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Marfav
THE 5 STAGES OF LOVE (WHERE ARE YOU):
~7.8 mins read
If you’ve ever had the fortune (or misfortune) of being in love, you’ll
know that it’s NEVER a smooth ride. Every love has its fair share of ups and
downs.
One day, it can make you feel like it’s impossible for you to contain
your happiness but in the blink of an eye, it can leave you feeling completely
broken inside. As confusing as this sounds and as random as it feels, love can
actually be classified into 5 distinct stages.
If you want to understand love better, if you want to be less confused
about all the different feelings you experience, and if you want to find out if
your relationship has completed all 5 stages of love, then read ahead:
Stage 1: Falling in love
You meet this new person. You talk for a while but it just doesn’t feel
enough. You feel like there’s something more to this random meeting. So you ask
them out on a date. One date leads to a few more.
And every time you meet, you can’t help but think about how beautiful
they look when they smile, you can’t help but be amazed at the way their eyes
light up when they’re telling you something about their life, and you can’t
help but feel like this person might just be the one for you.
Everything changes around us when we fall in love—not physically, but
emotionally and spiritually—we see things differently, our temper becomes mild,
patience rises and imagination expands.
We try to imagine what the person would have done if they were in our
place, what they would be doing at the moment or if they would be thinking
about us too.
All of these changes won’t be seen in a dramatic way, not necessarily,
but you will feel them. You will the feel the pounding of your heart when you
see them, your confidence fluttering and your wish to be seen by them only.
Love can be desperate—it often is—but as soon as you cross the first
stage, you will find yourself in a more comfortable and happy place.
Falling in love will not only bring a positive change in your mood and
make you appreciate the little things in life, but also make you want to be the
best person, to be likeable.
You will work on yourself every minute of the day, and eventually leave
behind the things they do not like for the sole reason of falling in love.
Does this story sound familiar? If yes, then congratulations! You’ve
entered the very first stage of love. You’ve experienced how it feels to
actually fall for someone.
Stage 2: Coming closer as a couple
In stage two, your love starts to really grow. You start to feel like
the initial excitement, laughs, and romance are gradually evolving into a
deeper and even more meaningful connection.
This new person has taken over your life. They’re in your thoughts.
They’re in your dreams. They’re in your everyday life. And you realize that
your life no longer revolves entirely around your own self but it has started
to revolve around this new relationship as well.
The things you used to do alone now involve them too, even if they are
not present in the moment because your mind is always revolving around them.
The magical process of thinking about a person and missing them when
they are not around you starts in this stage. It does go on in other stages too
but is the strongest here, since all the feelings and emotions are new and so
is your interest in them.
‘Coming close as a couple’ means evolving as human beings in terms of
affection and understanding. This stage teaches us a lot of about love, life,
expectations and selfless happiness since our life starts revolving around
someone other than us.
It can be called the best stage of falling in love; the tickly feeling
of holding hands while walking, the wish to shower them with presents and cook
them their favorite food on a special day are all too magical.
A lot of couples agree that this stage of falling in love is indeed the
best and most pleasant one, and some are lucky enough to never get over this
stage which is no less than a dream.
This is the stage where some couples decide to move in together or even
get married. It’s the stage where both of you are extremely sure about
everything, where you feel that this love will definitely last a lifetime.
Stage 3: Getting disillusioned
All the confusion and uncertainty that accompanies love tends to be the
main theme of stage
3. This is the stage where one or sometimes both the partners start to
feel unsure about what direction their relationship is going to take.
They start to question whether they even made the right decisions in the
previous two stages. Although it is normal for human beings to be doubtful
about things, yet we feel bad for doubting the relationship that we thought was
so perfect.
We discover each other’s flaws and for some time, our mind unconsciously
concentrates on the flaws only, making us even more unpleasant a partner. But
that phase is replaced soon if the two people have the heart for it,
If they love each other enough to know the differences and respect them
because that is the only way relationships thrive this stage; unconditional
love, holding on to the good bits and remembering that person you love is more
than just their habits.
This is the stage where you feel like things are starting to fall apart
and where everything about this relationship starts to feel wrong, without any specific
reason. You find yourself getting angry and resentful about the smallest
things.
You feel like there’s very less love and intimacy left in your
relationship and you start to feel hopeless. All you want to do is bring back
the passion, the initial spark or just any kind of chemistry but you just don’t
know how to do it. But the key is in finding the way to do it.
A lot of talking helps in this stage—when things do not seem to go the
best way and the nature of the relationship is not as romantic as it used to
be—so talk. Getting disillusioned is not an impossible stage to deal with
although it sure is difficult.
Paying more attention to the good days you have spent with them, all the
happy places you have been to with them and all the times you have felt
comfortable in their arms is the way to move on from stage 3.
Passing stage three is not an easy task. Very few couples have the
potential to survive this stage but when they do, their relationship ends up
getting even stronger and they start to feel more in love than ever before.
Stage 4: Working on a true and lasting love
Once you pass the hard times of stage three, stage four acts as the
much-needed reward.
This stage begins once you’ve figured out the bottom cause of all the
conflict and pain in your relationship and are now working together to resolve
all your issues. The essence of resolving your issues lies in the ability to
understand that nobody in this world is perfect.
Your partner has lived their entire life with their own share of
insecurities, faults and imperfections and so have you, therefore it is in the
interests of both of you to accept those insecurities, faults and imperfections
and move on to lead a happy life with them.
From time to time, trying to make each other feel secure would be the
best thing to do, to not only make them feel better about themselves but also
to strengthen the relationship.
The fourth stage is actually the stage where you fall in love with their
imperfections, where you realize that they are not perfect, yet they are
perfect for you, that no one else will ever be this perfect for you.
When you want to work on building a true and lasting love, it is
necessary for you both to help each other grow, to help each other leave behind
all your fears, and to help each other heal all your past wounds.
Once this healing process starts for both of you, you’ll feel all the
love and passion start to enter your relationship again and you will know that
you have gotten over stage four, leaving behind any potential reasons to stay
away from each other.
Your love will grow stronger as you will work on a true and lasting love
every day by being there for each other in times high and low and by putting
your selfish interests behind to deal with each other’s problems.
That is how love has always survived and thrived and if yours does too,
it will be exemplary. Stage four will be when the rough, doubtful times will be
over, and you will have learned what love actually is.
Stage 5: Taking on the world with your love
The world is not an easy place to live in. There are times when you get
so caught up with all the stress at work, all the negative people who keep
bringing you down, all the problems that never seem to end, that you start to
lose hope.
But when you find and build a true and lasting love with someone, you
reach this final stage of happiness, this stage where no amount of negativity
and no amount of stress can ever bring you down. Because the only thing that
truly matters is the fact that you’ll always have this one amazing person by
your side.
They are the first thing you see in the morning and the last one at
night, and that becomes enough for you to remember whenever stress knocks on
your door. Life is all about ups and downs and can be pretty rough sometimes,
but if you have a hand to hold and a shoulder to lean on all the while, the
rough can become easy and the ups and downs both pleasant.
It cannot be denied that the power of two is greater than a unit, and
when the power of love combines with it, one can only imagine wonders taking
place. So when you have that person you think you can take on world with, hold
on to them, because you can do great things if you have the perfect amount of
love and appreciation with you—that is a fact.
The last stage of love is the first and happiest stage of a strong and
healthy relationship. It teaches you how every problem can be dealt with and
every hindrance cleared off with the power of love. Believing in each other and
never letting go is essence of all the five stages.
Thank you for reading!
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Marfav
21 SIGNS THAT YOU ARE IN THE RIGHT RELATIONSHIP
~3.4 mins read
Singles or would be couples these days are facing serious challenge to know whether they are in the right Relationship or not, that is very necessary and important considering so many relationship woes and heartbreak we are been confronted with everyday of our existence. But to know if one is in the right relationship isn't rocket science. Though not magical, it is very possible to know. As I always say, we can all be right if we do the right thing.
Consider the following checklist;
1. God's will. This is very key. Its not about your will but His. Whether you chose him or her and bring him or her to God or you pray through to receive, you must be sure you are doing His will. God still speaks, we must discover the way He communicates, he's a dynamic God. In knowing His will neutrality and objectivity is very key. Neutrality is simple " ladies close your legs" and guys "zip up". Objectivity is when you are not biased or don't have a predetermined answer. Your relationship must be God oriented. It is dangerous to go into an institution neglecting the institutor (Evang. Tunde Olufunde, 2020). Don't take that risk.
2. God is the center of it. This is more than praying, it is about obeying the commandments of God concerning Relationship. Abstinence is still very valid till eternity. Avoid premarital sex!
3. Sound conviction. This should be mutual. A situation where both partners are deeply convinced to be together. Conviction shouldn't be one sided.
4. Mutual love. Where love is not one sided.
5. Well defined. The Relationship has a goal which is Marriage. Many are still living in the world of assumption concerning their relationship, ladies especially. If he or she is not coming out straight or using delay tactics please don't assume. Move on to avoid time wasting, see if all you lose is things like money, property etc you can still rise up but when you lose your time, it is a big loss because whatever steals your time, stole your destiny (AJS 2020). So avoid time wasters like plague.
6. Mutual commitment to the Relationship.
7. Mutual respect of each others decision.
8. The caring is mutual and not one sided.
9. There is high level of understanding between them. They understand the place of leisure time and time for serious spiritual exercise.
10. They are ready to talk about anything; their past, present and future.
11. Agreement concerning the matter of sex and the need to wait.
12. Both have a picture of how their Marriage would be and can't wait to get started.
13. They carry their parents and other concerned people along and most importantly, their pastors for guidance and counseling.
14. They both love God. No pretense.
15. They are intentional about personal development. They grow together. They read books, they attend seminars, conferences and workshops together.
16. There is mutual trust, no cheating or side chicks.
17. The two love birds demonstrate mutual tolerance for each other.
18. There is mutual agreement on important issues eg number of children in marriage, matter of sex, finance, career, extended family management, friends management etc.
19. They both knows how to settle their issues amicably when there is mistake.
20. The two are best of friends. No secrets, transparency is the watchword.
21. They are both responsible.
Dear singles, take a look at all these signs if your Relationship is lacking all of these, then you have a lot to do. It's not too late to make the necessary adjustments. Have a good foundation to avoid stories that touches the heart. The journey starts now!
You know I love you. Stay safe for me please.
A more impactful and responsible relationship is possible.
STAY SAFE!
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