You will save hundreds of dollars off the cost of retail tattoos as most gangs have at least 1 or 2 tattoo pros who will only charge you a 40oz of King Cobra.

Forget about years of education, you will gain real “hands on” experience in stealing cars, drive by shootings, shoplifting, beating up punks, lying to your family, selling drugs, and playing dominoes and spades.

Once your bullet-ridden body is found in a dumpster, other members will take up a collection to raise enough money to stop at taco bell on the way to your house, so your family can enjoy 2 tacos and a small coke to ease their suffering when they are given the bad news.

If you get locked up, don’t worry, the gang has your back! 80% of the gang is probably there as well so you will be running things. Unless there is a bigger gang, in which case you will spend a lot of time on your knees, do other peoples laundry and be broke due to having to hand over any money you receive.

Once you get released from prison at age 50, the one remaining gang member will teach you how to push a shopping cart, collect cans and show you where the soup kitchen is. He may also give you tips on how to convince your family to let you live in the garage and where you can pawn a lawnmower.