​I am a good girl.

I am a good girl.

I am a good girl.

I don’t know who I was trying to convince- God, myself or the world.

But I was, fairly decent, my language was clean. Straight A student, I didn’t go for wild parties, Or get into ‘untoward’ situations with guys in dark corners.

My past times included reading, a lot! 

Beating other people at scrabble and being a member of a Christian dance club.

I went for confessions and I went for mass.

I gossiped but well, you know. I was fairly popular (it’s my size ?). I didn’t get my first kiss till my 300L and I didn’t spiral from there.

I was a good girl.

I graduated. Sigma Cum Laude. Biochemistry. I was a good girl.

Then I got pregnant and was still unmarried and entered the amazing world of Single motherhood stereotypes…

I heard colourful names. from friends & family too. I would repeat but this is a decent post.

I remember this guy who I liked a lot had gone to introduce me to his mom. She loved me, we were friends, She made me large pot of vegetable soup and served me 2 huge choice pieces of goat meat, she called me “my wife” and declared me a fitting addition to her family, then I mentioned my son, a day & a half into the one week stay and suddenly I was an ‘ashawo’ who would not look for her mate to marry, Ugly old woman who was sent out of the house.

it didn’t matter that by world standards, I was a good girl.

There is a stereotype, an immediate ‘nose raising’, the judgemental stare when you fill out the school form and your name is different from your son’s. I used to notice, I used to worry about it a lot and I used to try my hardest to show folks that I was a good girl.

I’d kiss ass & praise friends who accepted Me for “Who I was”.. the ones who didn’t “eyah” and whose next question wasn’t “sorry oh, I am sorry for asking oh, but why didn’t you marry your baby daddy?” it didn’t matter that they were thinking it. I was a good girl, and if I worked hard enough and kissed ass long enough perhaps everyone would see that I was a good girl, albeit a single Mother.

Then one day, it didn’t matter what you thought or why you thought, My lips grew numb and became averse to kissing ass and I didn’t need to prove anything to anyone.

Maybe I was a terrible sinner, Maybe I was an ashawo, Maybe I didnt give a fvck what anyone labeled me.

I was Ized. Papi’s Mother and proud.

That day was the beginning of the rest of my so far so amazing life.

I remember Today, because I talked to a single mom, I saw the efforts on reflex, the eagerness to explain her side of the story. she went to church, she loved him.. she just went on and on..

I stopped her & told her you better start loving yourself and stop explaining yourself,

Those who need your explanations don’t matter and those who matter don’t need it.

Be Unapologetically You.

Be Amazing.

Be your best Cheerleader

Self Love is a thing, an important thing. Soon as you decide that, you stop watching people and wondering if they are judging you because sometimes they are not, they are just curious… and even if they are…

Jana Tyler and her friends were hanging out in the woods.  The drinking age was twenty-one, so each kid had to bring a case of beer to hang out.  Jana did not have an older sibling, so she had to get creative with how she got beer.

Jana knew that if she asked an older person to get beer, they may ask her for something in return.  She had given lots of blow jobs and on a few occasions she had sex.  Most of the men just wanted blow jobs.  Jana was fine with whatever they asked.  She always pretended to be a good girl but she was actually a slut.

She tried to look for men because they were the easiest to persuade.  Older men who were the grandfather types were the ones who liked a cheap thrill.  Guys who were twenty-one liked blow jobs.

Jana was used to sexual favors for beer.  She was on the lookout for a candidate to buy her beer.  It was a slow day but eventually an older attractive man walked towards her.  She would ask him nicely and stick out her big boobs.  For a teenager Jana had a nice body. 

“Mister could you buy me a case of beer?”

“How old are you dear?”

“Eighteen but the drinking age is twenty-one.”

“Are you sure you are eighteen?  I think you are seventeen at best.”

“Okay.  Seventeen.”

“Does your mother know you are asking strangers to buy you beer?”

“No.  But when you were young, didn’t you do things your family did not know about?”

“I guess so.  What kind of beer do you want?”

“Heineken?”

“You can give me the money when I come out.”

Jana wondered what he would ask for.  He looked like he would want something from her.  Jana liked sex and it was easy to do and she was always able to get beer for her and her friends.  They often wondered how she always got beer.

The man came out with two cases of beer.  She wondered why he had bought two.  She knew he would ask for something.  She wondered if it would just be a blow job or if he would want sex too.

He was decent looking.  She would have sex if he asked.  She would play it incredibly surprised and prudish if he did indeed want something.  She would come off virginal but in all reality she was basically a slut.

The man walked pass Jana and put the cases into his car.  He slammed the trunk and looked at Jana who seemed mad that he was not going to give her the beer.  She wondered what he was after.

“Can I have my beer?”

“Girly, it is my beer.  I paid for it.  If you hop in my car, maybe we can work out a deal.”

“I have the money.  You said you would buy it and I said I had the money to give it to you.”

“Yea, but I could go to jail for buying beer for a minor.  You wouldn’t want me to go to jail?”

“Of course, I do not want you to go to jail.  I will go with you and you will give me the beer.  Is there something you want from me.?

The man smirked and opened the door for Jana.  He had heard about Jana at the pub where he drank.  A bunch of men talked about some teenager that begged for beer in exchange for blow jobs and or sex.  He was on a hunt to find her.

Jana sat in the car and the man got on his side of the car.

“Where are you and your friends partying?  The beer is heavy so I will drive you to where you are going?”

“The woods.”

“I will take you there after we do our trade.  I really want to see your tits.  You have a nice body for a teenager.  They are screaming for me to see them.  Aren’t you wearing a bra?  I could see those tits a mile away.  Baby, you are one hot little lady.”

“Mister, do you want to fuck?  I really want to get to the woods and be with my friends.”

“I bought two cases of beer.  One case will be for a blow job.  The other case will be for a fuck.  Are you game girly girl?”

“Sure.  After that, you will take me to my friends?”

“A deal is a deal.  Are you game girly?  I know a secluded little spot.  Afterwards, I will drive you to your party in the woods.”

He was so horny and wanted to see her in action. He had heard she was a good cock-sucker.  A few of the guys at the pub said she even drank their cum.  He was excited to empty his dick in her.  She was a wet dream.  She had a great body which was making him hard as a bat.  He could not wait to get started with the hussy.

The man opened his door and got out of his car.  He unzipped his pants and pulled them down and got back into the car.

“Go on girly girl.  Suck on my rod.  Show me what a little whore you are.”

“Can we go outside.

  I want to give you a proper blow job.  It’s too confined in the car.”

“Fine.”

The man got out and leaned against his car.  Jana dropped to her knees.  She held his cock in her hand and opened her mouth.  Her mouth was warm and wet while she fed it down her throat.

“Fuck!  I knew you were a little whore.  You love my dick, don’t you?”

Jana shook her head while she enjoyed his cock.  She would give him the best blow job.  She had sucked many cocks and became good at it.  All the men she had been with complimented her cock-sucking skills.

Jana continued to work on his cock.  She took it as far down as she could stomach.  The man began to thrust his hips while he thrusted his cock into her mouth.  She made the usual sucking noises.  He felt like he was going to blow his load but wanted to fuck her pussy.  He had heard she had a tight pussy.  He wanted to make sure to fuck her.

“Get undressed, I want to fuck your cunt now.”

“Fine.”

Jana took her shirt off.  He knew she was not wearing a bra.  The man could not believe the breasts on her.  They were huge for a teenager.  She unzipped her shorts and pulled down her panties.  She stood there naked.  The man was pulling on his cock while watching Jana undress.

“Bend over honey.  Man, you have a nice ass too.  I’m so hard looking at you.”

“Let us get going.  Fuck me man.  I want to get to the party.”

Jana bent over and the man pushed his cock up inside of Jana’s pussy.  He was surprised how wet her cunt was.  He figured she was turned on by his big cock.  She was a great cock-sucker and now he would see what a whore she was.  She seemed to enjoy fucking.

She moved her body which was exciting to the man.  He thrusted her pussy hard while playing with her huge tits.  Jana moaned while he drilled into her pussy.

“Tell me how much you love my cock.”

“Fuck me with your big dick.  Come inside of me mister!”

Jana liked how big his dick was.  She played the part and moaned and groaned while he fucked her pussy hard.  She was really enjoying herself.  He knew she was aroused because her pussy was dripping wet from his cock hitting her g-spot.  He held her big tits in his hands while pounding on her teenage pussy.

“Fuck! I want to cum down your throat.  I’m pulling out of your sweet pussy.”

The man pulled out and Jana went back to her knees.  She opened her mouth and the man moaned while he shot a load of cum into her mouth.

“Swallow my cum!  Show me how much of a bad girl you are.”

“Jana swallowed his thick cream.  When she was done, she showed him her tongue.”

“Wow!  You are slutty.  Do you know you are a legend around here?  All the old-timers you have blown talk about you at the pub in town.  I had to see if you were as slutty as the stories, I have heard about you.”

“Really?  People talk about me?”

“Yes.  They say you are a good cock-sucker.  You are a good fuck too.  Should I tell the boys you like to fuck too?  I could buy your beer and you would not have to fuck anymore men.  You could just fuck me.”

Jana was amazed that the old men spoke about her.  She did not realize how many blow jobs she had given out.  She wanted to work something out with the man.

“We could work something out.  How about a case of beer every week for a roll in the hay?  Sound good?”

“Baby that sounds amazing.  Next time we will go to my house.  I want to have sex with you in a bed.”

“Sure.  Can you take me to the woods where my friends are now?”

“Of course.  Let us get dressed and you can take the two cases.  A deal is a deal.  My name is George.  Who are you dear?”

“Nice to meet you George.  Jana is my name.”

The odd couple got dressed and Jana explained to him where her party was.  He drove her to the woods.  He took out the two cases and put them on the grass.

“Would you like me to carry them for you?”

“No.  I do not want my friends to know what I did for the beer.  Just leave the one case there and I will have one of my friends get it.  Do you have a phone?  I’ll give you my number and we can arrange for next week’s case.”

They couple exchanged numbers.  He smiled at Jana.  He could not believe she accepted his proposal.   He would buy her beer and she would be his slut.  It was a dream come true for the old man.  He finally met a proper slut.  He would train her well.