Dear young person

Do not be in a relationship that affects your youth.

You are young, you are figuring out life. You are setting path and you are deciding life. This entails exploration, growth and freedom.

Your relationship rules should be flexible enough to allow you be a youth.

Your relationship should not tie you down.

There's a scholarship? Go get it.

There's a career? Go get it.

There are jobs? Go get them.

Attachments? Get them.

Flings? Sure!

Attractions are natural, don't kill yourself for it, explore them.

Investments? Oya!

Adventures? Travels? Fun? Get them!

Live!

Live your youth. Be free.

You will never get the chance to be a youth again.

This phase is determinant, don't tie it down.

Your relationship rules should not be rigid and tight that it's choking on your youth.

People often mistake validation with allowance.

You hear excuses like "The society won't allow me do this" "The society won't allow me do that"

Let's be clear, anything that is not subject to legal jurisdiction and is not been imposed on you through violent compulsion, you are under no obligation to do.

When you say the society does not allow you do something, most often, what you mean is that the society will not validate or provide emotional comfort for you while you are doing it.

I need to break the news to you. The society is under no obligation to pacify your pathological need for validation.

You can wear what you want, the society do not have to like it and they do not need to shower you with positive appraisals.

The society do not owe you any applause. They do not owe you exemption from criticism.

Here is the thing about choices. We sieve our choices through a priority scope, and they are often sum positive. We choose a more valuable option to us even when it seems less so.

If you decide to let go what you want and do what the society will approve, what you have shown is that you value societal approval more than what you initially intended to do. Therefore, your choice is still sum positive in respect to your need for validation and approval.

If you wanted to do it well enough, you would have.

No one is responsible for that choice but you.

The society did not make you do anything, you decided to do something you do not necessarily have to do in order to purchase validation from strangers who often are of no consequence to you.

No one denies you allowance, they just won't offer you their validation and somehow you'd die unless they do.

Validation and allowance are not the same.

Take responsibility for your damn choices!!!