Sex is something that many would rather leave till they are married.

People make decisions as this all the time; whether due to absolute virginity, or in some cases, just a decision to abstain from sex till they get married.

For People like this, one of the most difficult things would be the determination of sexual compatibility with their partners.

Obviously, it's Okay not to have sex before marriage but its not cool if you don't discuss about it before then.

The story has once been shared of a bride who was asked by her new husband for anal sex on the very night of their wedding or sometime thereabouts.

This particular couple had both abstained from sex till that wedding night, and when the time came to consummate their union, it occurred that they both had totally different ideas of what sex was meant to be like.

Apparently, the couple in question must surely not have had proper talk about their sexual preferences and towing such line in a sexless relationship could be the deadliest recipe for disaster.Its okay not to have sex before marriage   but it's not cool to not talk or discuss it before then.

it's OK to not have sex before marriage, but it's not cool to not talk or discuss it before then. Deciding to not have sex before marriage is not a bad thing, and if that is what you want with your partner, it's absolutely fine.

But choosing not to ascertain the sexual compatibility between you and your partner before taking such a huge leap as marriage is not advisable. And to determine the sexual common grounds between yourself and your partner without actually doing it, all you need is communication.

Unabashed, unrestricted, honest-to-God conversations. Large doses of it.

You need to ask all the questions imaginable, cover all the possible bases.

It is never enough to limit your talks to banks statements, number of kids, etc, only to relegate sexual compatibility to a place of nothingness. It does not work that way.

Since you will not actually be engaging in the sex, it is only logical to ask and have honest conversations about what that partner sees sex as, and what teases and pleases them, what they can do, what they can't, and what they can't do without.

It is only logical to ask and have honest conversations about what that partner sees sex as

It is only logical to ask and have honest conversations about what that partner sees sex as.

You need to listen to your partner's opinions on accepting and giving sexual pleasure, and gauge whether you can live up to that expectation or not.

You'll need to voice out what you find impossible and ridiculous. You also have to be open to bending a bit here, being accommodating a bit there till you both reach a common ground on the subject.

If you are both comfortable with it, these conversations could be during couples pre-marriage counselling, where you have someone 'supervising the negotiations.'

Whichever way you want it though, let it be known that sexual compatibility can be deciphered to a large extent without actually having sex if you both will just communicate right.

The deceased collapsed and died while he was in room number 22 at Mbezi Garden Hotel in Dar es Salaam, where he had gone to relax in the company of his girlfriend.

David Mluli, Neema Kibaya

An 80-year-old man identified as David Mluli lost his life at a hotel in Dar es Salaam, Tanzania, while he was having a hot romp with his 33-year-old lover.

Mr Mluli reportedly collapsed and died suddenly on Saturday, January 16, while he was in room number 22 at Mbezi Garden Hotel in Dar es Salaam, where he had gone to relax in the company of his girlfriend identified as Neema Kibaya.

Sources say the two had arrived shortly at the hotel with Mluli arriving first before his companion.

The Kinondoni Regional Police Commander, Mr Ramadhan Kingai, who confirmed the incident on Monday, January 18, told journalists that the police force received a phone call from Mbezi Garden Hotel manager Newton Mkonda on January 16 at around 3pm.

The caller informed the law enforcers of the sudden death of a client at the hotel who had occupied room number 22.

"The police arrived at the area and found Mr Mluli’s body along with a woman who identified herself as Neema Kibaya. Ms Kibaya told the police of the love relationship she had with the deceased,” said Kingai.

Police then took the body to Mwananyamala Hospital for postmortem while Ms Kibaya, a resident of Goba and a businesswoman, has been detained.

Preliminary investigations, he said, showed that Mr Mluli could have died from a normal death because his body shows no signs that there was any form of confrontation between him and any other person prior to the death.

"There were no direct physical signs that could have been noted as doubtful with exception of his under wears getting wet before he passed away,”said Mr Kingai.

While searching in the room, police found out that Mr Mluli was in possession of Sh37,000, his national identification card and Tecno mobile handset. Medical experts at the Mwananyamala Hospital will conduct a postmortem as soon as his relatives shown up.

"Postmortem protocols demand the presence of a relative of the deceased who has to identify the body before burial preparations." he added.