Betrayal trauma might sound strange to you. Yes, someone has broken your trust, has made you look and feel like a fool in private or in the public eye, and now, everything isn't right. You are not yourself, you are wounded, you have lost trust in people and do not know if you will trust again. Well, the name of that situation is simply Betrayal trauma. Let us define it. 

Betrayal trauma refers to that heart and headaches that cause distress, that restlessness that plunges you into a dark space. Of course, this is an after effect of a trusted person's betrayal which in this case is a romantic partner. Now the entirety that even makes it trauma and not just betrayal is that total dependence that meant protection and support of you from this person leaving you no space to see the betrayal coming. 

So yes, it has happened and anxiety, depression, self-doubt, and physical and emotional unrest are knocking and no, they won't wait for a "come in" before they find their way in and you don't want that. You don't want to waste your energy on something that is broken, you have to move on. How do you do that? By healing. 

Here is how to heal:

 

- First off, accept the situation. 

Yes, not blocking or hiding it away from remembrance is the very first step to healing for everyone no matter the kind or level of betrayal. You have to accept that it happened. 

- Secondly, recognize and live through the emotions

If you do not define something, you would be at risk. The reason is you will not know how to deal with it. Take, for example, a car. If you do not know that it is a car, you will not know how to go about it. So if anger, criticism of self, regret, and their sisters come, give them their appropriate names and watch just how you will survive through it best. 

- Lean on people. 

This just might sound wrong to you but calm down, not everyone is out to betray you as your current mind state believes. But be careful not to talk to gossipers which I am sure you can recognize over the years. Talking and leaning on that parent, brother, best friend, pet animal or even a total stranger can help you heal emotionally. 

- Focus on yourself intently. 

Be intentional about it. Eat, You were betrayed not killed, you have to survive, you have to fill that space that the loved one has left a void and by filling, you don't just do rubbish, you do something profitable. watch your favorite movies, enjoy walks, run, paint, join a class, further your education, do something on your bucket list, learn to trust again, and just do what you love that you know makes you happy. Pamper yourself. 

In all, you can beat this and yes, if talking to therapists is your thing, you should see one. They are professionals and trust me, you will not be the first person with this case on their desk or the last that they deal with. 

It is a cold night here. It has been since the break of day and in a way, it is enjoyable. It is by far better than the merciless heat that will descend on us come October in this part of the African world. I am not looking forward to it.

With unstable weather comes different strange thought like the one in my head right now.

If you are Christian or not, you will have sung or must have heard a song with the lyrics” I will never go back to Egypt, the land of sorrows, I will never go back to it…” And it goes on with many beautiful words.

So, while this song was playing in my head over and over again till it found its way to my mouth and I started singing it out loud, I began to wonder.

The people of Egypt, the very current generation, how do they feel? Imagine someone calling your father’s land, your nation that you pride in, your beloved country that you will probably die for a land of sorrows😬😬?

I am Nigerian and there are so many things going on in this country that makes me want to run from it. Yes, I would laugh, tease and mock our government and country as loud and bold as I dim fit but if someone else does that, worse, calling it a land of sorrows, I would not be cool with it.

Tell me, how would you feel? I will like to know.🙊🙊