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The number of heartbreaks will drastically reduce if many young people will sincerely answer this question before getting into a relationship. Sadly, many have not stopped to ask themselves this question. These days, being in a relationship seems to be more important to people than the purpose for which they get into it. Like Dr. Myles Munroe would say, when the purpose of a thing is not Known, abuse is inevitable. This might possibly be the reason why we have many abusive relationships today. Young people just want to mingle because they are single.
But does being single really qualify anyone to be in a relationship? the answer is definitely no. You can be single and still not be responsible and matured enough to handle and manage relationships. Being single is not just enough. If only we can sit down to reasonably ask and answer this question, the world will be a better place. And many ladies will desist from saying all men are the same and the guys too, will stop saying all girls are cheap. There are many things to consider before getting into a relationship:
1. Responsibility
How responsible are you? This is one amongst the many questions that every single person should answer before dating. Winston Churchill once said that responsibility is the price for greatness. Many young people have not so learnt responsibility. Unfortunately, they have not grown to a state of being answerable and accountable, and that is what responsibility is all about. If you are the type that does what you want to do with the mindset that you owe no man an explanation, don't go into a relationship; you will end up hurting and breaking the hearts of people. In relationship, you are answerable and accountable to the one you love. The day you start a relationship, you have lost the liberty to do whatever you want to do without carrying your partner along. You owe him/her accountability in every major decision you want to make. You shouldn't start a job without informing your partner. Sadly, even some who claim to be ready for marriage are guilty of this. They make decisions without seeking the opinion of their partners.
No love relationship will succeed with such a mindset.
2. Commitment
How committed are you? Nowadays, "I love you" is more passive than active in many relationships. It has been made a mantra with little or no show of corresponding action. How can you say you love someone without a corresponding action to prove it? Love is more of a verb than it is a noun. Like the saying goes, "action speaks louder than words." If we have more people who would "do" love than speak love, many relationships will last.
3. Teachability
There is absolutely no one that doesn't have flaws. However, no matter the flaws we have as humans, it is never something that cannot be worked on. And one of the attributes we must have, is teachability. It is often said that the power to becoming anything lies in being a student. And learning is one of the main responsibilities of a student. If we truly want to improve on our weaknesses, we must be open to learn. We must train ourselves to never see correction as an attack. If your partner cannot correct you, and if he/she is not someone you can learn from, you don't qualify for being in a relationship. Also, we must not be quick to forget that intimacy reveals vulnerability. If you don't want people to see your weaknesses, kindly do yourself the favour of avoiding intimacy with anyone.
There is no weakness too big enough to not lay aside in the lives of those who are willing to learn. Most of what we call weakness in relationships are learned behaviours. We can actually unlearn them by renewing our minds. And it takes a heart that is open to learn, unlearn and relearn to do this. This in itself, is teachability.
There are many other attributes that can be added to the list for a relationship to work out. But one vital point that we all must take home is this: until we have succeeded in dating ourselves, we won't succeed at dating others. Your love life first begins with you. If you don't know how to love yourself, you are likely to flop in the way and manner you love others.
Until you have succeeded in dating yourself, kindly stay away from dating others. Someone may be quick to ask, "but why?" Well, the trust is, when we don't learn to begin with ourselves, beginning with others might be very tough. A man that knows how to take care of himself is likely to easily take care of others. On a scale of 1- 10, how would you rate your self love?
Talking about self love, we shouldn't forget that we are to love our neighbours as ourselves. How can we love them when we have not first learnt to love ourselves? It will shock you to know that some guys are very stingy to themselves. Now, how do you expect such guys to give freely in a relationship? Sincerely, it will be very difficult: because they have not learnt to give to themselves first! That's how it works! Nobody is rushing you. If you are in any way guilty of these things, kindly convict and grant yourself bail before you run into the continual treason of failed relationships.