2007Trusted Source suggests that issues affecting the central nervous system may predispose someone to pathological lying.
Compulsive lying is also a known trait of some personality disorders, such as antisocial personality disorder. Trauma or head injuries may also play a role in pathological lying, along with an abnormality in hormone-cortisol ratio.
A 2016 studyTrusted Source of what happens in the brain when you lie found that the more untruths a person tells, the easier and more frequent lying becomes. The results also indicated that self-interest seems to fuel dishonesty.
Though the study didn’t specifically look at pathological lying, it may give some insight into why pathological liars lie as much and as easily as they do.
Pathological Lying is a persistent deception by an individual to serve their own interests and needs with little or no regard to the needs and concerns of others. A pathological liar is a person who habitually lies to serve their own needs.
Pathological lying is similar to selfish lying, while being more pervasive. A Pathological Liar has a greater disregard for the effect their dishonesty has on others, resulting in a more destructive impact. A Pathological Liar may often be accused of being self-centered, manipulative and controlling.
What it feels like:
When you discover that you have been lied to, it can make you feel as though you have been taken advantage of, made to look foolish, had something stolen from you. You may feel anger, disappointment and fear all at the same time. You may feel the urge to get even, get justice, settle the score, clear your name.
You may also turn some of that negative energy inwards upon yourself. You may begin to question yourself - "Why was I so easily deceived?" "Am I too naive?", "What other lies have I been told?" Your sense of security may be damaged.
Over time, if you are lied to repeatedly by a pathological liar, this loss of self-security and sense of injustice can severely beat you down emotionally. You may begin to believe very negative things about your own self-worth and your place in society. You may become depressed and feel hopeless and powerless. If you are related to or in a committed relationship with a person who is a habitual compulsive or pathological liar you may feel isolated and trapped. You may begin to consider extreme options to free yourself from your situation.
What NOT to Do:
Don't confuse intelligence with honesty. Just because someone has an articulate, respectable appearance it doesn't mean they are trustworthy.
Don't enter into contracts with people who you do not know well. Don't marry someone, sign a business deal, open your home or your bank account to anyone who you have not known for a considerable time and seen a track record of honesty in their dealings with you and others.
If you see a person lying to others, stealing from others or speaking ill of others, chances are they are doing or will do the same to you.
Don't let anyone intimidate you into giving them your trust. Remind them that trust can only be earned - not taken. If someone tries to make you feel bad for not putting your trust in them stand your ground. Chances are your initial instincts are right on the money.
Don't let yourself become isolated from people whom you DO trust. One of the ways pathological liars retain control is to keep their victims isolated from people who might tell them the truth. Don't give up any healthy relationships with family, friends and acquaintances or let them slip away because of pressure from another person. Don't go it alone or keep what you are experiencing a secret.
Don't give up a good job, good habits, career, hobbies or interests for the sake of another person. What is good for you makes you stronger and is good for your loved-ones. True Love never asks a person to sacrifice something that is good for them.
What TO Do:
Try to judge people by their behavior rather than by their appearances.
If someone makes promises of change or pleads with you to give them one more chance, judge them by their track record rather than by what they say. If a person truly is reforming they will understand your need to do that.
Talk to trusted friends and family about what you are dealing with. This helps to compare your thinking with other people who can perhaps see things in a different light and can tell you if what you are dealing with sounds reasonable.
Hope for the best but plan for the worst. Develop an emergency plan for any scenario that may include theft, violence or abuse being directed towards or your children.
Report all acts of theft, violence, threats of violence or self-harm to the authorities immediately every time.
Maintain your healthy lifestyle and healthy relationships. You will need them. Explain to your loved one gently, if necessary that you have made your decision and that is that and then move ahead. If they really do love you they will be happy to support you in what is good for you.
Lying can be devastating. Not only does it hurt the one who is being lied to, but it also hurts the one lying. Interestingly, there are a number of different types of liars. Here are 5 of them.
Sociopathic Liars
Sociopaths are defined as someone who lies continuously in an attempt to get their own way, without showing care or concern for others. These individuals are goal-oriented.
Even though it might seem hard to believe, lying is focused – they are focused on getting their own way. Sociopaths don’t have a lot of respect or regard for the feelings and rights of others. They tend to be charismatic and charming, but they will use their exceptional social skills in a self-centered and manipulative manner.
Compulsive Liars
Compulsive liars are defined as someone who continually lies from sheer habit. Lying tends to be their normal manner of responding to any questions from others. These individuals will always bend the truth, regardless of how small or large the question is. For these individuals, telling the truth doesn’t feel right. They are uncomfortable whenever they tell the truth, while lying makes them feel right.
Compulsive lying is often thought to manifest during childhood, due to being put into situations and environments where lying became a necessity. Most of the time, compulsive liars aren’t cunning or manipulative, rather they only lie because it has become such a habit for them.
This automatic response is more difficult to break. It can end up taking its toll on being able to maintain a relationship. Many people also call these individuals pathological liars or habitual liars, but they all mean the same thing.
Occasional Liars
Occasional liars are those who seldom tell a lie. When they do, they are so blown away by what they said that their guilt overcomes them. These individuals are quick to ask for forgiveness from the individual that they lied to. Occasional liars might not be perfect, but they are often respected for their attempts at being truthful and humble enough to admit when they are wrong.
Careless Liars
Careless liars will go about their normal lives and lie every way they can. This individual isn’t concerned about trying to hide their lies or making sure they make sense. Everyone knows that the person isn’t being honest because they tend to be sloppy with their lies. They don’t have a lot of friends because most people get tired of hearing their twisted stories.
White Liars
People who tell white lies don’t usually think of themselves as true “liars”. They justify their white lies as harmless, or even beneficial, in the long term. They will sometimes tell only part of the truth, and not be suspected of lying at all. White liars may use their lies to to shield someone from what they believe is a hurtful or damaging truth.
Sadly, lying is a common denominator in many of our lives and recognizing some of the different types might just help us in dealing with the liar in our lives. Lies and liars come in all shapes, and in shades of white, grey and black. What distinguishes the more extreme forms of lying is the degree of harm they cause and the extent to which the behavior becomes habitual or uncontrollable.
White Lies
So-called “white lies” generally mean deliberate lies which have no victim or no intended victim. For example:
Telling your children about Santa Claus or the Tooth Fairy.
Telling your kids that they did a great job the first time they tried to dress themselves.
Telling your girlfriend that those jeans don't make her look fat.
Telling your host that she served a delicious meatloaf - when she didn't.
Self-Serving Lies
This is your basic, old-fashioned fib. The most common form of lying is self-serving and infrequent. This kind of lying is done by just about everybody and is usually motivated by a desire to get something you want or to get out of something you don't want. Children instinctively learn to lie from about the age of 4 or 5 when asked loaded questions like "did you wash your hands already?", "did you eat that cookie?" or, "did you hit your brother?". Most of us develop the skill of lying into adulthood. We don't do it any less - we just get better at hiding it.
Dissociative Lying
Dissociation- A psychological term used to describe a mental departure from reality.
People who dissociate believe - at least in part - what they are saying to be true. Dissociative liars can be thought of as people who also deceive themselves when they tell a lie. As they are speaking, they may not be fully aware that what they are saying can be shown to contradict objective truths, verifiable facts, or statements they may have made in the past.
RESULTS
Pathological Liars and Pathological Lying
Pathological lying, also known as mythomania and pseudologia fantastica, is the chronic behavior of compulsive or habitual lying.
Unlike telling the occasional white lie to avoid hurting someone’s feelings or getting in trouble, a pathological liar seems to lie for no apparent reason. This can make it frustrating or hard to know what to do if you believe you’ve met one.
Though pathological lying has been recognized for more than a century, there’s not yet a clear universal definition of the condition.
Some pathological lying may result from a mental condition, such as antisocial personality disorder (sometimes called sociopathy), while others appear to have no medical reason for the behavior.
Defining a pathological liar
A pathological liar is someone who lies compulsively. While there appears to be many possible causes for pathological lying, it’s not yet entirely understood why someone would lie this way.
Some lies seem to be told in order to make the pathological liar appear the hero, or to gain acceptance or sympathy, while there’s seemingly nothing to be gained from other lies.
Some evidence from 2007Trusted Source suggests that issues affecting the central nervous system may predispose someone to pathological lying.
Compulsive lying is also a known trait of some personality disorders, such as antisocial personality disorder. Trauma or head injuries may also play a role in pathological lying, along with an abnormality in hormone-cortisol ratio.
A 2016 studyTrusted Source of what happens in the brain when you lie found that the more untruths a person tells, the easier and more frequent lying becomes. The results also indicated that self-interest seems to fuel dishonesty.
Though the study didn’t specifically look at pathological lying, it may give some insight into why pathological liars lie as much and as easily as they do.
Pathological Lying is a persistent deception by an individual to serve their own interests and needs with little or no regard to the needs and concerns of others. A pathological liar is a person who habitually lies to serve their own needs.
Pathological lying is similar to selfish lying, while being more pervasive. A Pathological Liar has a greater disregard for the effect their dishonesty has on others, resulting in a more destructive impact. A Pathological Liar may often be accused of being self-centered, manipulative and controlling.
What it feels like:
When you discover that you have been lied to, it can make you feel as though you have been taken advantage of, made to look foolish, had something stolen from you. You may feel anger, disappointment and fear all at the same time. You may feel the urge to get even, get justice, settle the score, clear your name.
You may also turn some of that negative energy inwards upon yourself. You may begin to question yourself - "Why was I so easily deceived?" "Am I too naive?", "What other lies have I been told?" Your sense of security may be damaged.
Over time, if you are lied to repeatedly by a pathological liar, this loss of self-security and sense of injustice can severely beat you down emotionally. You may begin to believe very negative things about your own self-worth and your place in society. You may become depressed and feel hopeless and powerless. If you are related to or in a committed relationship with a person who is a habitual compulsive or pathological liar you may feel isolated and trapped. You may begin to consider extreme options to free yourself from your situation.
What NOT to Do:
Don't confuse intelligence with honesty. Just because someone has an articulate, respectable appearance it doesn't mean they are trustworthy.
Don't enter into contracts with people who you do not know well. Don't marry someone, sign a business deal, open your home or your bank account to anyone who you have not known for a considerable time and seen a track record of honesty in their dealings with you and others.
If you see a person lying to others, stealing from others or speaking ill of others, chances are they are doing or will do the same to you.
Don't let anyone intimidate you into giving them your trust. Remind them that trust can only be earned - not taken. If someone tries to make you feel bad for not putting your trust in them stand your ground. Chances are your initial instincts are right on the money.
Don't let yourself become isolated from people whom you DO trust. One of the ways pathological liars retain control is to keep their victims isolated from people who might tell them the truth. Don't give up any healthy relationships with family, friends and acquaintances or let them slip away because of pressure from another person. Don't go it alone or keep what you are experiencing a secret.
Don't give up a good job, good habits, career, hobbies or interests for the sake of another person. What is good for you makes you stronger and is good for your loved-ones. True Love never asks a person to sacrifice something that is good for them.
What TO Do:
Try to judge people by their behavior rather than by their appearances.
If someone makes promises of change or pleads with you to give them one more chance, judge them by their track record rather than by what they say. If a person truly is reforming they will understand your need to do that.
Talk to trusted friends and family about what you are dealing with. This helps to compare your thinking with other people who can perhaps see things in a different light and can tell you if what you are dealing with sounds reasonable.
Hope for the best but plan for the worst. Develop an emergency plan for any scenario that may include theft, violence or abuse being directed towards or your children.
Report all acts of theft, violence, threats of violence or self-harm to the authorities immediately every time.
Maintain your healthy lifestyle and healthy relationships. You will need them. Explain to your loved one gently, if necessary that you have made your decision and that is that and then move ahead. If they really do love you they will be happy to support you in what is good for you.
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