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Queenoj
A Beginner's Guide To Sex
~5.9 mins read
The basics of pleasure, STIs, condoms, and more—we've got you covered.
Top things to know:
Sex drive, is complex and is affected by physical and emotional aspects
Sex is not just for procreation—it should also be pleasurable for every person involved
STIs are common and if caught early, may be treatable. Many don’t have symptoms, which is why regular testing is extremely important.
We wouldn’t be on this planet if it wasn’t for sex. Although sex is a part of the human lifecycle, many people still find it taboo to discuss. In many places, it’s common for people to start learning about sex during puberty.
Curious about sex, but not sure where to start? Here’s the very basics of what you should know before thinking about having sex for the first time.
Often, the sex education you learn in school is not as accurate as it could be, nor as applicable. It can take a long time to figure out what works for you and what your preferences are.
Sex drive: what is it and where does it come from?
Our sex drive and sexual pleasure are impacted by our physiology, psychology, societal expectations, and the interactions between these domains. In addition, we still don’t have a great understanding of female sexual anatomy or female orgasm.
Birth control can sometimes affect your sex drive, so if you are currently taking hormonal contraception, tracking your symptoms in Clue can help you determine its effects on your body and libido.
Tracking your sex drive and sexual activity in Clue can give you an indication of what’s normal for you at certain points during your cycle. Make sure to download Clue and start tracking today.
Sexual pleasure
When people think of sex, they often think of orgasm as the ultimate way to achieve pleasure. Female orgasm, in particular, is often seen to be proof of sexual success. There is still not enough adequate research or information about female orgasm, although we generally know how to define the different ways people tend to achieve orgasm:
Even if you don’t end up having an orgasm, there are other ways to experience pleasure. Erogenous zones are areas of the body that elicit a sexual response when stimulated. This can include the genital area, nipples, or anywhere, really—whatever you’re into.
The clitoris is one of the most sensitive erogenous zones due to its high concentration of nerve endings (1,2). By stimulating an erogenous zone, a sexual physiological response can be set into motion.
The clitoris is part of the vulva, the name for the external parts of female genitalia. The vagina is the tube connecting the vulva and the cervix.
How to have safer sex
Safer sex is a way to reduce your risks of STIs.
Here’s the top 3 ways to avoid STIs:
Correct, consistent (always, not just some of the time) use of barriers (condoms and other barriers, like dental dams) on body parts or toys for any kind of vaginal, anal, or oral sex
Being mutually sexually exclusive: both you and your partner only have sex with each other
Regular testing for all STIs, by you and your partner(s).
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Queenoj
How To Stop Being Taken For Granted In A Relationship
~5.4 mins read
Life’s too short to be taken for granted, especially by someone you love.
Some people who have been in relationships for long, tend to feel as though their partners are taking them for granted; appreciating and paying attention to them less.
If this is you, don’t bail just yet, here are 3 creative approaches you should apply that will make your partner pay more attention to you, and not just take you as a by the way.
Don’t constantly cancel your plans for theirs
Always making yourself available by ditching your plans for theirs is the number one reason why you’re being taken for granted in the relationship.
If your partner knows you are always available and can easily turn down your plans, they realize they own you and your time.
It’s therefore important to make it very clear that you’re not at their disposal or rather their beck and call. Just because you’re already in a relationship doesn’t mean you can no longer play hard to get.
Let them initiate things first
A relationship is supposed to be two-way, not a one-sided effort.
If you’re always the first one to text, the first one to call or the first one to initiate physical contact, hold back for a while.
By doing all these things first, you’re making your partner lazy and will always assume, you will do it. At the end of the day, he will never make an effort to initiate things first.
Let your partner make the first move.
Hangout with your friends more often
Majority of people tend to ditch and forget their friends exist once they enter into a relationship.
This makes your partner take your presence for granted because you’re always there 24/7.
So, break this pattern by hanging out or taking a trip more with your friends. That way, they will understand that your presence is a privilege since distance makes the heart grow fonder.
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