Ogbonnaya99

Musician

Wants to meet Musicians

Articles
552
Followers
42

profile/34020210927-161016.png
Ogbonnaya99
Relationship Joke 1
~1.1 mins read
"Cash, check or charge? " I asked after folding items the woman wished to purchase. As she fumbled for her wallet I notice a remote control for a television set in her purse. "Do you always carry your TV remote? " I asked. "No," she replied. "But my husband refused to come shopping with me, so I figured this was the most evil thing I could do to him. "


"Ever since we got married, my wife has tried to change me. She got me to stop drinking, smoking and running around until all hours of the night. She taught me how to dress well, enjoy the fine arts, gourmet cooking, classical music, even how to invest in the stock market," said the man. "Sounds like you may be bitter because she changed you so drastically,"remarked his friend. "I'm not bitter. Now that I'm so improved, she just isn't good enough for me. "

"First," said the playboy,"I'm going to buy you a few drinks and get you a bit loose. "
"Oh no you're not," said the girl. "Then I'll take you to dinner and ply you with a few more drinks. "
"Oh no you're not. "
"Then I'll take you to my place and keep serving you drinks. "
"Oh no you're not. "
"Then I'm going to make violent, passionate love to you. "
"Oh no you're not. "
"And I'm not going to wear a condom either! " said the guy. "Oh yes you are! " said the girl."

profile/34020210927-161016.png
Ogbonnaya99
Relationship Joke 5
~1.0 mins read
A Packer fan was enjoying himself at the game in a packed Lambeau Field,until he noticed an empty seat down in front. He went down and asked the guy next to it if he knew whose seat it was. The guy said, "Yes, that's my wife's seat. We have never missed a game since the Lombardi days, but now my wife is dead. " The fan offered his sympathy and said it was really too bad he couldn't find some relative to give the ticket to so they could enjoy the game together... "Oh no," the guy said, "they're all at the funeral. "


A big-game hunter went on safari with his wife and mother-in- law. One evening, while still deep in the jungle, the Mrs awoke to find her mother gone. Rushing to her husband, she insisted on them both trying to find her mother. The hunter picked up his rifle, took a swig of whiskey, and started to look for her. In a clearing not far from the camp, they came upon a chilling sight: the mother-in-law was backed up against a thick, impenetrable bush, and a large male lion stood facing her. The wife cried, "What are we going to do? "
"Nothing," said the hunter husband. "The lion got himself into this mess, let him get himself out of it. "


Advertisement

Loading...

Link socials

Matches

Loading...