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Ayoabbey
Im Terribly Lonely In Canada
The subject of today’s #AbroadLife is a 22-year-old man who left Nigeria immediately after secondary school. He talks about being lonely in Canada and why he wants to come back home but can’t just yet.When did you decide that you wanted to leave Nigeria?I didn’t make the decision. My parents made the decision for me right after I left secondary school. I didn’t want to leave, but when your parents make that type of decision for you at 17, there’s really nothing else you can do.Why didn’t you want to leave?I liked it in Nigeria. All my life, I’d heard people complain about Nigeria. They’d say, seriously and jokingly, they wanted to leave. Most of those jokes had Canada as the dream destination for Nigerians, I liked it at home.In retrospect, I realise that I just hadn’t seen enough of life. I was shielded. My parents are super comfortable, so there was no need for me to complain. Everything I needed, I got.You felt safe.Yes. I’ve always been the person that takes family as the most important thing there is, so because I was with my family, I was okay.How did it feel moving away?I knew that I was going somewhere better, but I wish I stayed. The quality of the education I came here to get is definitely better than what I would have gotten in Nigeria. One thing I knew I would always miss being a part of was watching my two little sisters grow. I’m the first born and the only guy. I mean, yes, it was 2016, there was video calling technology, but it’ll never be as good as being there with them.I consoled myself with the thought that I’d probably be home from time to time, and they’d also visit me often.How has that worked out?It’s been five years and I’ve not seen them since I left. I’ve seen my parents, but my sisters have not been able to travel.Damn.All of that has added to the extreme loneliness I suffer over here. I miss home so much. It gets really bad sometimes. Soon, all those long video calls won’t cut it anymore.How do you deal with loneliness?COVID has changed the way people interact. For example, when I was lonely before, I’d go out with my friends or we’d play sports together. But since last year, I’ve just sat indoors, in front of my computer, doing whatever. It doesn’t help that when I have a new close friend, they have to leave Canada shortly, sometimes for work, and sometimes to move back home.I have a job now though. It started as a school internship, but they decided to keep me. Now they’re paying me more, and I have a sense of security. I also went into photography full time last year, and I recently got my first bookings to shoot at two different events. Things are looking up financially.That’s nice. How far gone are you with your education?I’ll be done next year. I can’t wait.Is that when you’re planning to come back home?I think I’ll eventually have to wait until then. I try to go home every year, but every time, something happens. This was the year I already promised myself and my friends that I would come. I already had a prospective date in mind and we’d made plans to Bleep shit up when I got back, but I don’t think I’ll be able to travel. I can’t even break the news to them yet. They’ll be heartbroken.Why can’t you travel?It’s a lot of reasons: first of all, I’ve not taken the COVID vaccine, and I don’t want a case where I’m not allowed back into the country for something as simple as that. Flights are expensive, I have some visa and passport issues, and all that. I thought I’d be able to sort all of that out before next month, but it looks like I’ll be spending my hot boy summer in Canada.Continue reading: https://www.zikoko.com/citizen/im-terribly-lonely-in-canada-abroad-life/
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Ayoabbey
5 Nigerian Women Talk About The Time They Settled In A Relationship
There are a lot of reasons someone might feel they settled for less than you deserved in a relationship. So, these five Nigerian women talk about the times they settled in their relationship.Joy, 21In the first two months of the relationship, I was smitten! We shared similar interests in things, and he used to shower me with attention and gifts. Sadly, the reason I was even in a relationship with him was that I was dealing with a lot of things, and he was the only person that could understand me.I’m very big on physical fitness because I’m a big enthusiast, but he on the other hand was very lazy and rarely ever worked out. We’re also from two different socioeconomic worlds. I’m very used to classy people and things due to the people I grew up with. He on the other hand was judgemental towards my friends.Most times I wish I didn’t even allow it to get that far, I should have just friendzoned him, but I was emotionally dependent on him.Cynthia, 20There was this guy I had a thing with and the first red flag should have been the fact that he was friends with my exes. At first, we liked each other as friends but, when he broke up with his ex, we became closer.When our thing started, uncle was doing rotation with me and the ex, but I was trying to be the good and understanding babe. He said he was comforting his ex. Whenever I’m unavailable, he was with her. He’ll now come and say she was the one that called him and he didn’t know how to say no. He came up with excuse that she was always crying and his mum said he should check on her.Whenever i talk to him about it, he always said ‘put yourself in her shoes. Everyone warned me, but I was forming let love lead.He never smelled nice, and was just plain with no swag. Well, the scale fell off my eyes and when I saw that I had settled, I ran!Aminat, 25I started working in like 200 level because my dad was not having sense, my mum’s finances weren’t really good anymore, and I needed to keep up with my baby girl lifestyle. I got a well-paying job, it was remote and I was able to live up to my standard.I’ve always dated very rich, wealthy, and generous men. Due to that reason, I always got really expensive gifts and lots of money unwarranted. I even got about $25k on my birthday from my ex-husband, but before my ex-husband, there was this man I dated briefly.This man didn’t have a good-paying job but didn’t want to do better. I even tried to use my network for him, but he just didn’t want to make an effort. He lived in a 1 bedroom apartment with just a mattress on the floor and he turned down so many opportunities that could make him have more money. I think he felt comfortable because he was getting money from me. I wasn’t used to that kind of life.Continue reading: https://www.zikoko.com/her/5-nigerian-women-talk-about-the-time-they-settled-in-a-relationship/
