But there is one thing most people know to avoid for sure: asking for advice. It’s inconsiderate—we don’t want to bother others. After all, they have their own problems to solve. Also, they may not have the answer we need anyway. These reasons may or may not be true. But we are pretty sure that people will think less of us. So, good reasons or no, we don’t ask.

However, our research suggests that the instinct to not seek advice is wrong. Fears about appearing incompetent by asking for advice—though extremely common—are sorely misplaced. Here’s why: when you ask for advice, people do not think less of you, they actually think you’re smarter. By asking someone to share his or her personal wisdom, advice seekers stroke the advisor’s ego and can gain valuable insights. In their minds, advisors actually think, “I’m brilliant (of course), so this guy’s smart for asking for my advice.”