JUDGE: Gentleman, are you guilty or not guilty?

KUNLE: My Lord, I’m not guilty.

JUDGE: How come you were arrested and brought before the court for stealing a goat?

KUNLE: My Lord, I was just passing by Mr. Darlington's house and I saw a very big rope tied to a tree. I said to myself, "maybe the tree is trying to commit suicide," so I rescued the tree and took the rope home. My Lord… I swear I didn’t realise there was a goat tied to the rope until now!

The Judge freed Kunle.

(2) Dead Promise

An accident occurred today, 11 persons were injured, 12 died. So the Minister of Health promised to offer N5,000 to the injured and N6million to the dead for their funeral.

One of the injured got up and laid where the dead were...

One of the dead shouted, "Bros, go back to your place, do not bring confusion here, they have counted us already!"

(3) Do You Have Any proof?

A man went to his lawyer and told him, "My neighbour owes me $500 and he won’t pay up. What should I do?"

"Do you have any proof he owes you the money?" asked the lawyer.

"Nope," replied the man.

"OK, then write him a letter asking him for the $1,000 he owed you," said the lawyer.

"But it’s only $500," replied the man.

"Precisely. That’s what he will reply and then you’ll have your Proof!"

(4) Honourable Senator

A man was taken to court for calling a Honourable Senator a Pig. He was a first offender and the judge was in a good mood and decided to show mercy. So he discharged him after warning him to desist from unguarded utterances in future.

The man removed his cap and thanked the benevolent judge profusely, ''Thank you, your lordship. Honestly sir, I didn't know it was wrong to call a Honourable Senator a pig. I won't do it again. I am sorry.''

''It's okay'', said the judge, ''you may go.''

''My lord, may I ask a question, sir?''

''Feel free'' answered the judge.

''Now I know it's wrong to call a Honourable Senator a Pig. But is it also wrong to call a Pig Honourable Senator?''

Amused, the judge replied, ''I don't know why you would want to address a pig as a senator. But I don't think the pig would mind. It's not unlawful, by the way. Yes, you can call any pig Honourable Senator.''

The man smiled and nodded, then he turned to look pointedly at the Senator and said, ''Goodbye, Honourable Senator.''

(5) 3 Heavy Slaps

A Man went to the Police station in Lagos to report a robbery incident...

MAN: I was robbed to at gun point!

POLICE: What happened?

MAN: Someone snatched my wallet. I was about to shout "thief" when 3 heavy slaps landed on my face. I didn't see anything for 30 minutes except stars!

POLICE: Can you describe the stars?

(6) How To Save A Life

I just saved a life today on my way out. I asked a beggar how he would feel if l gave him N1000?

He replied "Oga, 

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