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DemuchGS
How To Stop Complaining And Be Negative
~3.7 mins read
Some time ago, as I was crossing the street, a speeding car appeared from around the corner. I instantaneously jumped backward and yelled to get the attention of the driver. He noticed me at the last moment, slammed the breaks, and barely avoided running into me. 

If the driver had reacted just a fraction of a second later, I would be smashed into the pavement so hard I would probably die on the spot.

I called him an idiot and continued crossing the road. It took me a few moments to calm down but, after I did, I got on with my life without thinking too much about what just happened. 

If this happened several years earlier, things would be much different.

This short incident would bleed into the rest of my life and eat up significantly more of my time and energy. I would come home mad and throw stuff around, talking to my roommate about what happened, how the driver is an idiot, how bad drivers kill people, how people drive drunk, how people don’t pay attention, how the laws are bad, etc. I would retell that story to my family, friends, girlfriend, coworkers, and acquaintances. 

With each retelling, I would revisit those ten seconds focusing on what could have happened. That would be my reaction every single time. It took me years to realize how this approach results in me being a lot more negative than I currently am. But hey, that’s “normal“, right? Everybody needs to vent sometimes. What’s wrong with that? After all, it was a near-death experience. At the very least, a story worth retelling. 

That’s the reasoning I would use, at least. And I bet it’s the same reasoning you use whenever you complain about everything in your life, from your alarm clock not going off to problems with family, school, work, anything.

The truth is much simpler than that: Complaining is bad, always and without exceptions. 

UGH, COMPLAINING IS THE WORST, RIGHT? 

People love to complain. It’s easy, it’s popular, everybody does it. So when someone like me strolls along and says that complaining is absolutely, totally fucking useless, the complainers get annoyed… and start complaining.

So let’s get something straight — complaining does not refer to all types of negative talk. Negative talk can be useful. Analyzing a problem, standing up for injustice, battling tyranny — all amazing things. However, none of them can be achieved by complaining, as complaining implies talking shit for the sake of talking shit.

Look, I used to complain a lot. I get it. Everybody has their own justifications for why complaining is actually “not that bad” and “makes you feel better” and “helps you solve problems”. All of these reasons are bullshit and I’m about to prove it to you.

Here are some popular justifications you probably use:

1. YOU HAVE TO TALK ABOUT NEGATIVE THINGS TO SOLVE THEM

Analyzing an issue or criticizing bad behavior in order to improve it is useful. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with that. What complaining implies is that there is no change as a result. It’s negative talk for no purpose other than to talk negatively. 

It always implies inaction. It doesn’t solve problems or change reality. It doesn’t provide solutions or life lessons to avoid the same problem in the future. 

It simply places the blame on something and says “this sucks”. No shit, Sherlock. It’s easy to point fingers and blame everybody else for everything that’s wrong in the world. How about you try pointing that finger at yourself from time to time?

2. THE WORLD CAN BE NEGATIVE AND YOU CAN’T AVOID IT

Holy smokes, Batman. I’m the first guy who will agree with this and give you a high five.

However, what does that have to do with complaining? Yes, there will always be negative things in the world. This doesn’t mean you should talk about them all the fucking time. You can just as easily say that there will always be positive things in the world and talk about them all the time. But you won’t, will you?

I’m not trying to say you should be deluded into always being positive and not recognizing when things are objectively shitty. I’m simply trying to say that, for the most part, the things you complain about on a daily basis are unimportant and you are better off simply letting them go. They literally don’t matter unless you make them matter.

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DemuchGS
All Models Are Wrong, Some Are Useful
~3.6 mins read
Even the best models of the world are imperfect. This insight is important to remember if we want to learn how to make decisions and take action on a daily basis.
For example, consider the work of Albert Einstein.
During the ten year period from 1905 to 1915, Einstein developed the general theory of relativity, which is one of the most important ideas in modern physics. Einstein's theory has held up remarkably well over time. For example, general relativity predicted the existence of gravitational waves, which scientists finally confirmed in 2015—a full 100 years after Einstein originally wrote it down.
However, even Einstein's best ideas were imperfect. While general relativity explains how the universe works in many situations, it breaks down in certain extreme cases (like inside black holes).

All Models Are Wrong, Some are Useful

In 1976, a British statistician named George Box wrote the famous line, “All models are wrong, some are useful.”
His point was that we should focus more on whether something can be applied to everyday life in a useful manner rather than debating endlessly if an answer is correct in all cases. As historian Yuval Noah Harari puts it, “Scientists generally agree that no theory is 100 percent correct. Thus, the real test of knowledge is not truth, but utility. Science gives us power. The more useful that power, the better the science.”
Even Einstein's work was not perfect in all cases, but it has been incredibly useful—not just for increasing our understanding of the world, but also for practical purposes. For example, the Global Positioning Systems (GPS) used in your phone and in your car must take the effects of relativity into account to deliver accurate directions. Without general relativity, our navigation systems wouldn’t be accurate.

How to Make Decisions in an Imperfect World

What steps can we take to make decisions, given that no single way of looking at the world is accurate in all situations?
One approach is to develop a broad collection of frameworks for thinking about the world. Some experts refer to each framework as a “mental model.” Each mental model is a way of thinking about the world. The more mental models you have, the more tools you have in your thinking toolbox to make decisions.
For example, here are three ways of thinking about productivity:
  • The 2-Minute Rule: If something takes less than two minutes, do it now. The goal of this rule is to help you stop procrastinating and take action.
  • The Ivy Lee Method: Create a to-do list by writing down the six most important things you need to accomplish tomorrow, prioritizing those items, and working on them in order. The goal of this method is to help you work on the most important things first.
  • The Seinfeld Strategy: Pick a new habit and draw an X on the calendar for each day you stick with the behavior. The goal of this method is to help you maintain consistency and keep your streak of good behavior alive.
  • Are any of these models perfect? Of course not. But if you combine them, then you have a strategy that can help you take action right now (The 2-Minute Rule), a strategy that can help you plan your day more effectively (The Ivy Lee Method), and a strategy that can help you maintain consistency in the long-run (The Seinfeld Strategy).
    You need a collection of mental models because no single framework can work in every situation.

    Doing the Best We Can With What We Have

    Accepting that all models are wrong in certain instances is not a license to ignore the facts. As a society, we should search for better answers, look for evidence, and strive to increase the accuracy of our knowledge.
    At the same time, there is a common peril on the other end of the spectrum. Too many people waste time debating if something is perfectly correct, when they should be focusing on if it is practically useful.
    We live in a world filled with uncertainty, but we still need to get things done and make decisions. It is our responsibility to develop a way of thinking about the world that generally fits the facts we have, but to not get so gummed up thinking about things that we never actually do anything. As Harvard professor Daniel Gilbert puts it, “The world doesn’t have the luxury of waiting for complete answers before it takes action.”
    Impartial answers are the best we have. Focus on what is practical and take action. All models are wrong under some circumstances, but the important thing is if they are generally useful.

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