Gronkowski Hits Electrotherapy Machine On Sidelines To Help Keep Brain Loose

CHICAGO—Strapping his head in after struggling with tightness and dissociation on the last drive, Tampa Bay Buccaneers tight end Rob Gronkowski hit the electrotherapy machine during Thursday night’s game to help keep his brain loose while he was on the sidelines. “It’s not too bad when I’m focused on the field, but the second I sit down, I can feel my temporal lobe knot up,” said Gronkowski, who noted that his tunneling vision cleared up as the 10-amp electrical current coursed through his cerebellum. “It can be tough on long drives because after five minutes I start to forget the entire playbook, so it’s good to get the neurons firing again. It doesn’t fix all the mood swings or anything, it just keeps me warm and remembering what city I’m in. But with all this talking and looking at things, I still know I’m gonna be laid up icing my brain for days.” At press time, a blocking Gronkowksi had leveled two defenders after mistaking them for a 10-foot demon and Patriots coach Bill Belichick.