I met my boyfriend six years ago when we were under-graduates but I’ve worked with my dad for some four years now.

I also live in one of his flats. My boyfriend got a job three years ago and is currently living with me. I pay virtually all the bills because he says he can’t afford to pay much. He said he would be finished financially, if he had to live alone.

Yet, he thinks nothing of going out with his friends and buying trendy cloths and shoes for himself. Once in a while, he gives me some peanuts as his contributions and has opted to pay the electricity bills only. As things are, I pay for things in the flat and maintain my car – used by both of us. I know he earns considerably less than I do, but I feel I’m being used as a money bag.

Should I kick him out?

Read The Advise Below:

Your boyfriend’s behaviour is appalling, to say the least. It’s way away from what I could ever recommend. He manages to buy what he wants, while ignoring his financial responsibilities to you. What a leech!

What really bothers me is not his sorry behaviour but that you’ve put up with it for at least two years. Don’t you believe you deserved much better? If the answer is yes – and it had better be – then you need to realise that there’s nothing more empowering than a sense of self worth. So, pack his bags and send him to another sucker he can live off.

If he comes crawling back to you, he must be prepared to accept your terms for how things will work in the future. Let him realise that you should each contribute equal percentages proportionate to what you both earn. If you bring in say 60 per cent of the income, and he brings in 40 per cent, you must contribute in that proportion.

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We make love regularly, but I feel ashamed about this and don’t want my friends and family to know. I love this man and want to feel proud of our relationship, not guilty, but I can’t stop sleeping with him, for fear of losing him.

 

Dear Ngozi,

 

I have a feeling that you might be having sex with this man only because you’re scared of loosing him. Whether you are 15 or 50, it’s never a good reason! Little wonder you prefer to be secretive about the relationship. Most people feel uncomfortable talking about their sex lives with their families.

 

Give it a year or so and, if you’re still going strong, then perhaps, you’ll be able to accept the situation and be more open with others.

 

Until then, make most use of the relationship – even if you have to be discreet!