You're sitting with your Dad in the living room.

Both of you are pressing your phones.

Having different talks about what you both come across on social media.

Buhari. Trump. Joe Biden. Desmond Elliot. High Cost of Onions.

You talk about almost everything and nothing.

Then suddenly, your Dad calls you.

He asks you to come and read a news.

You quickly rush to his phone and see the headline of the news "Emmanuella, the 10 year old comedienne buys a house for her parents."

You make steps to go back to your seat when your Dad calls you and asks.

"How old is she?"

"Ten. Although that's her football age." You say.

"Whatever. But she has bought a house for her parents right?" Your Dad asks.

You nod affirmatively.

"How old are you?" He asks.

"21 years old." You reply.

"And the only thing you've bought for us is bread and that's even when you're coming back from school." He says.

You grudgingly leave his front and go back to your seat.

Then you continue to surf the internet until you stumble on a news.

Immediately, you rush to your Dad and ask him to read the news.

The headline reads "Femi Otedola buys new Range Rovers for his 3 children."

Your Dad stares at you, and says nothing after reading the headline.

Then, you ask "Dad, are you and Otedola not age mates?"

In annoyance, he stands up to slap you for asking him such a stupid question, but you dodge the slap.

The following day, you're doing frog jump in the middle of a family meeting where your Dad is narrating to the whole family how you almost stabbed him with a knife and killed him just because he wanted to correct you.

I enjoyed playing football.

So, I drafted a time-table for our football matches. I happened to be the captain of my club. So whenever I leave the school after closing, I would return to the field to get our matches set. I would go to my friends' schools to wait for them until they are through and whenever they are through we would run to the field and play till night.

So our principal asked us one day to bring out the reading time table he asked us to make ourselves. I remembered I haven't done mine so I tore a sheet of paper blindly from my bag. When I looked at the paper, to my surprise, it was a note I tore. Eww... Gawd.

I opened my eyes and got a plain sheet. I started making the table. I made the table sharply and went out to join my mates.

Principal: (pointed at me with his cane) Hey you! Why are you just coming?

me: (trying my best to avoid a shake in my voice) hmmn...I forgot my tie inside the class so I went I was searching for it...(my conscience gave my mind Taaooma slap. "why did you add that one to it")

Principal: (rushed to me with his canes) why did you remove your tie in the first plac...(word never land finish, gbolagbadagbudu. I ran join assembly)

principal: (pointed at me) come hia! I'm checking your reading time table first.

.

I streched my paper to him, then he opened it. I was already using one eye to see my classmates, the next thing I heard was,

Principal: waaaaaaaaaaaaaat!, my teachers come and see... Monday, king boys club vs Lions palace club 5:00pm prompt

(he made that devilish laughter, I was holding my head)

Tuesday, Giant star club vs Erujeje boys club 5:30pm prompt.

Wednesday Thinkers football team vs youngsters pillars 6:00pm prompt.

Thursday, Erujeje boys club vs Lions palace club 4:00pm prompt no african time.

Friday, King boys club vs Youngsters pillars 4:30pm prompt.

Saturday, Thinkers football team vs Giant stars club. Bet money is not refundable ooo... (there was an uproar of laughter everywhere.)

I was laid on the table like a goat that day. I knew I was a stubborn and unrepentant goat. So I took the strokes like a goat.