A Professor of Psychiatry at the Department of Psychiatry, College of Medical Sciences, Ahmadu Bello University Zaria, Kaduna State, Taiwo Sheikh, has warned that the scarcity of the old and new naira notes will push many Nigerians into frustration and depression.

He also said the situation would worsen the cases of suicide in the country if the Federal Government fails to urgently address the problem.

Prof. Sheikh, who is the immediate past President of the Association of Psychiatry in Nigeria, said the situation if not checked will plunge a lot of Nigerians into mental health crises that will require hospital admission amid a scarcity of manpower and infrastructure.

Speaking in an exclusive interview with PUNCH HealthWise, the psychiatrist lamented that a lot of Nigerians are frustrated and distressed by the naira scarcity.

He noted that Nigerians no longer enjoy optimum mental well-being as a result of recent happenings in the country including fuel scarcity.

The don said, “This scarcity of naira has already increased the rate of mental illness in the country. For an adult to strip himself naked in the bank is not normal. It is no longer what you consider to be normal.

“For people to be punching each other, carrying iron to be hitting one another in front of automated teller machines just to be able to get some money is not normal.

“These are evidence of frustration and when people are frustrated, there is a kind of transferred aggression. When you cannot face what is causing the frustration then you transfer the aggression elsewhere. Most of the time, you transfer it to others. The naira scarcity is generating a lot of frustration.”

Prof. Sheikh reiterated that if the situation is not checked, the country would have more people with mental disorders.

The professor warned, “If this distressing situation and the frustration is not checked, it will lead to mental illnesses that will increase the state of suicide in the country. There is no doubt about that, one thing leads to the other.

“People will develop depression and anxiety disorder. They will become psychotic, suicidal, and homicidal. People will attack others because of the transfer of aggression, and so many things.

“For those who have mental illnesses already, their situation will worsen.”

According to the Association of Psychiatrists in Nigeria, more than 60 million Nigerians are suffering from mental illnesses, noting that only about 10 per cent of them can access appropriate care.

Prof. Sheikh clarified that mental well-being is not a mere absence of mental illness but the ability of an individual to cope with the day-to-day challenges of life without hurting another person.

“Now, when we say mental illness and we say optimum mental well-being, there is in-between that illness and mental well-being. That in-between is what we refer to as this period of distress and frustration.

“So, if you don’t handle such distressed situations very well, they can progress to clearcut mental illness. And if you can handle such a situation of distress adequately, then you can resolve it and then, your optimum well-being comes back. And you can face the challenges of life and move on. Situations like naira scarcity disrupt optimum mental well-being,” he said.

Giving insight into the importance of having optimum mental well-being, Prof. Sheikh said, “Your ability to have your aspiration without hurting another person and pursue it within the expected norms of socio-cultural setting and contribute to the development of your community.

“So, once a distressing situation like this comes in and you have to throw yourself naked in the banking hall, then your ability to cope has broken down. Then you are no longer enjoying optimum mental well-being.

“It does not mean you are sick at that time, but you are distressed enough not to enjoy optimum mental well-being anymore. If we can address your situation at that time, then you can reverse back to optimum mental well-being. But if we are not able to reverse your situation at that time, then you can go on to develop a frank mental illness that will require treatment and hospitalisation.”

According to him, the current situation in the country has shaken the optimum mental well-being of Nigerians and pushed many people towards distress and frustration.

“It has shaken them of that comfort zone of optimum mental well-being. They have shifted away from that comfort zone. Nigerians longer enjoy optimum mental well-being.

“So, we are struggling to cope and in our struggle to cope, we start throwing our anger at others and start showing abnormal behaviours.

“If the situation is not properly managed, then a lot of people will end up with mental illnesses that will require treatment.

“We are already on the edge. If it is not checked, then we are going to have more people with mental disorders,” the psychiatrist explained.

 Prof. Sheikh urged the government to do things that will bring down the frustration in the land.

He said, “Government should do something very appropriate that will reduce suffering, frustration, and distress that people are going through.

“Government should make more money available to people to be able to have access to the basic needs of their lives.”

The Anikulapo star opened up in a video posted on his Instagram page on Thursday.

Remi was reacting to the passing of popular American DJ, Twitch, who died by suicide on Wednesday describing his passing as a sad news.

Remi went on to encourage men to open up about their struggles and pains, admonishing them to take a break every once in a while when life gets overwhelming, saying he had been there before.

He added that it was the grace of God that saw him through the trying time.

Remi said, “Yesterday the news broke of DJ Twitch’s passing by suicide and it was a very sad news but I can absolutely relate to that. It’s never really fine as we say even though we always act like it’s fine. We go through a lot as men. 

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I almost committed suicide in 2017, actor Kunle Remi

16th December 2022

Kunle Remi

Kunle Remi

By 

Sharon Osaji

Nigerian actor Kunle Remi has opened up about his past battles with depression, saying he almost committed suicide sometime back in 2017.

The Anikulapo star opened up in a video posted on his Instagram page on Thursday.

Remi was reacting to the passing of popular American DJ, Twitch, who died by suicide on Wednesday describing his passing as a sad news.

Remi went on to encourage men to open up about their struggles and pains, admonishing them to take a break every once in a while when life gets overwhelming, saying he had been there before.

He added that it was the grace of God that saw him through the trying time.

Remi said, “Yesterday the news broke of DJ Twitch’s passing by suicide and it was a very sad news but I can absolutely relate to that. It’s never really fine as we say even though we always act like it’s fine. We go through a lot as men

“I remember in 2017 I had series of tweet that I went on to delete. It was very suicidal. Someone called me a year later and said I should go delete those tweets, I was going through a lot, I was overwhelmed, I was thinking too much of my career, am I doing enough, am I enough, am I with the right person, so many thoughts in my mind.

“At a point I could not take it, I felt so useless, not enough, incompetent, even though it was the contrary of what I felt, I was beating myself too much, then I started to tweet randomly and I was very close to jumping off the bridge or just taking my life. It took the grace of God for me to scale through that.

“I usually bottle up, I don’t share stuff but I learnt to become better doing that. And I just want to share a word with every man out there. Look it’s not easy and it’s not going to be easy, but talk to someone. Always have someone in your corner that you can talk too and open up with.

“Life is beautiful but it doesn’t guarantee that it will be smooth all the time but we need to always find a balance and choose happiness over being sad. I’ve been there, I’ve gone through it.

“Right now I still caution myself, I take life one day at a time, once I get overwhelmed I shut down. Depression, mental health are very important. We can do better. Just thought to share. 

However, the following signs might point to the depression such individuals may have been trying to conceal.

They have unusual sleep, eating, or drinking habits that differ from their normal ones

When a person seems to have changed the way they sleep or eat in significant ways, that’s often a sign that something is wrong. When a person can’t sleep (or sleeps for far too long) every day, that may be a sign of hidden depression. Others turn to food or alcohol to try and quash their feelings. Overeating can help someone who is depressed feel full, which in turn helps them feel less emotionally empty inside. Drinking may be used to help cover up the feelings of sadness and loneliness that often accompany depression. Sometimes a person will go in the other direction too — losing all interest in food or drinking.

They wear a forced “happy face” and are always making excuses

We’ve all seen someone who seems like they are trying to force happiness. It’s a mask we all wear from time to time. But in most cases, the mask wears thin the longer you spend time with the person who’s wearing it. That’s why lots of people with hidden depression try not to spend any more time with others than they absolutely have to. They seem to always have a quick and ready excuse for not being able to hang out, go to dinner, or see you. It’s hard to see behind the mask of happiness that people with hidden depression wear. Sometimes you can catch a glimpse of it in a moment of honesty, or when there’s a conversation lull.

They may talk more philosophically than normal

When you do finally catch up with a person with masked depression, you may find the conversation turning to philosophical topics they don’t normally talk much about. These might include the meaning of life, or what their life has amounted to so far. They may even open up enough to acknowledge occasional thoughts of wanting to hurt themselves or even thoughts of death. They may talk about finding happiness or a better path in the journey of life. These kinds of topics may be a sign that a person is struggling internally with darker thoughts that they dare not share.

They may put out a cry for help, only to take it back

People with hidden depression struggle fiercely with keeping it hidden. Sometimes, they give up the struggle to conceal their true feelings and so they tell someone about it. They may even take the first step and make an appointment with a doctor or therapist, and a handful will even will make it to the first session. But then they wake up the next day and realize they’ve gone too far. Seeking out help for their depression would be admitting they truly are depressed. That is an acknowledgment that many people with concealed depression struggle with and cannot make. Nobody else is allowed to see their weakness.

They feel things more intensely than normal

A person with masked depression often feels emotions more intensely than others. This might come across as someone who doesn’t normally cry while watching a TV show or movie suddenly breaks out in tears during a poignant scene. Or someone who doesn’t normally get angry about anything suddenly gets very mad at a driver who cut them off in traffic. Or someone who doesn’t usually express terms of endearment suddenly is telling you that they love you. It’s like by keeping their depressive feelings all boxed up, other feelings leak out around the edges more easily.

They may look at things with a less optimistic point of view than usual

This is depressive realism when such individuals appear to have a more realistic picture of the world around them. For instance, while normal people are usually more optimistic about life circumstances, those attempting to conceal depression may say things like “Well, I’m up for that promotion again, but I doubt I’ll get it.”In our own environment, they may be more involved in overt religiously prescribed problem-solving approaches to the detriment of their overall quality of life.

If anyone fits into any of these complaints, it is advisable to visit a psychiatrist or any mental health expert for effective intervention to prevent suicide.

This came a day after the Lagos State Police Command issued a warning that some groups were planning to unleash violence in the state due to the naira scarcity.

The PUNCH observed that some of the banks had started to allow non-essential employees to work from home.

Findings show Zenith Bank has shut down some branches in Lagos State over the fear of attacks by angry Nigerians due to the ongoing naira scarcity.

Our correspondents observed that some Zenith Bank branches in Ikeja, Ikorodu and Agege were shut on Tuesday while some closed earlier.

Since the naira redesign policy started, banks have been at the receiving end of the frustration of Nigerians.

Videos of individuals climbing counters, stripping, and expressing their anger in banking halls have circulated on social media.

Nigerians have been going through hardships in getting their hands on the new naira notes as the February 10 deadline approaches.

This has led to attacks on some banks in the state, as states like Edo and Oyo have witnessed protests that degenerated into riots.

Recently, banks have been subjected to violent attacks. In Ibadan, a Wema Bank branch was vandalised when riots broke out over the weekend. This has led to increased security and caution around many banks.

With the heightened tension accompanying the protracted naira scarcity in the country, some commercial banks on Tuesday directed some of their branches to shut down operations until further notice.

Findings by our correspondent revealed that some bank branches in certain parts of Lagos with no cash to pay customers were asked to shut down operations.

The directive, it was gathered, was to forestall possible violent reactions by frustrated customers who had already begun to take laws into their hands in some parts of the country.

A senior official at Sterling Bank, who declined to be named, confirmed to our correspondent that some of the bank’s branches in the Lekki area of Lagos had been closed on Tuesday.

The source said, “They opened but were asked to shut down. All branches without cash were asked to shut down. Non-essential staff have been ordered to resume remote work mode.”

The source further stated that the closure of some of the banks had become necessary due to the untenable attitude of frustrated customers who believe that commercial banks are to blame for the hardship associated with the current naira scarcity.

“Imagine a situation where some customers come to the bank with cane. They say they want to flog the bank staff. Because of certain reports in the media that EFCC have arrested some bank managers for hoarding cash, customers now think banks are the cause of the naira scarcity. This is not true,” the source further stated.

However, an emailed response from Sterling Bank read in part, “Kindly be informed that there is no memo ordering Sterling staff to work from home. All of our branches and offices are open and functioning optimally. While non-essential staff have been given the option to tap into the existing hybrid work policy (for staff members not required on-premises) due to concerns about an imminent strike by petroleum operators, essential staff are present and working on-premises during working hours to ensure the bank’s operations run smoothly.

“There have also been challenges experienced by staff in commuting to and from work due to petrol scarcity and the resultant difficulties in getting fuel. This is coupled with the growing general level of unrest in some parts of the country.

“We are pleased to inform you that all Sterling locations across the nation have the compliments of her essential staff on premises during working hours and are fully operational at this time. The bank is closely monitoring the situation and will take any necessary measures in the interest of the safety of staff, customers and the general public.”

In a similar development, our correspondent gathered that First Bank Nigeria had directed some of its branches not to open until further direction is communicated.

A source, who confirmed the development to our correspondent, said some of the bank’s branches deemed vulnerable to violent demonstrations by customers had been directed to shut down operations, while other branches that did not have the cash to pay customers were also asked to shut down.

A memo titled ‘Temporary Closure of our LASPOTECH branch, Lagos State,’ sent to the bank’s LASPOTECH branch in Lagos read, “Dear Colleagues, Following security advisory, please be informed that LASPOTECH branch in Lagos State is temporarily closed for business today Tuesday, 7 February 2023.”

Banks in Ojodu Berger and Isheri road shut down operations on Tuesday following a cash crunch that continues in the country’s financial sector.

According to the findings by The PUNCH, the Zenith Bank, opposite Ojodu Mall, had the premises closed for operation as bank customers were prevented from entering by the securities of the lending bank.

Similarly at the Guaranty Trust Bank, located at Bashiru Street, Ojodu Berger, our correspondent reported that the bank was shut down and the ATMs did not work.

However, at the Access Bank just opposite Oremeta street, Ojodu Berger, customers were allowed entrance but one of the stranded customers who spoke with The PUNCH said there was no over-the-counter-payment at the banking hall. Also, the branch of the bank at Isheri road had no cash and ATMs did not dispense as of the time of filing this report.

When our correspondent visited Union Bank on the same street, customers were allowed entrance but only a maximum of N3000 was allowed to be withdrawn through the over-the-counter-payment system.

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The First Bank opposite the Union Bank was out of operation when The PUNCH visited but customers were seen using the ATMs for transactions.

The United Bank for Africa at Isheri road opposite Olaipupo Oduwole was opened but was not paying the customers. All the ATMs of the lending bank were out of operation.

Stanbic IBTC Bank, Isheri road, Ojodu Berger, was out of operation when The PUNCH visited at 3:30 pm. Meanwhile, the security operatives told our correspondent that the bank was opened for operation earlier.

The PUNCH also observed that days after the CBN directed commercial banks to start paying a maximum of N20,000 new notes to customers over-the-counter, some commercial banks seemed not to have enough cash for this maximum amount.

When The PUNCH visited some banks along, Ikotun, Akowonjo and Egbeda axis of Lagos on Tuesday, it was observed that some of the banks that were still paying the new currency only paid a maximum of N2000.

It was also observed that a Fidelity Bank located on Egbeda road, was paying only N2000 over-the-counter as of the time of filling this report.

Our correspondent also observed that the Automated Teller Machine belonging to the bank was not dispensing any cash.

When our correspondent queried the bank on why they were paying only N2000 OTC, one of the bank staff who doesn’t want her name on prints said, “There is no money to pay, we paid N5000 yesterday (Monday) because we had money. Now the money has finished that is why we are paying this N2000 OTC. If we have more money, we will pay more.” she said.

Meanwhile, it was observed that Standard Chartered bank on Akowonjo road was paying only N2000 OTC.

At Polaris Bank on that same axis, one of the staff said, “We have stopped paying, there is no money anywhere, we paid earlier today but because we don’t have money again we can’t pay. Even OTC payments we have stopped paying.”

However, most banks along the Ikotun axis were not paying at the time of filling this report.

The apex court, in a unanimous decision by a seven-member panel, halted the

full implementation of the demonetisation policy of the Central Bank of Nigeria, CBN.

The ruling followed a suit that was filed by three Northern States; Kaduna, Kogi and Zamfara.

A businessman from Edo State, Eromosele Oribhabor, tells ALEXANDER OKERE how his nine-year-old daughter was allegedly left traumatised after she was whipped 40 times by her proprietress on the allegation that she stole N1,000 from a teacher at her school in Delta State

You claimed that your nine-year-old daughter was given 40 strokes of the cane by the proprietress of her school over alleged missing money. Can you explain how it happened?

I have two children and they both attend Cherish Montessori Cambridge Academy in Warri. Gina, my eldest daughter, who was flogged, is in Grade Five, while her younger one is in Grade Four.

The incident happened on Thursday (January 26, 2023). My children do not live with us; they live with my wife’s elder sister; so, we found out (about the incident) on Saturday night. My wife told me that our eldest daughter was given 40 strokes of the cane and that she was accused of stealing. I felt the proprietress should have called me since she had my phone number. So, I was angry. I called the proprietress. She concluded that our daughter wasn’t flogged because of the missing money but because her classmates told her and she (our daughter) used to bring money, sometimes, N1,000, N1,500, or N900 to school. So, she concluded that my daughter stole the missing money. She was not caught with the missing money.

How much was missing?

According to her (proprietress), N1,000 belonging to her class teacher was missing.

How did you confirm that your daughter received 40 strokes of the cane?

She told me. Her younger sister even told me that Gina received more than 40 strokes. She has not been flogged like that before. But when I went to her school to pick her up three weeks ago, Gina led a protest with about six other pupils against her teacher and accused the teacher of maltreating them. In fact, when my daughter saw me, she told me she wanted to leave the school. After the protest, my daughter complained that the teacher had been giving her attitude. She said the teacher often condemned her classwork or artwork. There was a time I bought two pieces of cardboard for my daughter’s artwork. My daughter told me that her teacher condemned her work and made her draw three times as a way of punishing her.

Is her teacher a male or a female?

Female.

Did you see any marks on your child’s body that showed that she was flogged?

My daughter was flogged on Thursday but she did not report to us because she was passing through trauma. When we gave her food, she refused to eat or talk to anybody. When she was sent on errands, she spent hours before returning home. She was flogged on the back of her thighs. She is still a child and they (children) heal fast, so the marks are faint. My daughter felt depressed and confused. She has told me that she doesn’t want to return to that school.

Did you confront the proprietress about it?

We went to the school on Monday and asked her why she flogged Gina. She said she thought Gina had been stealing. When I asked her how (she knew that), she said all she knew was that Gina had been stealing and having been a teacher for many years, she could tell when a child was lying and that the only way to discipline them was to flog them. She said she flogged my daughter that way to discipline her and beat the habit out of her. We were talking to her when she took a cane and threatened to flog me and my wife. She called me the father of a thief and that we were all thieves. She ordered us to leave the school.

She should have called to inform me about what they alleged that my daughter did. And as a father, I know how to handle it. If my daughter actually stole that money, I will discipline her or give the proprietress the authority to deal with her because I cannot breed a thief. I don’t think any offence should attract such a punishment for a nine-year-old girl.

You mentioned that your daughter’s classmates said she had been seen with some sums of money in the past. Where did she get the money?

I give my daughters money. They are children; they need to buy things. I don’t think giving them N500 or N1,000 is too much.

What other steps did you take when you left the school?

When we left the school, we went straight to a police station to lodge a complaint. The police were not happy about it. I thought they would arrest her but they said they would invite her and hear her side of the story before making a decision. I don’t want the matter swept under the carpet. I am not fighting for my child only, someone else complained about the school. A woman told me that one of the teachers flogged her son, so she went to a market, bought two canes, and used them to flog the teacher. So, it looks like it is a habit in that school.

I want the woman to prove that my daughter is a thief. There were people around when she called me the father of a thief and when she was flogging my daughter on the assembly ground, people were present, so they must have spread the news that Gina is a thief. One of the parents told her child not to go close to Gina because she is a thief. You can just imagine! So, she (the proprietress) will have to clear my daughter’s name. When Gina is walking on the road, someone could point at her and say, “That is the girl that was flogged; she is the thief”. A nine-year-old girl will have to grow with that stigma. People may even point at me and say the proprietress wanted to flog us because we are thieves. The woman will not only have to clear Gina’s name, but she will also have to clear my name.

Did you complain to the Ministry of Education?

Yes. The officials told us to allow them to handle the matter. I told them that I was advised by a human rights lawyer to report the matter to them so that they could do their investigation. When the police invited her, she was begging us to forgive her but we were told to return to the police station the next Wednesday (February 8, 2023).

Research has shown that sexual intimacy begins from the way partners relate with each other and couples who are good friends have greater marital satisfaction.

Meanwhile, several daily simple gestures help to foster physical intimacy which translates to sexual attraction. Couples need to understand themselves and create an atmosphere for the bonding to occur.

In her view on the issue, a bank worker, Mrs Funke Medeludo, said activities surrounding the home, made couples lose sexual feelings quickly. She said that misunderstanding, lack of communication, job and career stress, and caring for kids could shift the couple’s attention from each other.

She added that dissatisfaction with one’s partner’s sexual performance, baby arrival or when trying to conceive could contribute to the decrease in sexual connection.

“Lack of communication and misunderstanding is a big issue. It could create a large gap that will affect the connection. Before I got pregnant, I wasn’t interested in lovemaking anymore because it was becoming mechanical and there was no result. When the baby came, I started showering love on my child. Later, through counselling, I learnt to adjust and create time for my husband even when I’m busy,” she stated.

She noted that couples must try to balance other aspects of their lives so that it doesn’t affect the sexual aspect and deny them sexual duties which could sever the marriage. She further said it was vital to seek counselling to resolve certain marital issues.

Medeludo said, “Reuniting feelings is not far-fetched, it’s in the little things we do. Couples should learn to adjust in areas affecting their marriage. Communicate often and try to balance things to prevent infidelity.”

On her part, a businesswoman and mother, Mrs Ruth Kolawole, said that the issue of sexual intimacy cannot be overemphasised in marriage because of its ability to destroy the union if not well managed.

She noted that the inability to appropriately study one’s partner or when partners stop expressing certain gestures and care for each other could reduce sexual feelings.

Kolawole said, “I make sure I study my husband and know what he likes. When I do what satisfies him, it makes him more attracted to me. Being too busy or giving excuses to your partner will make them begin to lose interest. Lovemaking is an integral part of marriage and it’s meant to be enjoyed but when partners let other things take the time for it, it causes the marriage to develop hitches here and there.”

The businesswoman stated that couples should always create time to communicate, study, understand themselves, and learn lovemaking to foster the nuptial bond. She added that one’s partner should be a top priority to seal any loophole or external attractions.

“Couples must create time for themselves and understand each other. This is so that when one partner is unavailable, there will be adequate communication and knowledge of the situation. Childhood traumas could also affect couples’ sex life; they must discuss it and seek therapy/counselling to deal with such issues,” she added.

A civil servant, Mr Fafowora Olasoji, said that when he noticed a disconnection from his wife, he studied her mood and tried to communicate with her especially when stressed or worried about something.

He said what causes a disconnection between couples most times is when there is an imbalance in the home (especially financially), a physical distance, or stress adding, “When there’s a lot of external pressure from work, financial obligations, children and so on, one wouldn’t be thinking about sex. What I do in this situation is to just be there for my wife, communicate with her and get her into the happy place where she gets the sensual connection and is willing to get warmth in my embrace.”

He stated that with appropriate communication, sexual intimacy wouldn’t be an issue.

Commenting on the issue, a sex therapist, Mabel Onwuemele, stated that sex was an emotion thought from the mind before reflecting on the genitals, adding that without the emotional and sexual connection, couples would be unable to bond well.

During lovemaking, she said a hormone called oxytocin (happy hormone) is released, making the couples feel the connection that, when absent, creates a void.

She noted, “When couples stop doing the little things like buying gifts for themselves or communicating, it creates a sort of disconnection. Don’t stop doing the little things that made your partner fall in love with you. Focus on each other’s strengths. Loving someone means you’ll have to adjust and adapt to whom they are and live in understanding with them. This will make the home a much happier place, and make the couple feel more fulfilled. What burns down the home are little things neglected.

“Little gestures like telling your partner ‘I love you,’ how they mean to you, or appreciating them goes a long way in building that strong connection between you both and firing the sexual attraction you have for each other.”

Talking about what could cause a decline in sexual feelings among couples, a sex therapist, Earl Alright, identified stress from all angles (daily routine at work and parenting), children or spouse’s ill health, poor finances/debts, physical changes, and poor hygiene of one partner.

This, he said, could make them lose physical attraction and invariably sexual attraction to each other.

On the solution, the sex therapist advised couples to be deliberate about spending more time with each other and doing things together, stating, “Partners should hold hands as much as possible, eat and watch TV together, discuss issues, exchange big kisses and hugs for at least 15 seconds. Couples should get into the act of fondling sensitive parts of the body and massaging each other, reduce the amount of clothing worn to bed and if possible, change the kind of nighties they wear to ignite a fresh spark in the brain of their partner.”

He noted that when partners communicate the issues responsible for sexual disconnection, it would help them adjust appropriately. He advised couples that after building friendship and intimacy, sexual attraction would fall into place.

Alright advised, “Communicate more often at least three times a day, find topics that you both can talk about, and discuss your sexual fantasies. You can decide to learn something new with your partner or share some gist you have for them via WhatsApp or any other social media platform while at work. Spend time with your partner as much as possible and make sure you have bodily contact with your spouse. You could also change the setting of your bedroom or the bulb. Just do new things that will spark new activities in the brain, they are great ways that can help.”

Besides, a relationship/family counsellor, David Ovie, noted that a breakdown in communication created the channels for more issues to arise which ultimately leads to sexual disconnection, adding that feelings start dying without communication.

He stated that stress and emotional issues caused by financial instability or pressure from work, taking wrong advice, etc. were some of the reasons why couples lose sexual feelings.

Ovie said, “Imagine someone who has undergone stress repeatedly during the week, they wouldn’t give sex a single thought. In fact, it will become a secondary activity in the home. I will advise couples to help their partner who is stressed through the process of relieving stress.”

The relationship counsellor further said that when partners begin to lose sexual feelings, an understanding partner should discuss issues affecting them and not begin to suspect infidelity.

He said, “Though infidelity is one of the reasons some partners lose interest in their spouse, accusing your partner of infidelity when they start losing sexual touch is wrong. It will rather kill the drive more and may cause the marriage to break apart.

“Rather than fight your partner, you should sit and have a conversation about it. Ask questions and discuss the issue causing the loss of interest. It will help you both to get to the root of it and deal with it squarely.”

Sadly, they left because they can no longer bear the distressing issues we have always fussed about; issues of neglect and oppressive government, calling the bluff of the weak citizens and treating them with disdain.

Pathetically, the Nigerian “japa” situation is expanding. A recent survey from the Nigeria Social Cohesion Survey revealed that seven out of 10 Nigerians are willing to relocate to other countries for various reasons, with a good number of them recording success. Today, there is still the increasing rate of an emerging urge to leave Nigeria by the old and the young. Now, the current net Nigeria migration rate is -0.273 per 1000 population, indicating that more people are emigrating from the country. It’s depressing that Nigeria is currently sinking deep in brain drain, and it probably needs a call for emergency.

Last month, a senior bank worker friend told me how the Nigerian banking industries have been facing a mass resignation of employees, which has been affecting service delivery. She lamented how this has been slowing down banking processes, most especially in her bank, leaving many people frustrated as it affects important transactions.

Also, recall that sometime last year, the Nigerian Association of Resident Doctors revealed that about 50 per cent of Nigerian doctors had already found their way out of the country. The University College Hospital, Ibadan, Oyo State, also noted that more than 600 of its clinical workers have resigned their appointments, while the Lagos State University Teaching Hospital disclosed that more than 150 nurses resigned their appointments with the tertiary hospital.

Today, it is disheartening that most of our friends who left the country are mostly highly skilled individuals with abundant talents across different sectors. I can’t agree less as two of my friends are brilliant minds who left the county for great exploits overseas. In July 2022, the Association of Nigerian Students in Europe revealed that Europe alone has more than three million Nigerians enrolled in different higher institutions of learning. A survey also indicates that 89.87 per cent of Nigerian youths prefer to study in a university outside the country. Seventy three per cent of Nigerians, 60 per cent of doctors, and 89.87 per cent of students want to leave the country. They want to flee the country. Tell me, what are they really seeing that the government appears not to be seeing?

First, Nigerian youths are frustrated with socio-economic challenges fuelled by unfulfilled government promises and bad leadership marked by absence of transparency and accountability. The situation brought about cold development, siphons scarce resources that could improve infrastructure and hinder education growth, public health and stack the deck against the poor masses.

In 2022, the unemployment rate in Nigeria is estimated to reach 33 per cent in 2023. This figure was projected to 32.5 per cent in the preceding year. Chronological data show that the unemployment rate in Nigeria rose constantly in the past years. Nigeria’s youth population eligible to work is about 40 million out of which only 14.7 million are fully employed and another 11.2 million are unemployed.

Also, Nigerian youths are completely out of the picture. Rather than being empowered, they have been reduced to a bunch of frustrated citizens with many of them becoming political tugs and agents of destruction in the hands of the enemies of the country, and while the children of these politicians study in prestigious institutions abroad and graduate in time, Nigerian undergraduates struggle with incessant strikes and worrisome teaching aids.

Yes, Nigerian youths aren’t frustrated because the President, Major General Muhammadu Buhari (retd) failed to create his three million jobs per year. They aren’t frustrated because Buhari called them lazy. Nigerian youths are frustrated because of the basic issues.

They are frustrated by the lack of basic amenities, electricity and the distorted academic calendar that springs up every year. They are frustrated by the lack of an enabling environment for good business.

Why won’t they leave when they see that the level of insecurity in Nigeria has continued to worsen over the years? Before, the country battles only the Boko Haram insurgency, but now herdsmen crisis, aggressive kidnap attacks by known and unknown gunmen, and the needless bloodshed in the country are provoking signals. Now, who will really want to stay behind? Who?

The country is dangerous for its dwellers as it can be invaded by anyone and lives will be taken anyhow and anytime. Worse still, the perpetrators are never really brought to book which is more reason for anyone to flee this country. Besides, the economy remains poor. The masses are daily confronted by forex, naira redesign, rising food prices and fuel crises.

Even for business, from harsh economic policies to questionable government and bank policies and high unsustainable cost of doing business.

Right now, I do not think that the Nigerian government has realised how the japa issue can have a bad effect on the country. What happens to the quality of health of the citizens? Who and what are replacing the services of nurses and doctors who left the country? Many good hands are forsaking the Nigerian dream on a daily basis.

When many of the citizens want to leave the country, what would this translate to logically? Moved by the exploits of friends who just left the country, it takes a lot not to obey one’s heart to leave the country for better opportunities once the chance emerges. Not long ago, the Nigerian Economic Summit Group projected the unemployment rate in Nigeria to rise to 37 per cent in 2023 while the United Kingdom is offering a good annual pay to Nigerians willing to migrate there and work as teachers.

Finally, maybe we should no longer blame our leaders for neglecting the Nigerian dream. Perhaps, they see it as a mere fantasy despite the foresight of the country’s forebears. Maybe someday Nigeria will rise again and its dream bold enough for everyone home or abroad to treasure.