The plan was to take off for a bit but I got to the office this morning and I started thinking and as always, I want to share my thoughts with you guys.

People argue that feminism isn’t all about splitting bills and some other bla bla bla.

Let us throw back to how men started dominating.

They started dominating because they were the ones with all the money and power.

In a typical Igbo setting, the ones who called the shots were the ones with the largest yam barns and  biggest portions of lands.

They were the ones marrying 100 wives and making laws.

Unoka in things fall apart wasn’t respected cause he didn’t have money.

 

That was why Okonkwo his son vowed to break out from that bondage.  

He started hustling, made money, aquired  so many lands, had the largest farm barns and boom, he became the toast of the whole village.

The sad truth is that money controls almost everything and even the Bible recognized that fact.

Yes I agree.

Respect shouldn’t be based on money.

Eveyone should be respected for being human beings even if they are rich or not.

Now to the present.

Feminism is a social movement advocating for women to be given equal rights and opportunities as men.

However, if you want equal rights then you must be willing to pull in your weight.

I am an adult, same as my boss but we ain’t equals and that is simply because, he pays me salaries so in this context, I am his subordinate.

In a man/ woman relationship, the one who is taking care of the other personal financially, is the one who gets to make most of the decisions. He or she doesn’t even have to take a title for them to be recognized as being the head.

You cannot be forming independent and equality on top person money.

If you want to be treated as an equal then you must be willing to pull in your weight financially because in this fight for equality, whether we like it or not, MONEY is the deciding factor. ( that would explain women who are married to extremely wealthy men do not go about fighting for who is in charge because in ther hearts, they already know).

They are a lot of women who aren’t just talks, they pull in their weights, they are mostly involved in the financial aspect of running their homes.

You cannot in good conscience be dragging headship with a man when he’s the one taking care of all your financial needs. That would be doing yourself a great disservice. Your argument about being equals would hold better standing when you can take care of business whenever you are called upon.

Respect however is what everyone is entitled to.

Even Kings respect their subjects but that doesn’t mean they are equals.

Respect would mean treating their subjects right and always taking their opinions into consideration but the man with the veto power would always be the king.

Anyways, that’s what I think...

Feel free to disagree if you like.

• • • • • •

A friend of mine once said to me “I wonder why people even get depressed”. I remember when I blurted out the same insensitive words, oblivious of the fact that I would one day experience it first hand.

A study by the World Bank reveals that 22 percent of Nigerians (mostly family heads) suffer chronic depression. In my opinion, it is way higher than that because I have met some very depressed young people who – I’m guessing – weren’t really accounted for.

People ask: “why would young people be depressed when they’ve got their whole lives ahead of them?” Well, I’ll tell you my story. And I hope it makes a believer out of you.

I’ve realized that real-life experiences help other people heal because it tells them they’re not alone.

My journey with depression began a few years back after graduating from the university and realizing that I still had an outstanding course to pass. That meant I had to pay all my fees like in the past year. Typical of many Nigerian families, everyone washed their hands of it. According to them, I had no business failing a course. So it became my cross to bear. Did I mention that my major wasn’t entirely my idea?? Years after writing the exam, I have struggled to get cleared from school to no avail, this means I’ve had to search for a job without a degree certification. Call it bad luck or whatever, I say I have a folder of sad thoughts lodged somewhere in my head.

I remember trying to work for a relative and not meeting their requirements. I recall them saying, “No one will ever hire you. I recruit people for a living so I know no one will hire you”. I also remember walking home that day and forming the words to this song “If I wrote a song for all the times I’ve lost it, then my albums would say ‘fight… I’m dancing in a black light but I’m not gon’ hit a wall”. My mind was my safe spot; there, I turned the bad thoughts into inspiring songs. It was my therapy.

Continue on next post! 

#Depression