Hey, before you come for my head, kindly read to the last letter, 

My heart goes out to the single mothers, single ladies might include themselves where need be. But to the single mothers, I applaud you for the wonderful job you doing and the energy to keep going irrespective of the odds around you. Not everyone want to birth kid outside wedlock and no sane individual plans to get away from partnership agreement termed marriage but you see, shit happens and life has to go on. 

To the single mothers wanting to be loved again, desiring the shoulders of an able man to lean her weak soul, be desirous but don't be desperate. Yes, keep your hope alive because the heavens will smile on you but don't send your brain on sabbatical in your need for a man. Know that your happiness lies with you and not the presence of a man in your life, so make yourself happy as much as you can. Don't pause your existence because you are needy of a man. DON'T. 

Maximize your time and energy, get something to distract yourself from feeling so low and pitying yourself leading you to settle for far less than you should. The fact you are a single mom should be a strong WHY not to select another wrong option. Don't continue to sacrifice your children's future and your future on the altar of temporary pleasure and desperation to fit in. When you are slapped once, it not your fault but when you get slapped twice, it absolutely your fault for been stupid not to have learnt some lessons from previous experience. So chill away that instant gratification of wanting to be with a man so you can choose right for yourself, the kid(s) and the future to come. 

When you intentionally make the right decision, it goes  home to tell your kids that not all men are beast like the male character in your previous scene. And remember, it profiteth nothing to loose your mind, peace and sanity because you want the marriage tag.

Best

A man has no business starting a family he cannot afford. What exactly does a young man need these days?

- A good place to stay (compulsory)

- A steady source of income that can sustain the home (compulsory)

- Running cost (varying but compulsory)

- A car

See how your face became a frown when you saw 'car'. Okay, it is optional.

That seems like all, surely we should all be able to afford it right?

Okay let's break it down a little further for a state like Lagos.

You can start your home anywhere ranging from squatted space (if you like) to a mansion but on the average we want to go with the decent minimum.

You need at least a 1 Bed Apartment (I am talking very humble, understanding and sometimes crazily in love wife who sees something in you worth that level of humility). In Lagos, that can be anything from N150,000 to N500,000 on the average, depending on area.

You need to furnish the place and get basic things with which to start life including electronics, kitchen and cooking, beddings etc again, you are a super ijebu guy and get it all for N300,000, sorry I just remembered that the nature of the nation means a generator set is compulsory and we can add things like water tank etc to it, Just make it N400,000. Sorry I just realised you actually need chairs, curtains, refrigerator , TV, Sound system, DSTV (or its younger brothers). Hommie, be real you need at least N600,000 for that.

After that, seems like you are good to go on very basic level but then you realise you need running funds. 

- Money for foodstuff (monthly bulk)

- Soup Money (weekly) *Mr. Tomato warming up to make an entry.

- Television subscription

- Maintenance money (hair, cream etc)

- Recurrent rent

- NEPA bill

- Fuel (for generator)

Let's be verrrrry very nice and allocate N50,000 monthly to all of the above (N600,000 per annum + the rent).

I am even too tired to think up other things that I know exist so let's just free them - we dash you. So, 600k+600k+(anything between 150-500k for rent at the end of 12 months)+(anything between 150-500k+ agent+commission+agreement+caution for the first year)

Bros just keep N2million for one side.

There's nothing wrong with N2m except, you earn a decent N75k a month.

That's N900k a year if you decide not to spend a kobo of it meaning you will be at it for over 2 years. But that's impossible and man gats survive so yes you touch out of it and you save say a realistic N20k monthly. You will be at it for close to a decade sir by which time our estimate would have been long outdated and in need of extra allocations.

Welcome to the reality of a young Nigerian man as experienced by majority of Africans.

Inside this money, you will plan wedding (you see why people make aso ebi a business of sorts?) and ontop of everything you still need to send money to your folks and God bless you, your in-laws. How that account wan ever balance?

The ladies too aren't making it easy, you can at least help take care of the kitchen so that is removed from a man's list, na lie. That's when you remember it's his house and can anyone blame you? Bros who send you wife marry? It's your weight, carry it.

While trying not to create an excuse for men to be irresponsible, sometimes we need to wake up to the reality as it faces us, if we don't build together as a home, a lot of the men we are waiting on will not propose till X (for every X>= 10+ years)

If you have truly found someone worthy of spending your forever with then I don't see why you cannot team up with the person to make the home. You have seen the above breakdown and your fiance earns in that band, you know what your expectations are, stop wondering why he hasn't proposed, his reality is not matching the dream that's why.

But then again, see man wey dem wan help not showing seriousness, phew.

See his eyes like those of a sharp shooter that will score on the wedding night.....Hello Maternity cost plus child(ren). 

How does one balance this account? You are welcome to give it your best shot.

This is made on an assumed income of N75K, now ask yourself. Do you even earn up to N50k? 

Now, say you even magically get a N50k per annum house as against N150k, you are still just deducting N100k, let's say you absolutely decide not to put anything in it and sleep on concrete, less another N600k, you are still left with N1.3million. On your N75K income that's 20 whole months without touching it, yet you don't even earn N75k.

Don't deceive yourself, get with the reality. When people talk to you about having faith, they should also be real with you on what needs to be done. The people selling things and offering you services also have families to feed and pray. To be married is not by prayer alone. You need to have a plan and action the plan, then pray for Allaah to bless it. Not just sit down seeking to create in marriage, a family we cannot yet take care of.

Now to the deeper question. You know ladies are of different class and taste. Are you asking for a wife from women who can sleep with you on the floor or you are going to meet people raised in relative luxury? You see how it is right? Hopefully you do.

Can you see why you need Multiple sources of income 

Let me hold you by the hand and teach you how to earn massively from a side hustle. 

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