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The bus wey I enter today just full of mad people, I dey regret

why I even enter the bus .

We dey go , driver dey speed like mad goat wey no get control.

I don dey fear wetin don dey my mind be say I must buy my own

motor so pesin no go k!ll me with his reckless driving .

One police car speed reach our bus . I don dey thankGod but I

know no say the police sef dey craze. Me wey dey think say the

policeman want stop our driver to tell him to slow just see say the

police dey ginger the driver say make him drive faster.

Driver eyes don turn red, him sef add more nitro speed up, the

police car too dey speed. wetin come kill the matter be say the

police come tell driver say "make dem do first to reach race " for

my mind , is like these yeye driver and mad police want play fast

and furious with our lives o. Abi dem dey mad ni?

Na today I witness all those skills wey dem do for fast and furious

7.

Oboy this our driver be dey drive like "Dominic toretto" while the

police dey drive like " Paul walker" . Oga police don overtake us

but when the passengers come ginger driver say if him lose this

race them no go pay him t-fare but if him win dem go give am

double I come confam say the passengers sef dey craze ,for my

mind I dey cry .

Please make una pray for me as I dey write we still dey inside bus

ooo, I dey witness fast and furious. I don promise God if him

save me I go join ushering department for church🙈🙈😂😂

I made you Laugh 😂

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This is the reason why my mom wants me to marry on time😂😂😂😂

1. My shortest relationship lasted for two hours, she gave me her number at 7pm and at 9pm I texted her goodnight, she replied "gewnhyt tew yew tew swyreah" I immediately deleted her number and blocked the spelling virus before it spread🏃🏃🏃🏃🚶🚶😯😟😂😂😂😂😂😂

★ A kid went missing.

His family uploaded a message with his photo. He was found !!! That's a big thanks to Facebook. Now, it is more than three months he is not able to go to school.

Why? Because whenever people see him, they take him back home. Why? Because the message is still circulating on Facebook.

Please stop sharing old Facebook messages 😑😑😑🙄🙄🙄🙄😂😂😂😂😂

★ *Jacob used a stone as a pillow and saw a vision, Samson used Delilah's thigh as a pillow and lost his vision. Check your pillow.😑😑😑😑😑😑😑😑😑😑😑

★ *If you have a problem with people holding their car keys in their hands when moving around ,hold your Transport Money....let's not complicate things😋😋😋😋😋🙄🙄🙄😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

★ *TEACHER:* Give Me The Names Of The 3 KINGS That Brought Happiness And Peace In People's Lives?

*ME:*- Smo-king, Drin-king 🤣🤣

The Teacher Is Now Escoting Me To The Head Teacher's Office, I Think They Are Going To Give Me A Bursary.😥😥😥😥😥😥😥😌😌😌😌😛😛

★ No weapon formed against Me and my followers will prosper,,, AMEN 👏😶😶

★ May all the phones of those who Enjoy Dis post Without Dropping Comment Got Stolen or Else fall in a Basin of Water This My Humble Prayer 🏃🚶🚶🏃🏃🏃🏃😛😛😂😂😂😋😋

She said, “chai

this WhatsApp registration dey chop money o.”

“Mummy I no understand… how?” I asked.😳

She sighed and said: “Since wey I tell

your brother to register me on WhatsApp, na so-so money I dey spend.”

I was confused, I didn’t understand what my mum was talking about. 

But after a while I got a clue and then asked:🤪 

“Oh ok,

Mummy na MB dey chop your money?”

She raised eye brows😲 and said: 

“Ah, which one be MB nah? 🙆‍♀️

I hope say I no go pay for that one o,

Because I don pay 8k for chatting permit,

7k for friend request fee,

3k for posting fee,

6k for profile picture permit.

And this evening again, your brother don talk say WhatsApp say make

I bring 5k for international WhatsApp passport.,

I don tire! 😞Na so una dey spend money for this thing?”

Me, I come say she go need WhatsApp Verification Number (WVN).

And that one is N35k only!!!, 

but make she try bring N30k make I help her add the remaining 5k as a good child.🤪

I cannot come and miss out!..🤔

Mummy was happy 😊to hear this with a joyful laugh and now said to me that all these good thing you my children are doing to me, your children too will do more than that to you by God's Grace...🙏

Then I waka comot as the situation don enter prayer...

🚶🚶🚶

For 3 hours now mummy have been calling me to come and take the N35k for the number...

See me see wahala. 

Na by force?😔😔😩

Please add me for more stories 🙏🙏

Andrex

When ever my dad sends me to the fuel station to buy fuel⛽, I was always happy😁 cause I know say small change go enter pocket 😁.

So today my dad sent me buy fuel⛽ from the fuel station, he gave me #2500 to buy the fuel but me dey see only #2000 cause #500 don disappear enter my pocket😀😁.

On my way to the fuel⛽ station, I sight one fine big egg roll 😁, without wasting time, I asked the woman how much, she told me #300💸, I bought it with one chilled mineral to digest it, after I chop finish, I continue my journey to the fuel⛽ station, getting close to the fuel station my dad called me and asked if I have bought the fuel, I lied and told him " yes".

When I got the fuel station I was told fuel⛽ had finished, I went to another fuel station again, same talk again "fuel don finish"I trek the full Benin🏃🏃 I no see fuel buy........I went home and saw my dad sitting outside and looking at me as I hold empty gallon for hand, he asked" Gabby where is d fuel⛽" I kept quite, he asked again "where the fuel " i explained everything DAT happened to him including the egg roll part, he said no problem DAT I should go inside, I was surprised no punishment and I was happy about it but the happiness no last..........when I was sleeping in the night☀ somebody entered my room and locked the door, on the light, I was surprised to see my father by this time of the night and he was holding one long and fat koboko🙆🙆........dat night dey beat me like thief .......well to cut the story short I am at general hospital in benin like this........

God bless every hand that will follow my profile for more jokes

👉 Andrex 👈

DARK🌑HOURS 

They were 7 and she sees them all including YOU!!

CHAPTER 1

 

 

The school bell rang and everyone ran out of cl@ss not waiting for permission, well everyb©dy except from them. During the whole lessons they were all in their own thoughts waiting for the teacher to walk out of the cl@ss so they could have their meeting and fortunately the bell finally rang and everyone was dismissed. They stood up and formed a circle and brou-ght out the map. “This…” Stanley who seemed like their group leader started with pointing at the map. “This is our goal” He says and they all nod their head smiling greedily at their thoughts of becoming rich. “I thought Tyler is supposed to be here” Violet asks and Susan rolls her eyes..

“I told you that guys that Tyler can’t go with us, he’s a coward” Susan replied earning a hateful glare from Angel, Tyler’s bestfriend and Stanley’s girlfriend. Susan didn’t notice the glare so there wasn’t any reason to fight. Tyler walks in the cl@ss looking worried. “Look guys I can’t do this, the stories am hearing about that mansion is enough to make me give up in the search for the gold and money” Tyler said and Susan lets out a mocking laugh then she mimics him ma-king Angel angry. She slams her hands on the table and stands up to face her bestfriend’s mocker.

“Say one more thing about him and I’ll shove a plank up your @ss” Angel threatened. Susan knows Angel to be very violent when angry so she shuts up.

“Hey calm down baby” Stanley says and k!sses Angel slowly on herl-ips while Susan watched jealously.

Gregory getting irritated at the child’s pl@ybetween Susan and Angel, stood up and brou-ght out his dad’s car keys.

“Are you all re-ady” He asks and they all nod except Tyler. “No need to be scared guy, all that story you heard is just a myth” Franklin @ssured him and he nodded his head although his mind wasn’t nodding.

“So let’s go” Violet said excitedly and they all stood up to walk out of the cl@ss. “You sure you can drive” Violet tea-sed Gregory, he smiled and replied.

“Of course I can’t” He said and Violet formed a shocked face. She puts her hand over his shoulder and they walk out to his dad’s van

The seven students were driving to their deaths but greediness won’t allow them see..

____________

3 HOURS LATER

_____________

Everyone c@m£ out of the van with upset faces, firstly the mansion was very far from their town and secondly the van was having fault, thirdly it was getting dark alre-ad . “I thought you said you had it checked out yesterday” Stanley said to Gregory but Gregory was busy trying to figure out what was wrong with the van.

“Guys I need to go wazz” Franklin said and walked out.

“Mehn this forest is danm thick” He said as he tried pushing the sticks and plants out of his way. He finds a clear place to do his thing so he starts. In the middle of it he hears someone whisper behind him, he looks back but doesn’t see anyone.

“The trees be talking” He says unconcerned and pu-lls up his trou-sers. Just as he’s about turning back, he notices two eyes looking at him. He walks to the direction but meets nob©dy there.

“fv¢k this place is damn creepy” He says and turns to leave but he feels hands on his legs that pu-lls him down the hill he was standing on. He screams for help but st©ps immediately when he realizes where he was.

“Guys, guys” He yelled excitedly and they all come down the hill.

“Good job Franklin, you found the mansion” Stanley complimented ma-king Franklin smile.

They all worked to the mansion

“Franklin wait” Violet called and bent down besides his legs. She takes out her rag and cleans his legs. “You bleeding” She said and gave him the rag.

“I need a more expensive rag after we get the money” Angel said and Franklin nodded. He wasn’t scared and that was very odd.

______________

Stanley held Angel hand in hand as they stood in front of the mansion, written on the door was ONLY ONE, which none of the students un-derstood. “plea-se let’s go now, I have a bad feeling about this” Tyler said as he looked at the words on the door. Susan fought the urge to laugh at him because of Angel so she could only roll her eyes at the coward guy. “It’s okay Tyler, nothing to be scared of” Angel said and opened the door.

The 7 of them entered and the door closed immediately ma-king Tyler skrie-k. “Just the wind” Angel @ssures him. “Franklin what’s wrong, why you looking around like that” Violet asks, he shakes his head and replies “Nothing”.

_______________

Franklin stands up in the forest after blacking out from the impact the fall caused. “Ouch my head hurts” He complained and looked around for his friends but they were not there, he climbe-d the hill and saw the van there but nob©dy was around.

“Where the fv¢k did they go to” He asked nob©dy in p@rticular. “Am just going to wait here for them” He says and sits down in the van.

__________________________

“So first of all we have to get the secret key to the hidden room which is somewhere upstairs, so let’s go search upstairs” Stanley said and everyone walked the stairs. Tyler noticed something on the walls of the stairs. It re-ad DON’T LOOK BACK SHE’S THERE ALre-adY, Tyler could feel someone whispering at his back but he’s too scared to look back especially when he knows everyone was in the front.

“SHE SEES YOU” He heard a voice say silently like a whisper. He jumps in fright and realises his friends were way upstairs alre-ady while he was still downstairs, still on the first step of the stairs, so all this while he wasn’t even climbing any stairs.

“I SEEEE YOUUUUUUUU!!!!!!”

TBC.. 

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God Bless You

A wife suspected d husband of having sex wit their maid, then she set a trap for d husband by sending d maid 2 d village for d weekend without telling d husband. At night, the husband told his usual story"darling i want to go n watch wrestling in d sitting room"he left. The wife silently went 2 d maid's room lying down on d bed naked without any light, he open d door and join her on d bed without wasting time n without a word, he had sex with her. After d fifth round she said, it's enough, i have caught u, so this is how u use to have sex with her, u will do two round n u wil tel me u are tired; fifth round now u are still demanding for more...The gate man replied"AM SORI MADAM I DIDNT KNW U WERE D ONE"EWEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!.😳😳😳😳😳😳😳.She shouted, then d husband rushed in n caught them, if u are d man or woman, what wil u do?...😂😂😂😂😂😂

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