Justfedd

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Justfedd

FEMINISM OR FRAUD!!???

~2.5 mins read

The plan was to take off for a bit but I got to the office this morning and I started thinking and as always, I want to share my thoughts with you guys.

People argue that feminism isnâ€™t all about splitting bills and some other bla bla bla.

Let us throw back to how men started dominating.

They started dominating because they were the ones with all the money and power.

In a typical Igbo setting, the ones who called the shots were the ones with the largest yam barns and biggest portions of lands.

They were the ones marrying 100 wives and making laws.

Unoka in things fall apart wasnâ€™t respected cause he didnâ€™t have money.

That was why Okonkwo his son vowed to break out from that bondage.

He started hustling, made money, aquired so many lands, had the largest farm barns and boom, he became the toast of the whole village.

The sad truth is that money controls almost everything and even the Bible recognized that fact.

Yes I agree.

Respect shouldnâ€™t be based on money.

Eveyone should be respected for being human beings even if they are rich or not.

Now to the present.

Feminism is a social movement advocating for women to be given equal rights and opportunities as men.

However, if you want equal rights then you must be willing to pull in your weight.

I am an adult, same as my boss but we ainâ€™t equals and that is simply because, he pays me salaries so in this context, I am his subordinate.

In a man/ woman relationship, the one who is taking care of the other personal financially, is the one who gets to make most of the decisions. He or she doesnâ€™t even have to take a title for them to be recognized as being the head.

You cannot be forming independent and equality on top person money.

If you want to be treated as an equal then you must be willing to pull in your weight financially because in this fight for equality, whether we like it or not, MONEY is the deciding factor. ( that would explain women who are married to extremely wealthy men do not go about fighting for who is in charge because in ther hearts, they already know).

They are a lot of women who arenâ€™t just talks, they pull in their weights, they are mostly involved in the financial aspect of running their homes.

You cannot in good conscience be dragging headship with a man when heâ€™s the one taking care of all your financial needs. That would be doing yourself a great disservice. Your argument about being equals would hold better standing when you can take care of business whenever you are called upon.

Respect however is what everyone is entitled to.

Even Kings respect their subjects but that doesnâ€™t mean they are equals.

Respect would mean treating their subjects right and always taking their opinions into consideration but the man with the veto power would always be the king.

Anyways, thatâ€™s what I think...

Feel free to disagree if you like.

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Justfedd

HOPE

~1.0 mins read

Hey, how are you feeling tonight?

Are you fine? Is your skincare routine yielding? How's the diet going? Do you still run, until you feel like your heart is skittering away from you? How are your selfies coming out these days?

Are you done reading that book? Will you finish that story? Have you gotten that mail, or has your heart gotten numb to the pang of rejection letters?

Have you applied for that scholarship? Have you sent that CV? How's the deadline going? Do you still love your job, or have you learnt to assimilate to the things you can't change?

Have you forgiven yourself, for the things you didn't do differently, or do you still live and die being crushed under the weight of regrets? Are the scars healing? Are you in therapy, or at least talking to someone?

Have you told him that he needs to be more accessible? Do you now demand for the love you deserve? Have you stopped stalking people who broke your heart? Have you healed? Will you get yourself up and go for that date?

Do you still take your medications? Do you still pray? Are you drinking less? Are you coping better with the pressure, and dealing appropriately with your substance abuse?

Above all, do you still hope?

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Justfedd

ENOUGH MONEY FOR LOVE?

~1.8 mins read

How much money do we need before we get into relationships?

I will say â€œjust enoughâ€. Just enough to deal with â€œimmediateâ€ worries. Just enough to meet your needs. Just enough to meet the needs of the one you hold dear. Just enough.

When people say the reason they are single is that they donâ€™t have enough money, I am tempted to ask â€œwhat is enough money?â€ Can money be â€œenough?â€. As our finance grows, so does our needs increase. I donâ€™t think thereâ€™s â€œenoughâ€ money out there for one to be satisfied with before he/she gets into a relationship. For when you get that money, youâ€™ll want more.

When money becomes the unit for measuring affection, then I think thereâ€™s a problem. Finance though very important should not be the SI unit for love. Things like compassion, trust, honesty should be the bedrock of relationships and money, an addition.

Everyone needs finance, life itself needs finance. Finance is an integral part of our lives, but should it define what we do with our emotions? Should we let the lack of adequate finance cage our ability to love and be loved? Should a man who hangs on a bus screaming Oshodi from morning till night not experience the warmth of love because heâ€™s not controlling money like Adenuga? Should a lady who sells popcorn by the walk-over bridge at Iyana Oworo not laugh at her partnerâ€™s jokes because her account does not read 6 figures at the end of the month?

Everyone has his/her own level of romance. Lounging in Santorini is someoneâ€™s reality. Talking deep into the night in a one-bedroom apartment is another personâ€™s reality. The value is the same depending on how you want to look at it, the feeling just the same, only the finance varies. With human beings, our feelings of pain, love, disgust, anger, resentment, happiness or comfort are the same though our financial levels might vary.

I think we should give people the liberty to feel their feelings and not imprison their feelings because they do not have the finance to express their feelings. If we are waiting to have enough money, when will we have enough? When will we rest and feel our feelings? Do we really have it all? At what point in our lives do we love and be loved? Will we chase money intending to have it so we can love?

There is love for everyone, plenty of money or just enough money.

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Justfedd

BATTERED BUT NOT BROKEN - The Young Battle With Depression Too!

~1.6 mins read

â€¢ â€¢ â€¢ â€¢ â€¢ â€¢

A friend of mine once said to me â€œI wonder why people even get depressedâ€. I remember when I blurted out the same insensitive words, oblivious of the fact that I would one day experience it first hand.

A study by the World Bank reveals that 22 percent of Nigerians (mostly family heads) suffer chronic depression. In my opinion, it is way higher than that because I have met some very depressed young people who â€“ Iâ€™m guessing â€“ werenâ€™t really accounted for.

People ask: â€œwhy would young people be depressed when theyâ€™ve got their whole lives ahead of them?â€ Well, Iâ€™ll tell you my story. And I hope it makes a believer out of you.

Iâ€™ve realized that real-life experiences help other people heal because it tells them theyâ€™re not alone.

My journey with depression began a few years back after graduating from the university and realizing that I still had an outstanding course to pass. That meant I had to pay all my fees like in the past year. Typical of many Nigerian families, everyone washed their hands of it. According to them, I had no business failing a course. So it became my cross to bear. Did I mention that my major wasnâ€™t entirely my idea?? Years after writing the exam, I have struggled to get cleared from school to no avail, this means Iâ€™ve had to search for a job without a degree certification. Call it bad luck or whatever, I say I have a folder of sad thoughts lodged somewhere in my head.

I remember trying to work for a relative and not meeting their requirements. I recall them saying, â€œNo one will ever hire you. I recruit people for a living so I know no one will hire youâ€. I also remember walking home that day and forming the words to this song â€œIf I wrote a song for all the times Iâ€™ve lost it, then my albums would say â€˜fightâ€¦ Iâ€™m dancing in a black light but Iâ€™m not gonâ€™ hit a wallâ€. My mind was my safe spot; there, I turned the bad thoughts into inspiring songs. It was my therapy.

Continue on next post!

#Depression

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Justfedd

DEAR IZU DEAR BOY CHILD!!!

~1.3 mins read

Painful Exit: The Story Of The Boy Who Shot Himself After Been Falsely Accused Of Rape

1. His full name is Izuchukwu Madubueze was the victim of a self-inflicted gunshot wound on July 16, 2020,â€

2. He Lives in Tampa Florida and he is a well known enterpreneur and fashion designer as you can see in his picture.

3. Trouble started when he came online to see that a Nigerian girl in twitter has added his name to a list of people who tried to rape her for no just cause!

4. Izu Reached out to the girl in many efforts to get her to take down his name but she refused. According to izu friends Izu turned the girl down weeks ago so this might be her way of getting back at him.

5 . Izu did a long video with a sucide note where he tried to explain to the world that he was innocent. The video is available online. Go watch it

6. Many people reached out to him privately but were afraid to speak out for him. They were afraid of getting dragged online by angry feminsist so they all kept mute even when they knew he was innocent.

7. Izu was found dead on the 16th of july where he apparently shot himself. His family are inconsolable about the loss of their son.

8; izuchukwu happens to be the sensitive type of humans who are very emotional and so therefore he couldnt cope with the burning pain of being falsely accussed.

9. RAPE is a very serious Crime, It deserves all the attention it gets. Our society should do more to end rape,

10. But then , Do you agree with me that False Rape Accusers should also Go to Jail! ?

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Justfedd

THIS IS WHY #HASHTAGS SAVE LIVES!

~1.6 mins read

It seems that on social media, the time of reckoning has come for many people. Topics that nations ignored for decades have found voices on the internet. Hashtags have become the new ammo â€“ uniting people from all over and giving a voice even to the weakest. I have never been a proud social media user as I am at this moment.

The world is angry. So many things have been ignored for so long. For years, we looked the other way as things went wrong, but now, weâ€™re in focus. The blinders are fixed and locked on things that do not fit in. Cases of rape, pedophilia, racism, fraud, and more are finally being addressed in the best ways. Itâ€™s sad to see that so much had to go wrong for all this to happen, but fortunately, it is finally happening.

The world has never been one as much as it is right now. It is the most beautiful thing. People are lending their voices using hashtags, and peaceful protests have ensued â€“ leading to a few amendments. Those are little wins and boy, they do count.

One of my proudest moments on social media was when the Blackout Tuesday trended. Twitter was Black. Instagram was Black. And Facebook too. On that day, the world walked in the same lane, spoke the same language, and protested for one cause. We were all one people, and it didnâ€™t matter who was black or white because everybody stood for what is right.

Social media is the court of law, and we are the jury. We, the little people, sitting in our homes, staring at our screens and thinking â€œno, this has got to endâ€. Hereâ€™s what happens when new cases arise. First, thereâ€™s the shock at whatâ€™s happening, then follows the urge to speak out. Thatâ€™s when we start typing. Every single one of us. It is even more beautiful when people take to the streets, and protest peacefully while those who canâ€™t support by sharing photos.

Shout out to every â€˜victimâ€™ who has spoken out and shared their story. It is never easy to admit to being one.

Continued in my next post.

#Loveyourself #BlackLivesMatter #EndRape #StandForEquality #MeToo

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Justfedd

AN AFRICAN MAN'S KNOWLEDGE OF A WOMAN'S PLACE PART 2

~2.0 mins read

The boys were superior by default â€“ not because they had earned it, but because the power had been given to them by what invisible powers that were. And the girls? They were obviously taught to submit to the boys, no matter what. The girls couldnâ€™t do boy things because they were girls. â€˜They had to be girlsâ€™. One time, my illiterate aunt almost had a heart attack because my sister didnâ€™t sit like a girl. It was almost as if she had broken the woman code.

Donâ€™t even get me started on the religious studies we had back then. Iâ€™m a Christian by the way. While we celebrated a lot of the inspiring male characters in the bible, many of the bravest women in the bible like Esther, Ruth, etc. werenâ€™t really hyped as much. The men were everyoneâ€™s role models â€“ they were the ones we revered and spoke about.

In secondary school, we had more male â€˜Senior Prefectsâ€™ than females. Scratch that, let me rephrase, we had no female â€œSenior Prefectsâ€ in all my six years in secondary school. It seemed that no matter how smart you were, you just had to be a boy to qualify. No one really thought about it. It was what it was. It wasâ€¦ default. Even in the university, course representatives and Student Union Government presidents were male. Whoever made the rules surely made sure everyone followed it to the latter. Women could only aspire to contest for the lower ranks, or â€˜as high asâ€™ assistants. â€˜It was their placeâ€™.

Who gave this power to â€˜The Manâ€™? That is one question no one knows the answers to. Well, maybe â€˜timeâ€™ did. Think about it: all through the years, men have claimed spaces over and over again, so much so that it seems like every bit of space belonged to them. It sort of made it â€˜theirsâ€™ to give. Then again, you can only give what truly belongs to you. Now, imagine my entitled African self, walking on eggshells in this fast-changing world. How do I unlearn what I already know?

One time, I went to have breakfast with a female friend of mine who drove and paid for me. While we sat at our table, a male waiter walked up to me and asked if I parked the car outside paying no heed to the lady with me. For all he knew, â€˜The Manâ€™ brought the lady to eat. Thatâ€™s all we know on this continent. The Manâ€™s continent. How do you unlearn that?

It surely is a challenge to adapt to this new world but it wouldnâ€™t be so tasking to teach younger boys a new lesson about a womanâ€™s place. The â€˜rulesâ€™ may have been written a while back, but we exist to rewrite them.

The African Man must know that a womanâ€™s place exists exactly where his place does.

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Justfedd

One Nigeria

~1.4 mins read

One Nigeria!? I think the average man would sigh at this statement. A country that boasts of unity but division and hatred is the order of the day.

We wake up to the daily news of the incessant killing in southern Kaduna, the North had lost its conscience and the nation it's will. the almost every day killings in the area, the continuous violence and bloodshed in Southern Kaduna is unconscionable and stands unreservedly condemned.

â€œThe blood of the innocent is being spilled in the most unimaginably cruel and unspeakably evil manner and with impunity. â€

â€œThe Federal and state governments must live up to their moral and constitutional duties and responsibilities by ending the slaughter and the carnage now.

â€œThe killings in Southern Kaduna is not a revenge, itâ€™s terrorism and must be treated as such. â€œGunmen have become the government. Funerals services have become a daily routine and we are becoming a nation of endless mourning and ceaseless bereavement.

â€œWhere women and children are killed and buried every day, the evil that will haunt and torment the nation has been planted.

â€œNigerian political elites shed more tears when their friends die and no tears when their poor people die.

â€œThe Nigerian poor respectfully mourn the death of the rich or the powerful, the rich or the powerful have no tears for the death of the poor.

Justfedd

FEMINISM OR FRAUD!!???

HOPE

ENOUGH MONEY FOR LOVE?

BATTERED BUT NOT BROKEN - The Young Battle With Depression Too!

DEAR IZU DEAR BOY CHILD!!!

THIS IS WHY #HASHTAGS SAVE LIVES!

AN AFRICAN MAN'S KNOWLEDGE OF A WOMAN'S PLACE PART 2

One Nigeria

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