Indeed You alone know Yourself by Your internal potency O Supreme Person Origin of all Lord of all beings God of Gods Lord of the universe The Supersoul You are the Supreme Primal Objective You are the ultimate resting place of the universe You are inexhaustible and You are the oldest You are the maintainer of the eternal religion, the Personality of Godhead Oh master of the senses Oh Primal Lord O Limitless One God of Gods Refuge of the universe You are the invincible source The cause of all causes You are the knower of everything and all that is knowable You are the supreme refuge above the material modes O limitless form This whole cosmic manifestation is pervaded by You O unbounded power You are the master of limitless might You are all-pervading and thus You are everything Omniscient The ancient The Ruler of the whole world Minuter than the atom The supporter of all Of form inconceivable Effulgent like the Sun and Beyond the darkness There is nothing whatsoever higher than you You are the Sapidity in Water The Light in the Moon and the Sun You are the syllable OM in all the Vedas Sound in ether You are the Virility in men You are the sweet fragrance in earth and the brilliance in fire You are the life in all beings The austerity in the austere You are the eternal seed of all beings The intelligence of the intelligent You are the Splendor of the Splendid You are the Strength of the Strong Guest
Eluyinka Mercy

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Relationship Advice

The Best Relationship Advice I Ever ReceivedSheiresa NgoMORE ARTICLES
March 28, 2017

Get Ready To Read The Best Relationship Advice


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Relationship Advice
~4.8 mins read

The Best Relationship Advice I Ever Received

  • Sheiresa Ngo
  • MORE ARTICLES

  • March 28, 2017
    • Get ready to read the best relationship advice

    Get ready to read the best relationship advice | iStock.com

    Relationships are hard. They take a lot of dedication, focus, and work. Finding the right person to settle down with can often feel like a very frustrating game of chance. And even when you do find the right one, you’ll still have your work cut out for you as you make an effort to maintain your relationship.

    If you’re looking for a little guidance when it comes to love, you’ve come to the right place. The Cheat Sheet spoke with eight top relationship experts to get some of their best advice. So pull up a chair and read on for more.

    1. Take it easy

    The best relationship advice I’ve ever gotten, and that I give, is “easy does it.” Too often we get caught up in fear-based needs to control our partner. This pull becomes a destructive compulsion that corrodes the integrity of the relationship. It replaces respect and compassion with anger and resentment. It destroys the quality of our lives and over time, the relationship.

    This advice impacted the way I approach romantic relationships in that I allowed for a lot more space, which in turn allowed for less reactivity, more peace, happiness, and respect.  The classic struggle of all relationships is finding the right calculus in the togetherness-and-autonomy equation. Typically, when a relationship is under stress, one of the partners asks for physical space to break the tension. This is suboptimal. The best way to incorporate space is by being proactive and providing emotional rather than physical space. To do this, partners need to allow each other the space to be themselves and to have their experiences without trying to control the outcome or think that you are responsible for their lives and reaction. It’s hard work and takes practice, but the rewards are well worth the effort.

    Dr. Paul Hokemeyer, J.D. licensed marriage and family therapist and senior clinical adviser to Caron Ocean Drive.

     2. Give 90%
    Gail Saltz

    Gail Saltz | Source: Dr. Gail Saltz

    My parents advised what they did in their own marriage: “both of you always think about giving 90% to your partner and you both will be very happy.”  They meant it’s so important to think about how your partner is feeling, to stand in their shoes, to be giving and compromising, and emotionally generous. That 10% is for the understanding that sometimes it’s also OK to be a bit selfish, to place your needs first, or stand firm on something. They also made clear that this only works if you are both giving 90%.

    I just celebrated my 26th wedding anniversary. I definitely think about my spouse’s needs and feelings the majority of the time and try to be compromising. In return I feel he is 90% thinking of me and how to consider my feelings and be supportive and loving. Sometimes this means giving something up, but actually most times this means we both get what we want and we both feel very loved, supported, and that we are in each other’s corner. I don’t feel afraid to be giving, because he really has my best interests at heart. We are a terrific team and often we agree on what we want. And when we don’t, we tend to take turns supporting the other’s wants.

    Dr. Gail Saltz, is a clinical associate professor of psychiatry at New York Presbyterian’s Weill-Cornell Medical College.  She has partnered with Tylenol on the new #HowWeFamily program and national study to share more information about the modern American family. For more information visit HowWeFamily.com

    Relationship Are Not Hard Work

    Relationships Are Not Hard WorkA Common Phrase That Some People Say When Referring To Their Relationship And How They’ve Managed...
    Clinemmy Clinemmy 1.0k
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    Clinemmy
    Relationship Are Not Hard Work
    ~5.7 mins read
    Relationships are not hard workA common phrase that some people say when referring to their relationship and how they’ve managed to make it work and keep it together is â€œHard work…a lot of hard work. Relationships are hard work. You have to put in loads of hard work.”

    For them, that is true because they’re using an ineffective approach.

    For example: A guy takes his woman’s tantrums too seriously.

    He takes her tests too seriously.

    She starts testing his confidence by being a little bit difficult at times and he takes it too seriously.

    He takes it personally.

    He gets annoyed with her.

    He gets into arguments with her.

    Avoid creating an unnecessarily stressful relationship experience

    That’s an ineffective approach and it leads to a frustrating, stressful relationship.

    An effective approach that leads to an easy enjoyable relationship is to not take a woman’s tests seriously.

    Now, that’s not to say that a man shouldn’t take anything that his woman says seriously.

    Instead, what I’m saying is that when a woman is acting up and being a bit of a pain in the butt, teasing him, trying to put him down and make him feel insecure, a man doesn’t have to take that seriously.

    He doesn’t have to take it personally.

    He doesn’t have to get involved in the drama.

    He can laugh at her.

    He can turn it into a joke.

    He doesn’t have to take it seriously.

    Men who are in control in their relationship with a woman don’t take her BS seriously.

    I say BS because when many women are asked what type of guy they really want to be with and they list off qualities, they say things like, â€œA man who doesn’t take my BS seriously” or, â€œA man who doesn’t put up with my BS.”

    Now, that’s not to say that a man should treat his woman badly, put her down, get angry at her or anything like that.

    Instead, what I’m saying is that a man doesn’t always have to take a woman’s drama seriously.

    He doesn’t have to get dragged into drama.

    He can laugh at her for being a bit of a drama queen, or just for fun, he can briefly get involved in the drama and turn it into something for them to laugh about.

    He doesn’t have to take it as a personal attack.

    He doesn’t have to start getting emotional with his woman.

    He doesn’t have to put in loads of hard work and tiptoe around to her to hopefully not set her off, to hopefully not make her feel annoyed.

    He doesn’t have to take that approach to the relationship.

    He can take a much more relaxed approach and not take her BS seriously.

    For example: A bit of BS behavior from a woman where she doesn’t want her man to take it seriously, is if they’re deciding where to go and eat that night or what type of food to eat.

    He might suggest eating Chinese, or Indian, or something like that and then she might say something like, â€œYou always come up with stupid ideas. I don’t want to eat that. I hate Indian food. I hate Chinese food. Your ideas are stupid.”

    At that point, a man can get angry at his woman, get frustrated and get into a pointless argument with her and he will have a stressful, frustrating relationship.

    Alternatively, he can decide not to take her fake BS seriously.

    So, if he didn’t take it seriously, he get say jokingly something like this, â€œOkay then Miss Smartypants, what ideas have you got then?” or, â€œMy ideas are stupid. No, no, no. You don’t like Chinese food because you’re not cool. Only losers don’t eat Chinese food. You’re a little loser” or, â€œAlright, so you don’t want to eat Chinese, you don’t want to eat Indian, my ideas are stupid, okay. Well, how about this? Get your little butt in the kitchen and make some food. Make yourself useful.”

    Of course, when a guys says that to a woman, he’s only joking.

    He’s not saying it seriously and saying something like this.

    “Alright, well, get your butt in the kitchen then, make yourself useful!!!”

    He’s not being angry about it.

    He’s not getting into a pointless argument with a woman.

    You don’t need to get dragged into the fake drama that a woman is creating. You don’t have to take it seriously.

    Now, I just want to point out again here that I’m not saying that a man shouldn’t take a woman seriously in a relationship.

    There are times when a woman is being serious.

    There are times when a man has said or done something wrong that he should be taking seriously, he should apologize for, he should change and adjust, etc.

    That’s fine.

    Yet, when a woman creates unnecessary drama in the relationship and a man gets involved in that and then starts to worry about experiencing that type of drama again, his relationship can become a lot of hard work.

    He can get in to the habit of trying to not set her off, by tiptoeing around her and making sure that he’s saying all the right things, behaving in all the right ways to hopefully ensure that she doesn’t start creating any drama.

    He’s afraid of that in a way.

    He doesn’t want to have to experience that because it could result in her not want to have sex with him.

    It could result in her saying that she’s not going to cook anymore, or that she’s not going to clean and so on.

    He doesn’t want to annoy or like that.

    Therefore, his relationship becomes a lot of hard work because he’s taking her drama and her tests too seriously.

    He’s slowly letting her walk all over him and he’s losing his balls in the process.

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