1: TALK YOURSELF OUT OF BEING OFFENDED👍

It can be just that simple.

In the heat of the moment, try asking yourself these questions:

“What am i getting so angry for?

Does this really matter?

What’s the big deal?

Reason with yourself:

“Did he really mean it the way I was just about to take it?

Is he truly actually trying to hurt me?

Well, then, what is he really trying to say?”

Tell yourself the person who is the potential offender has as much right to his opinion as you do to yours.

Besides, they’re only words.

What can words do?

They certainly can’t break my bones!

Remember, the reason we usually feel offended is because of the meaning we attach to what is said or done:

@That means he really doesn’t care!”

“She’s saying I am no good!”

“I knew he didn’t really love me!”

“She wouldn’t say that if she was …” And so the internal interpretation goes.

So simply reframe it.

Talk yourself out of the offense by telling yourself:

“This person is simply expressing his opinion, and listen to how interesting it is!

I find it so fascinating that someone can have such opinions that are almost the exact opposite of mine!”

You will be happier as you learn to talk yourself out of offense and internalize the sticks-and-stones-may-break-my-bones-but-words-will-never-hurt-me philosophy of communication.

#2: PUT YOURSELF IN THE “OFFENDER’S” SHOES👍

This will have the added benefit of being less offensive to others, as you learn to be “too noble to give offense.”

In any event, if you can slide your feet into their place for a minute, you can learn to see things from the offender’s perspective.

And then, just maybe, you will see that you too played a role in the drama.

And perhaps you will also come to see that the offender had no such intentions of offending.

#3: ASSUME A GOOF INTENTIONS OR MOTIVES👍

Unless proven otherwise assume the person in question has noble intent.

Maybe the language was clumsy, maybe even ill-advised, but assume a good heart.

That should take the sting out of the bite and put some happiness back in your day.

So don’t hold on to the words people use to get at the thing they are trying to express.

Hear the idea and ignore the clumsiness of the expression.

#4: PRACTICE DETACHMENT👍

Many people are easily offended because they can’t emotionally differentiate between their thoughts and their inner sense of self.

When identities are too closely tied to one’s opinions, and those opinions are then disagreed with, many feel like they, themselves, have been rejected,

That is because the core of who they are have been offended

This, of course, hurts, but is highly inaccurate.

To overcome hypersensitivity, realize that your opinions are not you.

And certainly, any given opinion or set of opinions are not the whole of who you are.

To the degree you can detach your ideas from your identity, you will live a happy, fulfilling life with little opportunity to feel offended.

#5: LEARN HUMILITY👍

First try to stop and think if, in fact, you may have said or done something that could have given the impression of an offense to the other person

That, by itself, is a great attitude of humility that would make you almost immune to offense.

You will be surprised sometimes how often you will found that you had indeed said something that could have been misunderstood as offensive.

#6: LOVE TRUTH MORE THAN BEING RIGHT👍

If the truth, whoever possesses it, is more valued than the perception that you are the one who knew it first, then opposition to your thoughts and beliefs will be inoffensive no matter how offensive the other person is trying to be.

You are not emotionally attached to your position.

You only looking after truth.

So opposition to your point of view offers no grounds for offense.

You simply want to know the truth.

#7: OVERCOME SELF-CENTEREDNESS👍

The It’s-All-About-Me mentality is fertile soil for being frequently offended.

Every word out of every mouth, every action or inaction, all that is done or undone, all motives and intentions become a reflection on you.

That is a HUGE burden to carry.

If everything is reduced to how it affects you, if you reside at the center of everything, no wonder you are so frequently offended! Move away from the center of everyone else’s life.

You likely aren’t really there anyway. Nor should you be, in most cases. Allow most of life to be indifferent to you.

My bad mood isn’t about you.

Your mom’s neglect isn’t even about you either.

It’s about her!

This way, less in life will offend you and happiness will be much less fleeting too.

Besides, they’re entitled to their opinion. So let them have it … cheerfully!

#8: RESERVE JUDGMENT👍

Finish the discussion.

Let the talk continue to its natural end.

So often we jump to conclusions, assume an ill intent, create meaning to a word that then hurts and offends.

Resist that urge and delay judgment until the conversation has run its course.

You just may find there is no offense to be had by the time you get to the end.

#9: ACCEPT IMPERFECTION👍

If you expect others to act and speak a certain way, or assume others will be as kind or compassionate as you, if you’re offended when they don’t rise to the level of your expectation, you will almost always be offended or on the verge of it.

Instead, allow people to be human. They are, after all.

So just let it be, shrug and let it slide off your back

Release! Let go! Breathe. Relax.

Part of accepting others’ imperfections is also learning to forgive them their past mistakes and

create a sort of Forgiveness Default Setting in your heart

(so the current problem isn’t blown out of proportion as an extension of a previous problem unresolved)

Remember, people are imperfect. You are imperfect. Life is imperfect. And that’s just plain A-Okay! When you can accept their imperfection (and your own!)

#10: ACCEPT YOURSELF👍

accept where you are along that path.

You could hardly be anywhere else, given circumstances, after all.

So accept yourself deep inside. Validate your inner being.

See yourself as more than your behavior.

You are also your potential.

This self-acceptance will de-claw others’ ability to offend you.

It won’t hurt because your validation doesn’t come from their opinions about you.

It comes from within … or from above.

People who are internally fragile – no matter how “tough” their exterior – break most easily at the wrong or misplaced word or deed.