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Edwinsakalajr
SEX DURING PREGNANCY
~2.0 mins read
It's perfectly safe to have sex during pregnancy unless your doctor or midwife has told you not to.
Having sex will not hurt your baby. Your partner's penis can't penetrate beyond your vagina, and the baby cannot tell what's going on.
However, it's normal for your sex drive to change during pregnancy. This isn't something to worry about, but it's helpful to talk about it with your partner.
Some couples find having sex very enjoyable during pregnancy, while others simply feel they don't want to. You can find other ways of being loving or making love. The most important thing is to talk about your feelings with each other.
Read more on talking about sex.
If your pregnancy is normal and you have no complications, having sex and orgasms won't increase your risk of going into labour early or cause a miscarriage.
Later in pregnancy, an orgasm or even sex itself can set off mild contractions. If this happens, you'll feel the muscles of your womb go hard. These are known as Braxton Hicks contractions and can be uncomfortable, but they're perfectly normal and there's no need for alarm. You might want to try some relaxation techniques or just lie down until the contractions pass.

When to avoid sex in pregnancy

Your midwife or doctor will probably advise you to avoid sex if you've had any heavy bleeding in this pregnancy. Sex may increase the risk of further bleeding if the placenta is low or there's a collection of blood (haematoma).
You'll also be advised to avoid sex if:
  • your waters have broken – it can increase the risk of infection (ask your midwife or doctor if you're not sure whether your waters have broken)
  • there are any problems with the entrance to your womb (cervix) – you may be at a higher risk of going into early labour or having a miscarriage
  • you're having twins, or have previously had early labours, and are in the later stages of pregnancy
  • If you or your partner are having sex with other people during your pregnancy, it's important you use a barrier form of contraception, such as a condom, to protect you and your baby from sexually transmitted infections (STIs).

    Good and bad sex positions during pregnancy

    While sex is safe for most couples in pregnancy, it may not be all that easy. You will probably need to find different positions. This can be a time to explore and experiment together.
    Sex with your partner on top can become uncomfortable quite early in pregnancy, not just because of the bump, but because your breasts might be tender. It can also be uncomfortable if your partner penetrates you too deeply.
    It may be better to lie on your sides, either facing each other or with your partner behind.
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    Edwinsakalajr
    MARRIAGE AND PURE INTIMACY
    ~2.3 mins read
    Together with their family and friends, each couple is full of hopes and dreams for their future life together. But the road to a happy marriage is far from easy. And as today’s divorce statistics demonstrate all too well, many couples opt not to complete the journey.

    It would be easy to blame our high rate of marital failure on things like not spending enough quality time together, allowing bitterness and resentment to build in our hearts and failing to keep communication lines open. There’s no end to books, articles and seminars that tell you how to improve these and many other aspects of your relationship. But while quality time, forgiveness and communication are vitally important to creating a happy marriage, if such things aren’t happening, it’s usually a sign of a much deeper problem. And until this problem is addressed, no amount of external behavior modification will work.

    To get a hint of what this deeper issue might be, let’s take a look at the following Scripture passage:

    One of them, an expert in the law, tested him [Jesus] with this question: “Teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the Law?”
    Jesus replied:

    “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’
    This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it:

    ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments.” (Matthew 22:35-40)
    I believe that virtually every marital problem can be traced back to one or both partners failing to abide by these two laws. The same is true of any relationship. The minute we begin to focus on our own wants and needs over those of God or our partner; we’re destined for trouble.

    Experiencing communication problems in your marriage? How often do you really focus on listening to what your partner (or God) has to say instead of insisting on more airtime? Feeling bitterness and resentment growing toward your partner? When was the last time you brought him or her before the Lord in prayer and truly thanked God for your relationship? Struggling to find quality time together? How about praying with your partner and asking God how he would like you to use your time?

    As you begin to do these things, you’ll notice that your focus automatically starts to shift away from you and your desires and over to God and your partner. As a result, communication problems begin to improve, anger and resentment fade away and you naturally want to spend more time together. Of course, you can’t expect such changes to happen overnight. Your relationship is also bound to face financial pressures, child-rearing issues and other problems that are beyond your control. But if you commit your relationship to God and make a conscious decision each day to put God and your partner first, your marriage will be able to weather any storm. Not only that; you’ll also have plenty of fun together along the way!

    By Edwin sakala

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