The Advent of social media has brought a digital way of socialisation amongst different races and countries of the world. Nowadays, people in Africa can from the comfort of their homes know what is going on in the Caribbean. With data, you can have a piece of any part of the world on your phone screen. You don't even need to fly your way to Europe to know what's going on there. This has made the world a global village with members belonging to it from different tribes and tongues. The world has now been made a very small place.
Also, it has fostered communication amongst families apart. It doesn't matter where you are in the world, with data, you can easily communicate with a loved one who stays in another country. Distance is no longer a barrier. With video calls on WhatsApp, Skype, and other social media platforms, communication has been made very easy. All these features have had a positive impact on humans across the globe. Thus, social media can be said to be a paramount tool of globalisation in the world.
However, with all the benefits that humans enjoy using the social media, one can ruin one's relationship with people if it is not used well. This brings us to the common mistakes people make on social media that ruin their relationships. It is true that social media has connected and improved human relationships the world over. Nevertheless, on the other hand, many relationships are being destroyed day by day because of the use of the same. How to use social media correctly, especially to avoid ruining your relationship with people, is an art that you must learn. If you have read up to this point, it shows that you don't want to ruin your relationship because of how you post or comment on post made by others.
To cut the long story short, let's quickly look at these common mistakes people make on social media that are capable of destroying their relationship with people.
Never Post the achievement of your friends on social media before them or without their consent. This is very important when it comes to maintaining your relationship with people. Many young people are gulity of this. Your friend hits a contract, and out of excitement, you immediately break the news on Facebook when your friend in question is yet to do so. It is very wrong. Allow your friends to post their achievement or things that are personal to them first before you post yours. If they don't want it to be on social media, posting it on WhatsApp or IG can severe the relationship you have with them. A story was told about two friends. They were very good friends that many identify them to be from the same family. Let's say their names are Peter and John (to aid clarity). John's wife gave birth to a bouncing baby boy. Owing to the excitement that followed the break of the news, John quickly picked his phone and called Peter to inform him about the new born baby. On hearing the news, Peter abandoned what he was doing and made for the hospital. He was welcomed by happy faces and loud voices cheering John and congratulating the baby's mother. As soon as Peter got to see the newly born child, he pulled out his phone from his pocket and snapped the baby and immediately made a congratulatory post for John and his wife, with the baby's picture attached on the blue app (Facebook).
Since John was yet to come online to see what's going on, he was very happy as Peter shared in their joy. To cut the long story short, few hours after Peter left, John came online on Facebook only to find out that Peter had posted the photo of his newly born baby without his consent. Unknown to Peter, John and his wife had agreed to keep the delivery of their baby off social media. John immediately called Peter to complain about the congratulatory post. Peter on the other hand, since he was not married, interpreted the displeasure from John to mean he was jealous of their progress as couples. That was how their relationship was brought to a halt because of a social media post. Please, don't ever post anything relating to your friends on social media without their consent. It ruins relationship.
Commenting on every post carrying the picture of a beautiful lady or handsome man is one other thing people do that destroys relationship. For those in a love relationship, you must desist from commenting on every fine photo of the opposite sex. Commenting "wow! Wow!!" On every photo of the opposite sex can ruin your present relationship. You are not a siren that makes the sound "wow! Wow!!" Every time. Kindly avoid this if you have value for your relationship. We need not write an epistle on this point. It is very clear and understandable please. Self restrain is a very good character trait that every lover must have in this digital age. No partner will take you seriously when you are all over the place commenting, "you look beautiful, you look handsome" on every post.
Lastly, when a friend offends you, don't vent your anger on a post on the blue app or green app. Stop expressing how bitter you are to your friends on your WhatsApp statuses or Facebook story. It is no news that intimacy reveals vulnerability. We all have our strength and weaknesses. However, only those we give access into our space can actually see us for who we are, with our weaknesses stripped naked. If you ever come to a point where you feel offended over what a friend has done to you, kindly discuss this privately with them. Refusing to talk to them about it and going ahead to write a "book of anger" on Facebook will further destroy your relationship with them. Stay away from making what is private public! Sadly, many are guilty of this. If anything goes wrong in your family, it is a family affair and you must keep it that way. Don't go to social media to rant about it. If you do, at the end of the day, the shame will be on you.
Take note of these things and work on them. If you can post about your friends only when they agree, avoid running commentaries that stir emotions on every post of the opposite gender, and can confront your friends and loved ones over an offense instead of going to post it on social media, your relationship with people won't be ruined.
As far as relationship is concerned, one of the most difficult people to advise are those in love. Because of this, one may even think that the origin of the statement, "love is blind," is traceable to them. But is it really true that love is blind? Well, if love was truly blind, we would have had only blind people falling in love. But since we all fall in love, it just shows that some people's minds are made up the very moment they are in love, regardless of how abusive the relationship is. This is sad but true.
Why are we even having this conversation? The truth is, if people continue to remain blind without seeing realities in their relationships, we are likely to end up having more broken homes and divorces. If you have allowed this piece to detain you up to this point, congratulations! You are been congratulated because of the following lines of thought that you will read.
To begin with, it is your sole responsibility to always shine your eyes in any relationship you ever find yourself in. Shine your eyes because love is not blind! It is only blind when you fail to let your eyes see. One of the things you must look out for, is how good your partner is to others! Are you surprised? Please, don't be. Let's start with the guys. Many men are only nice, kind and loving to the lady they are in a relationship with. But when it comes to how they treat other people, it is alarming and shameful. They are very arrogant and rude to others. In fact, some of them even go as far as bullying people just to impress their ladies! Nobody should treat others bad because they want to prove their love to you. An expression of hate towards others has never been, and will never be a show of love to anyone. If a guy is only nice to you as a lady, it might possibly be a bait to win you all to himself. A nice guy should be nice to the lady he is in a relationship with and to everyone else. Sadly, so many ladies won't see this as a problem because of selfishness. Only a selfish lady will prefer a man to be nice to only her to being nice to everyone.
Since this is not a declaration of the "war" on the male gender, the time to face the ladies has come. Dear brothers, what in God's name are you doing with a sister that only respects you? If she is truly respectful, everyone she comes in contact with, will affirm the same. If you don't see this as a problem, the chances are high that you are selfish. In relationships, our partners are not just nobodies; they reflect us to the world! Yes, it is that serious. Have you forgotten: "show me your friends, and I will tell you who you are?" Arguably, many people don't see their partners as friends. If your partner is not your friend, what then are you into? Do not forget: being in a relationship is being in a "rela-friendship." It is more about friendship. Your partner should be your best friend! And If you truly love a person, their growth must be a part of your priority. However, it is understandable to let them be when they are not willing to grow. You can take the camel to the river, but you cannot force it to drink water.
Unfortunately, we are often carried away by pictures of celebrity couples on social media; so much so that we easily forget how relationship requires a lot of work from both partners to work! Yes, it does. Talking about social media, people don't post about their struggles and pains. It is just a cyber space where many, especially celebrities, post what does not truly exist in reality. They love to post pictures of their partners. Sadly, the same celebrity couples that just trended over a marital post, are the same trending for divorce. Sometimes, dropping your phones and turning off your data to really face reality, is already a step to making your relationship work. Face the irregularities in your relationship and deal with them! You shouldn't be the man that hates everyone but the lady you are in a relationship with. As a lady too, you shouldn't be very rude and disrespectful to your parents and at the same time, be very respectful to your man's parents.
We should only fall in love after we have seen that our landing will be safe. Love should be a choice and not just an affection or feeling. There is absolutely no safety in our feelings because they don't last. You can be feeling happy now and the next moment, be sad. This is very relatable, owing to what many know as mood swings. If feelings don't last, we must train ourselves to never depend on them completely, especially as they relate to the choices we have to make.
Love must always be seen as a choice. Since love is a choice, we must never use our feelings to justify the wrong choices we have made. How can love, a choice we have made be blind? Love is not blind; we are the ones that are blind. We foresaw danger, but allowed the way we felt to inform the decisions we made. And now we are heartbroken, moving around with the mantra that love is blind. For how long shall we embrace a perspective that is not true? Not for too long, at least, not anymore: because love is a choice! When all is said and done, we must be held responsible for the relationships we have gotten ourselves into.
The number of heartbreaks will drastically reduce if many young people will sincerely answer this question before getting into a relationship. Sadly, many have not stopped to ask themselves this question. These days, being in a relationship seems to be more important to people than the purpose for which they get into it. Like Dr. Myles Munroe would say, when the purpose of a thing is not Known, abuse is inevitable. This might possibly be the reason why we have many abusive relationships today. Young people just want to mingle because they are single.
But does being single really qualify anyone to be in a relationship? the answer is definitely no. You can be single and still not be responsible and matured enough to handle and manage relationships. Being single is not just enough. If only we can sit down to reasonably ask and answer this question, the world will be a better place. And many ladies will desist from saying all men are the same and the guys too, will stop saying all girls are cheap. There are many things to consider before getting into a relationship:
1. Responsibility
How responsible are you? This is one amongst the many questions that every single person should answer before dating. Winston Churchill once said that responsibility is the price for greatness. Many young people have not so learnt responsibility. Unfortunately, they have not grown to a state of being answerable and accountable, and that is what responsibility is all about. If you are the type that does what you want to do with the mindset that you owe no man an explanation, don't go into a relationship; you will end up hurting and breaking the hearts of people. In relationship, you are answerable and accountable to the one you love. The day you start a relationship, you have lost the liberty to do whatever you want to do without carrying your partner along. You owe him/her accountability in every major decision you want to make. You shouldn't start a job without informing your partner. Sadly, even some who claim to be ready for marriage are guilty of this. They make decisions without seeking the opinion of their partners.
No love relationship will succeed with such a mindset.
2. Commitment
How committed are you? Nowadays, "I love you" is more passive than active in many relationships. It has been made a mantra with little or no show of corresponding action. How can you say you love someone without a corresponding action to prove it? Love is more of a verb than it is a noun. Like the saying goes, "action speaks louder than words." If we have more people who would "do" love than speak love, many relationships will last.
3. Teachability
There is absolutely no one that doesn't have flaws. However, no matter the flaws we have as humans, it is never something that cannot be worked on. And one of the attributes we must have, is teachability. It is often said that the power to becoming anything lies in being a student. And learning is one of the main responsibilities of a student. If we truly want to improve on our weaknesses, we must be open to learn. We must train ourselves to never see correction as an attack. If your partner cannot correct you, and if he/she is not someone you can learn from, you don't qualify for being in a relationship. Also, we must not be quick to forget that intimacy reveals vulnerability. If you don't want people to see your weaknesses, kindly do yourself the favour of avoiding intimacy with anyone.
There is no weakness too big enough to not lay aside in the lives of those who are willing to learn. Most of what we call weakness in relationships are learned behaviours. We can actually unlearn them by renewing our minds. And it takes a heart that is open to learn, unlearn and relearn to do this. This in itself, is teachability.
There are many other attributes that can be added to the list for a relationship to work out. But one vital point that we all must take home is this: until we have succeeded in dating ourselves, we won't succeed at dating others. Your love life first begins with you. If you don't know how to love yourself, you are likely to flop in the way and manner you love others.
Until you have succeeded in dating yourself, kindly stay away from dating others. Someone may be quick to ask, "but why?" Well, the trust is, when we don't learn to begin with ourselves, beginning with others might be very tough. A man that knows how to take care of himself is likely to easily take care of others. On a scale of 1- 10, how would you rate your self love?
Talking about self love, we shouldn't forget that we are to love our neighbours as ourselves. How can we love them when we have not first learnt to love ourselves? It will shock you to know that some guys are very stingy to themselves. Now, how do you expect such guys to give freely in a relationship? Sincerely, it will be very difficult: because they have not learnt to give to themselves first! That's how it works! Nobody is rushing you. If you are in any way guilty of these things, kindly convict and grant yourself bail before you run into the continual treason of failed relationships.
The Power Of Work Ethics: A Case Study Of Cristiano Ronaldo
~3.7 mins read
Cristiano Ronaldo is one of the best football players the world over. The Portuguese is widely known for his goal scoring abilities in Portugal, England, Spain and Italy. And this has earned him the name "goal scoring machine." He is the most followed person on Instagram with over 450 million followers. A followership that is not just the magnetic force that being a celebrity can propel; the value that the Portuguese has to offer is also a considerable factor. Arguably, the giant strides in football cannot be discussed without the mention of Cristiano.
Before we easily get veiled by Ronaldo's accomplishments in football, we shouldn't forget the consistent work ethics of the Portuguese superstar. The early days of the player was very humbling. He was from Madeira, a remote town in Portugal. His family was very poor that he had to work with MacDonald to make ends meet during his teenage years. Owing to this, Ronaldo knew he had to put in so much work if he truly wants to excel in his football career. This made him to train very hard.
Sadly, many people are fond of using where they hail from as an excuse for not succeeding. They always use their background to escape being blamed for why they failed. If you are one of them and are reading this, kindly turn a new leaf. There are many successful people today with very humbling backgrounds. Some of them could not even afford a three square meal per day. You are likely to shed tears when they tell you the processes they had to go through to become renowned and successful. Ronaldo's story is one amongst thousands that should inspire you to aim higher, and put in the needed work to succeed.
Away from the Portuguese's biography, when it comes to work ethics in football, Cristiano is likely to top the list, as he is widely known for his work outs, diet and consistency in physical exercise. His house has been likened to a gym by many football lovers and fans. He is said to be the first to be in training and the last to leave. This shows hardwork! Many people are carried away by Ronaldo's performance on the pitch without paying attention to his work ethics off the pitch. He has proven himself by all standards to be a workaholic. Many footballers like Vinicius Jr, Haaland, Martinelli and Heun Min Son are all inspired by Cristiano's work ethics. And this inspiration is clearly expressed whenever these players are on the pitch. Heun Min Son, who plays for the Spurs, won the golden boot along side Mohammed Salah of Liverpool, for the 2021/2022 EPL Season. The first Asian to ever win such an award in the English Premier League. Vinicius on the other hand, scored the only goal that led Real Madrid to lift up the UEFA Champions League title against Liverpool last Season. These Ronaldo boys are actually walking in the foot steps of their idol. The 37 year old has inspired not just footballers, but many, including Tom Brady, a retired American footballer who returned back to the pitch because of Ronaldo.
Beyond being completely sold out to physical exercise, one other aspect of Cristiano's life that is worthy of study, is his diet. He is not the "everything goes" kind of player. Ronaldo is very professional with his diet. He doesn't drink soda; he prefers water. Many players have adopted his diet to improve on their health and performance on the pitch. Ronaldo is fully aware that food is medicine, and as a result, he has to be very hard on himself. It is no more an affair of "I feel like eating burger, get me burger." Any meal that will affect his efficiency and effectiveness as a player, is considered not worth it. The admiration he has endeared to himself from many is due to the consequence of the discipline he has imposed on himself on all fronts to be outstanding in football. What a footballer!
If this piece has detained you up to this point, you would have known that it requires hardwork and a high level of discipline to be successful in any area of life. Many cannot sit for 2 - 5 working hours to complete any given task. And they are wondering why promotion never comes to them. If you are lazy, the top is not for you. The top spot is meant for people who are given to hardwork and discipline.
If Ronaldo was ever to be asked if he liked how he trains, he definitely would say no. There were days he didn't feel like training. But hey, common, being trained has nothing to do with how we feel: it is something we ought to do! This is where discipline comes in. If you leave your life to how you feel, you will remain a pauper in life. We must break the yoke of emotions and embrace the burden of discipline if we ever want to amount to anything in life. The top is not meant for those who train when they feel like, eat what they feel like and do what they feel like. The top is meant for those who are disciplined enough to train when they should train, eat when they should eat and what they should eat, and do what they should do!
Discipline is the garment that everyone must wear if they ever want to be welcomed in the ceremony of greatness!
When it comes to failing at a thing and not being able to complete a given task, there is always an excuse that can be given as justification. When you look around the society, those who fail always seem to have a definite reason for not being able to succeed at a thing. "I would have really done this, but because of this or that, I couldn't do anything again," seems to be the narrative of most failures.
If this is true for most failures, is it also true that successful people don't have excuses? Well, the truth is, they all do. They only refused giving in to their seeming excuse. There will always be a justifiable reason for not being able to smash a goal or complete a project. Successful people are those who refuse to allow these excuses to stop them from doing what they need to do.
Excuse and discipline can never co-habit - one will always substitute the other. When you study the lives of highly successful people, one common denominator you will find, is the trait of discipline. To every success, discipline is non-negotiable. There is absolutely no man that has attained a feat in any field of human endeavour that is not disciplined.
The ability to impose compliance and control on one's self until a desired result is achieved is what discipline is all about.
Everyone wants to succeed but very few are willing to withstand the pain of discipline. Discipline is not synonymous to comfort. It is an investment that involves pain with a reward as gain.
If you truly long for success in any field of human endeavour, discipline is one amazing partner you must get married to. If not, you will end up saying, "yes, I do" to regret.
MyPosts
Dondu 3 yrs 466
