Wifey: Bae take the 3k on the table 

Me: Ehen, why?

Wifey: I noticed you don't have any cash on you. Use that one hold body first. 

Me: Awwwn, thanks darling, you're so kind. Na only you and four other women for this Nigeria remain wey be original wife material.  

Wifey: Anything for you my love. 

(I grabbed the money and put it inside my bag). 

The following morning, I was still on bed when I started hearing sound of someone unzipping my bag, I even wanted to scream thief thief but as I opened my eyes, guess who I saw...Na mummy wa oo, mummy wa was removing ₦2,500 naira from the ₦3000 she claimed she gifted me the day before. 

Me: What's going on here? Isn't that the money you dashed me yesterday? 🙄🙄🙄

Wifey: Ehn, sebi you know that your son's golden morn has finished, it's your son's food that we want to use it to buy oo. 

Me: in the picture 👇👇👇

Fear women...for the last time, (in Yoruba) "e shora f'obinrin oo"😭😭😭😭

"An old woman walked up and tied her old mule to the hitching post.

As she stood there, brushing some of the dust from her face and clothes, a young gunslinger stepped out of the saloon with a gun in one hand and a bottle of whiskey in the other. 

He looked at the woman and laughed,

"Hey old woman, have you ever danced?" 

The woman looked up at the gunslinger and said, "No ... I never did dance ... Never really wanted to" 

A crowd has gathered as the young gunslinger grinned and said, "Well you old bag, you're gonna dance now!", and started shooting at the old woman's feet. 

The old woman prospector - not wanting to have her toes blown off- started hopping around. Many were laughing.

When his last bullet was fired, the gunslinger, still laughing, holstered his gun and turned around to go back into the saloon.

The old woman turned to her pack mule, pulled out a double-barrelled shotgun and cocked both hammers. The loud clicks carried clearly through the desert air, and the crowd immediately stopped laughing.

The gunslinger heard the sounds too, and turned around very slowly. The silence was almost deafening. The crowd watched tensely as he stared at the woman and the large gaping holes of those twin barrels.

The barrels of the shotgun never wavered in her hands as she quietly said, "Son, have you ever kissed a mule's ass?"

The gunslinger swallowed hard and said, "No m'am, but I've always wanted too" 

 THERE ARE FIVE LESSONS HERE FOR ALL OF US:

1 - Never be arrogant.

2 - Don't waste ammunition.

3 - Whiskey makes you think you're smarter than you are.

4 - Always make sure you know who has the power.

5 - Don't mess with old people; they didn't get old by being stupid."

🖋️ ~John Mitchell~ Author