2)Who knows where to get abørtion pills? my Dog 🐕 is pregnant for my wicked neighbor's Dog 🐕 and I don't want to have that idiot as my in-law 😂😂😂

3) If you have a crush on someone, hide it very well because the moment you tell them, they will start acting like deputy Jesus.🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

4)So my brother broke up with his girlfriend yesterday because he saw a man driving her car. We later investigate and find out it wasn't a man, she just took off her wig..😂😂😂😂😂🤣🤣🤣😂😂

5) Playing with kids is too stressful, imagine she started crying 😭 because I refuse to eat crayon

🙄🙄🤣🤣🤣

6)sister!!...If you have flat boobs, flat yansh and even flat chest.. Congratulations 🤝 my sister your three bedroom flat is complete..😄😄😄😄😄😄

7)In those days you have to open panties to see girl's

 Buttocks but nowadays you have to open the Buttocks to see the panties....🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄

8)Gone are those days when football is watched by cheering fans.. Nowadays is watched by terrified gamblers..🤷🤷🏃🏃🏃🏃🏃🏃🏃

9)A drunk man enter female toilet by mistake..

A woman inside scream.. "This is for ladies!!"

The drunk man also replied "Hold this d!ck is also for ladies too.. Hahaha.🤣🤣🤣🤣

10)*When am drunk, I become very alert before crossing the road.. I look left and right for cars and bikes, Then I look up for Aeroplanes and down for bombs, I look back for kidnappers and after that I hold my beer tight and walk zigzag to avoid bullets..*

Don't joke with a drunkard...😅😅😅

11)Igbo guys advertising casket will be like.. "Oga buy this one. Fiammm your mama don reach Heaven🤷😒😒😒

12)An unlucky person is the one been born on February 29th, your birthday comes like World Cup tournament, once in every four years....hmmm. lemme run b4 the victim støne me.🏃🏃🏃

13)The moment you went to find a job only to discover that the CEO of the company is your Ex.🙆😱 That is when you will know why maths has been telling you to find the value of (X) 😅😅😅

14) I thought I have seen it all until i saw a man eating eba with hand gloves 🧤 😳😳 if I tell you who the man is. it will be like I hate Yoruba pple.eeee who støne me..😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😄

16)I had a dream that the person reading this post refuse to like and comment, and they lost their phone..

🤷🤷😂

 Cutie 🥰, I just made you happy, I pray God touch your heart to add or follow this profile for more interesting jokes 🙏👉 stitches 🥰😘🤪

God bless you 🤍

EPISODE 8

On the seventh day, he decided to go to Ikeja. The joint

was close to Isheri. Far from where he lived. As usual, he

ordered for malt drinks while he observed the activities

going on in the bar. The music of Fela Anikulapo titled

‘Lady’ was playing loudly. He swayed his body gently to

the music. A middle-aged man with a grin approached.

‘Welcome, oga,’ the man greeted.

Tope nodded at him.

The man pulled a chair and sat close to him. ‘In case you

need a lady, let me know. I can get you any category you

want.’

Tope instantly became interested. ‘Such as?’

‘We have sweet sixteen, young ladies, matured ladies and

sex mamas.’

Tope grinned. He had virtually had all the categories

except sweet sixteen. He hoped she would not be under-

aged. ‘Alright, get me sweet

sixteen,’ he said.

The man smiled and went off. A minute later, a girl came

to him. She was dark, and – like many other ladies there

– wore skimpy clothes.

She could be between seventeen and twenty. Tope

nodded.

‘Good evening,’ the girl greeted. ‘Mind if I sit?’

He smiled at her. ‘Please, have your seat,’ he told her.

She sat by his side.

‘What’s your name?’ he asked. He had not been asking

others that but he felt like asking this one.

‘Rita,’ she said.

Another Rita, his mind said. She was probably not giving

him her real name. He shrugged.

‘Do you want some drinks?’ he asked.

She shook her head. ‘Business first.’

He smiled at her. He liked that business-mindedness.

‘How much d’you charge?’

She gave him different packages and options.

He nodded. So, if I want to take you overnight, how

much?’

She told him. He nodded. He might as well take her home.

‘I’ll take you overnight. What drinks d’you want?’

‘Small stout,’ she said.

He grinned and ordered for the drinks.

‘How old are you?’ he asked.

She shook her head. ‘I’m not supposed to get personal

with you,’ she answered.

‘I like your English,’ he commented.

‘Thanks.’ She looked at him seriously. ‘Before I follow

you, you will have to pay me half of the money.’

He grinned. ‘That will be no problem.’ He brought out the

money and handed it to her.

As if by magic, the man that had first approached him

came to meet the lady. She smiled and counted off some

money to him. He

disappeared again.

Some minutes later, he stood up and she followed him. His

car was an old model Honda Accord. They entered the

car and he drove off.

Fifteen minutes later, they were at his mini flat at Ogba.

‘Welcome to my humble place,’ he said.

‘It’s a nice little place,’ she replied.

They might as well take their time, he reasoned. He

switched on the television and played a DVD movie. ‘Do

you want anything?’ he asked.

She shook her head.

‘Come and sit by my side,’ he asked her.

She did as she was told.

‘Am I allowed to be romantic with you?’ he asked.

‘Romantic in what way?’

‘Romantic such as kissing you.’

She smiled and shrugged. ‘You’re free.’

He nodded. His used his left hand to wrap her shoulders.

It was as if she was waiting for that. She snuggled up to

him and put her right

hand on his lap.

‘You’re pretty,’ he commented.

She smiled again. ‘Thank you.’

He kissed her. It was a soft kiss, but it soon became deep.

His right hand moved down from the shoulder to her

chest. He placed it on her

left b----t and squeezed it. He removed her top and red

bra. Her b-----s, just as he expected, looked fresh and

firm. He caressed them

and used his to tongue to play with the n-----s. The

n-----s were erect. She moaned to encourage him on.

‘Let’s go inside.’ He took her to the bedroom and switched

off the light. His mouth went to her b-----s again. She

unzipped his trousers

and fondled his private organ. It was now solidly hard.

Then he remembered that he had brought her for a

purpose and must not allow

passion to carry him away.

‘What style d’you want?’ she asked.

‘Doggy,’ he answered.

‘Okay.’ She removed her mini skirt and pantie. Her p---y

was completely wet as she was fully ready for him. She

knelt on the bed on all

four while he stood and placed her bum close to his d--k.

He tried to enter her from behind and realized that her

p---y was a little bit tight.

‘Wait, let me use lubricant.’ She brought the gel out and

rubbed it on her v----a. The next attempt he made to

enter her was easy and

smooth. He moved rhythmically while she wiggled and

moaned. It must be part of the job. His hands reached

for her boobs and he

alternated between handling them and holding her waist.

He closed his eyes as he surfed Fantasy Island. He

realized that of all the sex he

had been having in the last six days, this was the most

enjoyable. He withdrew just before he released and

spilled his semen on her bum.

He then picked his trousers and went to the bathroom/

toilet. From the back pocket, he removed a white

handkerchief to complete his

unholy act.

Seconds later, she too went to the bathroom to freshen

up. He was lying on the bed in his boxer shorts when she

returned. She was still

Unclad and he could see that she had a great figure. She

came to lie by his side. He suddenly remembered that he

was asked to sleep only

once with each of the lady he had picked for the day.

Would doing it the second or more time not portend

danger? He was not sure, but it was better he took

precaution. He decided he would

not take on ‘Rita’ again. He would just caress and handle

her.

‘Are you tired already?’ she asked.

He smiled. ‘I don’t think so.’

‘Alright. Let’s do it again, this time slowly.’

‘No. Let me not bother you.’

She seemed surprised. ‘Bother? I’m here so that you can

bother me.’

‘No more sex,’ he said, ‘but I’ll play with you.’

She shrugged. ‘As you like it.’

Just as he said, he did not have further intercourse with

her, despite her prodding. When she saw his erection, she

smiled.

‘Perhaps you prefer a hand job or a Mouth Gig,’ she

suggested.

‘Hand job,’ he muttered.

She removed the gel from her handbag and rubbed it on

her palm. She then rubbed his d--k the way she had

learned to do it. He responded

with delightful moans. While she worked on his d--k, his

hands gleefully fondled her boobs. After some minutes,

he came again.

Early the following morning, he paid her the full balance

and even added transport fares. She was surprised at his

generosity. Before she

finally left, she gave him her number in case he needed

her service again.

After she had gone, Tope called the real Rita. ‘The second

test is completed,’ he announced, almost proudly.

TBC