I will call myself a girl. My parents still see me that way, though I am 21 and my mates are fit to have children. My case is different. All my life, I have known white walls, white coats, sympathizers and the smell of medicine. Hydroxyurea, Pentazocine, Primaquine, Ceftriaxone, Metoclopramide, Ondansetron. My blood is 70 percent drug. I am used to it, somehow, not completely. Each time my skin is pierced I wish I was never born.

My parents came the other day with a pack of love cards and plenty of kisses. 

"You know we love you," with tears in their eyes.

"Yes." I reply.

I used to hate them for their Ignorance. Genetic conselling is what modern day couples should take as a priority but they forgot that and went on to have an SS child. One day I shouted at Mum in a fit of rage.I have never done that before but it felt good.For once, I could channel my anger at someone and let my fury pour so  they'll know that behind my wry smiles is a hatred that has lingered for so long.

But I have come to terms with it. Since the Saga, as I like to call it, everything has been fine and whatever fate awaits me today. I will not regret I had such wonderful parents. 

I made a list of my last wishes in no particular order. Take a look

Do something stupid

Kiss a boy

Taste dry gin

Head home

DO SOMETHING STUPID

So today, I ran mad. Not literally. But I guess somehow. I tore away all the syringes, pulled off the tubings and headed out in my scrubs early to fulfill my last wishes like a badass. The doctors will not find me, by the time they do, i'll be dead.

I have changed my clothes and I never thought a girl like me could be clad in rugged jeans. Just so you know this, I broke into a shop opposite the hospital, Epiphany, and decided to get myself one.

TASTE DRY GIN

I am a christian girl and we do not take alcohol.Today, I will break the rules. I want to know what the taste of squadron feels like, or derok or any kind of kai kai. Call me silly but I have yearned for this moment for months and in this bitter cold, i believe, it is just fitting.

" Derok ma"

The statuesque charcoal black woman stepped out and gave a puzzled look.

"A beautiful girl like you asking for gin in the morning." she must be thinking.

She offers it to me, almost reluctantly and I set off to see Fred.

KISS A BOY

Fred - I call him my handsome boyfriend.His thick curly hair and fair hairy body with those full red lips kill me. We have just been friends. But I know there is something more - I head for his house.

It is about 3am and I knock on the door. No one answers but I hear something.

"Interesting." I think

"And he looks all innocent"

Soon, he opens the door,  looking unnerved and then, surprised.

"You were in the hospital?"

"Yes."  I give him a wry smile.

He is silent. Then a girl falls out from a closet, I can see it from where I am standing, then I chuckle.

"She had to hide" I say.

He stutters and speaks gibberish.

I reach for his cheeks and give him a kiss, a peck is more appropriate.

He is startled and I could see a bulge in that somewhere.

 "Men" I mutter

"Goodbye Fred." I say. "I pray she sees that."

HEAD HOME

I stand by the blue gate with blurry eyes and a fainting spell. The whole place is swirling but i try to find balance in the dizziness. I puke. It has begun, I think.If I die, this is where i want ot to be.Home.

Mum sees me and is astonished. Dad rushes out and they both take me into the house. They rain all sorts of curses on Doctor Seun amd threaten to make a call. I plead with them not to. I tell them it is my last dying wish to die in their arms and not on a bed, I tell them I want their faces to be the last image I see.

"Emem, Dont say that" my mum warns as Dad tries hard not to weep.

Just then Bobo comes back from school.

"Sister" he says.

"Bobo. Ludo....bring Ludo". He stares at me, teary eyed and rushes off to bring a board.

" Dad, I told you you will never win me in Ludo once I learnt it. Lets see if you can today"

His face is red and dripping and shinning with tears. I smile and my trembling hands reach for his face.Then he says

"Let's play."

That is the last word I hear. These were the last faces I saw. There is no greater heaven than home.

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2. Weight Loss: Bitter kola is known for being a natural hunger suppressant and a great thirst stimulant, and as such helps to reduce weight loss, as a reduced intake of food and a large intake of water is needed by the body to get rid of excess fat and stay healthy ​(Collise et al., 2011)​.

3. Diabetes: The seeds of bitter kola are believed to possess the ability to lower blood glucose, which makes it a potential treatment for diabetes miletus ​(Hertog et al., 2007)​.

4. Prevention from glaucoma: It has been proven by a group of researchers, that constant and consistent use of an eye drop made from an extract of garcinia kola can help treat glaucoma ​(Farombi et al., 2005)​.

5. Cold and fever remedy: By possessing the ability to enlarge the alveolar sac and duct, Bitter kola provides relief for chest cold and goes on to prevent cold altogether ​(Okwu & Ekeke, 2003)​.

6. Treatment of erectile dysfunction: Research has shown, that garcinia kola (bitter kola), has aphrodisiac effects (causes or increases sexual desire) in male folks, and as such is used in the treatment of erectile dysfunction ​(Okwu & Ekeke, 2003)​.

7. Immunity: Bitter kola influences multiple regulatory systems in the body, the immune system inclusive. It enables the body to adapt to stress and also acts as an anti-infective agent ​(Collise et al., 2011)​.

8. Osteoarthritis: Bitter kola is known as an excellent disease modifier, which provides potential relief in osteoarthritis. Studies have shown that garcinia kola appears to have significant analgesic/anti-inflammatory effects on patients with knee osteoarthritis. As such, garcinia kola is considered a potential osteoarthritis disease activity modifier with a high prospect of a good outcome. It helps in the reduction of inflammation, pain and immovable joints. The root cause of arthritis and displeasing pain may be a joint injury, obesity, aging or it may be hereditary. Thus, the consumption of this miraculous plant can help cover all these problems and cure it from its roots ​(Farombi et al., 2005)​.

9. Healthy lungs: Garcinia kola contains saponin which is an antioxidant. It has detoxifying and cleansing effects. This goes on to improve the function of the lungs by expanding the alveolar ducts and sacs, and as such, strengthens the fiber in the tissue of the lungs. It has favorably high antioxidant content for a healthy body ​(Farombi et al., 2005)​.

10. Helps Pregnancy: Bitter kola contrary to what some may believe, actually has been said to be helpful and useful in and for pregnant women, as it helps in combating nausea and vomiting, making the uterus healthier, supplies strength to the expectant mother and normalizes circulation of blood also.