Slimgee27
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Slimgee27
WHY I HATE MEN
~5.0 mins read
"Why did you do it? How could you think of killing your dad?"
"I mean, you walked up to a store and asked for a substance that could be harmful to one's life?" She asked.
My name is Maria, I am 22 years old.
I am a graduate of the prestigious University of Nigeria Nsukka(UNN).
I lived the last 10 years of my life in misery.
Every day I would ask myself 'Is this life?'.
I slept in pain, woke up in pain and spent every hour of the day in pain.
I never anticipated the dawn of a new day.
I found solace only in my sleep and always wished I could sleep forever.
People were scared of death, but I was ready to embrace it.
Growing up, I lived with my dad and siblings.
I was the second of three children- two girls and one boy.
My parents were divorced and so it could be said I was from a broken home.
We were cut off from communication with our mum.
I wonder how much more nature could be unfair to me.
I was once a happy child until I was 12 years old.
My joy as a child was cut short the night this monster laid his filthy hands on me.
It was about 3 am and I could hear footsteps approaching my room.
My first thought was a ghost. I had read and heard a lot about them.
I brought my sister up to my bosom and held onto her tightly.
She was fast asleep and had no idea what was going on.
I could hear the door open gently. Quickly, I pretended to be fast asleep.
I felt a tap, 'shhhuuuushh' he said trying to silence me.
The voice was familiar. I looked up and behold it was my father.
I felt relieved but wondered why he had snuck into the room.
He held my hand and asked me to walk gently so I didn't make any sound.
He led me to his room. I could see him turn the door knob and it was locked.
He came to the bed, lifted my dress and rubbed the surface of my genitalia.
"Sweet" he muttered, wearing a face of excitement.
He put his hand into my genitalia and I felt a sharp pain.
'Ahhhhhh' I screamed in pain.
He covered my mouth with his hands so no one heard my voice.
He forcefully stole my virginity. He raped me!
I was humiliated. I cried but he threatened to kill me if anyone ever found out.
This went on every day for 10 years and I lived in this pain because I was scared.
Every time school closes, he would send my siblings on holiday to my cousin's house.
He always kept me back with the guise that I was wayward and needed to be kept under watch.
I wondered when this would come to an end.
He also warned me against other male gender. He didn't even want them as friends.
I already hated men and so it was very easy to stay away from them.
I got pregnant at 16 and he asked me to terminate it.
On one hand, I didn't want to. On second thought, I had to.
I knew the pain seeing the child would bring me so I had to take it out.
I didn't mind losing my life in the process.
The termination was successful. He decided to let me be.
The pain of the past nights haunted me. Sometimes I would hear the cry of a baby.
I thought it had ended but my brother rekindled the pain.
I kept blaming myself because I was beautiful with attractive physical features.
But could it be it?
I was barely 12 without these curves so why?
I wondered why the people that were to protect me brought me so much pain and hatred.
I didn't let all these affect my academics.
I found little peace at school and was dedicated to having good grades.
I was a loner in my world. I had no friends.
What did I ever do to deserve this?
I wanted to end it. I couldn't continue to live in agony.
I thought about ending my life.
But first, I had to deal with the monster who had made my life a living hell.
I succeeded in getting his food poisoned.
Luckily, he called out for help and got answered.
He lay unconscious in the hospital. I wished he could just die.
The doctor called me into her office.
In her, I saw a friend and a beautiful soul.
I explained my ordeal to her and she sympathize with me.
She asked that I see a therapist.
In her words 'you have been through a lot and need healing'.
My father later passed on and my brother was arrested for some crime.
It felt like nature finally smiled at me and I am getting justice.
I am currently undergoing therapy and I must say; it is not easy because I can not erase the past.
The people involved might pass on, but the memories remain forever.
This is the story of a girl who has gone through a lot.
Share your thoughts in the comment section. Don't forget to clap and follow me for more interesting content.
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