I have always wondered which Homosapien coined the words "horny" and "boner". It never made sense. The male thing is not a rod of calcium, not a horn and not a bone. It took me just one night to discover the truth.

There are places in Udi that the innocent should never find, places that corrupt even a dove . You go in white with preened feathers and come out all besmirched with the dirtiest dirt. I passed it everyday on my way to school, watching as the muezzins call out prayers in the early evening and the goldsmiths grin their white teeth in garish contrast with their melanin. It was like a Mini Kano with fulani everything. This is where you found the Daughters of Jezebel.

When you hear such names like that, know you are in for trouble. Sweet trouble, if you're a bad guy with money. You only had to pay 5k for a glorious fuck. Rich guys patronised these women. I imagined a future where I had enough money to spend on the bosom of these women, the fuller ones; to splurge on the twerk of their mountainous behinds for the fun of it while stirring up sweet things in my loins. These were stupid thoughts and I wanted them but Desire is one thing and Action is another.

Poposki was the catalyst. A long thin boy who bent with the wind like a feather. He was the typical good boy in class. Always did his homeworks, always answered questions, always gave a good joke and always stared and stared. He stared at Emem, at Idara, at Nkoyo, even gorrilla Uyai. I had always wondered why such a name was given to that girl. Uyai meant beauty. But she was Ugly. So Ugly, I had to add the pre-word Damn most times. I believe her parents were blind when they named her or maybe they hoped the name would change her face somehow; like a drug to cure ugliness.

If there was one thing she had, it was fullness front and back. She knew this was her only chance to attract man-prey, so she used it, swaying it to and fro while our hearts longed for a touch of her butt apples. I was one of the few who were not interested, her face was scary enough. So while all the guys could have her — the easiest fish to catch; I could not, I did not want to and that is why I asked Poposki for help.

We strolled by Udi one evening and I opened up to him about how I felt like I needed to lay a woman. How I needed it badly.

"Orr..at last, " he chuckled

 I told him one of those daughters of Jezebel would be perfect for me and he agreed. So I made preparations for the evening of my disvirgining. I got a loan of 4k from a friend. I was not a rich boy and I squatted with Poposki and his naughty friends. The 1k I had was saved up after starving myself during the week; 010 regimen. I had all the tools now: a male thing, 5k, advice from Poposki on the right method and skill and vicious lust.

Popiski knew how to get to daughters. It was a knowledge only the informed knew. These lust goddesses did not parade themselves for business although they hid in plain sight. Some even wore Fulani shawls, covering their eyes and chanting Allah. But Poposki knew their language and he hooked me up with a client.

I was blinded with a cloth on my way in.One of the precautions the daughters took, then they left me at the door that read:

"Anything you want."

This is where the word boner comes in. I had one instanta. I saw the assorted types of women I could choose from. Long, wide, petite, fresh, succulent. Name it.

Then I chose one. The petite.

" Careful boy," one of the women said, she is a tiger.

Me, boy, I said, chuckling. I will show her, don't worry.

I was surprised at how much lust gave me the courage to speak such things. It was strange to me and I loved it.

We went in to the room and the doors were closed. As it began, the next words came in superlative terms; the ones the Homosapiens call horny. I was a horn that became hornier by the minute. At that moment, I was the bonest of them all. I could feel my male thing shoot forth like the branch of an Iroko tree and I swear when I touched it, it was bone. Harder than bone. It was a brown cylindrical horn with a red capping, growing still. I smiled, half-believing, the Homosapien was right.

Old Roger,  a cranky farmer with more bones than flesh approached the Townskeeper,  Sir Walter. It is hard to see an old man cry for surely almost every thing in the world at that age must be disinteresting. But here was a man weeping. It was no dream for I was there. I do some work for Mr Walter like an alternate for an alternate assistant. It's complicated because people never take up jobs like Townskeeping as seriously. The pay is only 5 oinks,  which can barely support anyone. I got much less,  because I was alt....you know it. I watched as the weeping old man began his tale, his eyes trailing from Sir Walter to me. 

A twister from the Southern wing had laid waste to his farm,  the only legacy he had left. The only thing that kept his family going. 

So? said Sir Walter

"It was no ordinary storm" he huffed. " It must be some magic. The skies in Lore never go dark this time of the year. I have lived a 80 and something years to know it. "

Sir Walter held out a quill, scribbling notes on his woodpad. Sometimes listening and most of the time not listening,  his eyes trailing off to the ceiling or the sandy grounds of the shed or to a butterfly or any petty trivial thing that caught his fancy. Old men were almost always half-insane from his experience. 

He had come all the way from Lore, the out skirts of our large city. When I say it like that it almost seems like a stone-throw away but something serious must be happening for an old man to undertake such a perilous journey for this complaint. The man was either one who loved travel to far away cities, a novice who thought reporting issues like this to a Townskeeper would provide some help or a delusional helpless soul. 

"Poisoned," he continued. The whole area is poisoned.They're all dead. I am lucky to be alive. 

Sir Walter regained his attention and I had a start. I could feel my heart race its way to my mouth. 

I have a message he said,  in a voice that was not quite his. 

Su'ukedi

Those were his last words as he fell to the ground. Pale,  Dead and rapidly decaying.