In a couple of minutes, we were at the eatery, sitting opposite each other. I had just 2k (two thousand on me)- my 'Nepa' bill for three months . Whatever put the idea in me that this classy babe was some cheap, low-virtue floozy that said I love you for a bottle of Coke, had started to retreat and guffaw at me from a distance. I suddenly wanted to run away.

'What do you care for?..

 the lean-faced, female willowy waiter asked us in a thin, hard and perfunctory voice.

I modestly ordered for bottled water and beans-pie. For what seemed like ten seconds, the waiter gave me a long, dirty and disgusted stare that made me flinch. I stared back, surprised. 'I said I want.....'

'This is not mama put', She cut in in that thin, hard voice that made everyone turn in curiosity to look at us. I grumbled, briskly rubbed my palms together, blew air into my balled fists and in a small voice punctuated by an uneasy chuckle, ordered for 'the lowest but delectable food available'. All the while, she was staring at me- my date, I mean.

The waiter asked her and she twirled her hair, hummed a little, indecisively and eventually asked for 'a plate of rice and fowl'. It took every ounce of my self control not to laugh out loud. 'Rice and FOWL'! No be only rice and fowl, na beans and bird. The waiter moved slowly from us, shaking her head and most probably wondering what manner of a combination we were.

The food was brought in a jiffy- and so was the small,white bill in which was boldly written THREE THOUSAND, FIVE HUNDRED NAIRA. I stared at it, nearly having a heart attack. And I had thought it was, kpata kpata, one thousand two, highest. I nearly stopped her from eating but she had nearly finished her rice, scooping it in spoonfuls in quick successions, tugging at, tearing and stuffing the 'fowl' in her small mouth and drinking MY water and her Smirnoff ice with such ferocious gluttony. Now, I was in deep, deep soup. I suddenly lost appetite, hated myself, hated her, hated the waitress and hated my poverty and stupidity. I was in for it.

I was sitting under a shade with my music box listening to latest jams when he passed by to his room with the lady.

 

Few minutes later, I sneaked to his window and changed the music to a gospel song; ' BOOK OF LIFE', by Nathaniel Bassey;To the highest volume, then I sat cross-legged on a stool.

 

The lady is seen leaving almost immediately.

 

"Me I don't support evil oo". I said to myself after seeing the lady leaving in a hurry.

 

Oga Benji came trolling after her, begging her to come back to the, yet she won't heed.

I could see streams of sweat protruding all over my guy....

 

I had started giggling almost immediately, just then he came ranting towards me.

 

"Wetin be all this one na, u dey craze??.

 

He was really fuming with anger and drawing closer, I had to pause the music and feign innocence.

 

"Ahhh oga Benji, good afternoon oo". Bows as I greet pretending not to know what is up.

 

"Na thunder go fire that your useless mouth wey u take greet!!!"....

 

"Oga Benji wetin I do na, I even dey greet you, you no......

 

"Waka, u dey mad, cross to me, I will comot ur teeth just now!!"; This time he was shouting and Calling for a fight already.

 

Neighbors had gathered to the scene to intervene, and everyone seem to be talking at the same time.

 

"Wetin happen na"?

 

"Why una wan fight for this neighborhood eh"!?

 

"Make una talk, make we settle the matter bikonu"......

 

"Oga Benji wetin happen na, why una wan fight for my compound"...

 that was our landlord, he had strolled out after hearing noises and now he wants to know what transpired between us.

 

Oga Benji cannot talk, he was just fuming and staring angrily at me, he was held to a still from fighting at me.

 

"Oga landlord I greet you oo,, I just say make ah come outside con collect fresh breeze as heat wan kill me inside room ni oo,, na so oga Benji just come dey insult me, dey para para para for me, I even......

 

"Na ogun go kill you!!...

 

he was struggling to free himself to pounce on me like an angry lion.

 

"Edu make una leave me, this boy na idiot"... 

 

Everyone now confused to why he's really so angry and yet can't say.

 

"Andy!!".  

 

      "Sir!..

 

"Wetin u do oga Benji, tell us".

 

      "Sir, no mind am jorr, I no do am anything oo, maybe he don go smoke again.....

 

Wtf! I wish I had never added that.

 

Punches were raining down on me.

 

Gbas gbos!!

Gbos gbas gbass!!

 

I could feel my soul leaving my body, I became deaf and dead.

 

***************************************

 

I woke up the next year, I have been in a coma.

 

Oga Benji is in 'kirikiri' (a prison ) he's been imprisoned and charged for murder....

 

Wahala be like bicycle!

 

Na since wey dah matter happen ah learn to dey mind my business oo...

 

Am still at the hospital Sha, will be discharged tomorrow.

 

 

"Andy!!!...

 

That was my girlfriend Tiana, she just stood like she's seen a ghost she wasn't smiling nor happy, she was teary.

 

 

"She's married now"...

 

 Hamza had whispered to me breaking the silence that has engulfed everyone.

 

I could feel it hitting me so hard,, my legs becoming so stiff and my hands shrinking, yes, that was it, yes it is, " A Heart Break" ????

 

I fainted.

 

Doctor!!!!!.......

_______________ (to be continued)

©️ Andy...✍️