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Percy
I Want To Marry A Very Beautiful Girl Her Name Is Ada We A...
~1.1 mins read
I want to marry a very beautiful girl her name is ada we are in love but the problem say I be mechanic, so i go meet her parents to talk about the bride price
Ada's father : na you wan marry my daughter??
Me : yes
Ada: blushes
Ada father : what is your job
Me : i be mechanic but with time ( Ada's father interrupted)
Ada's father: shut up you know how much I spend on her and na common mechanic you be .
Frank: Frank is a rich man he came inside with gold jewelry and he sat down asking for Ada's hand in marriage
Ada: you know need u mechanic comot for my house I wan settle down with my future husband
Frank: who is he
Ada : he is our family mechanic
Me: my heart break π and I said OGA frank she be my gf and she get belle for me
Frank : ahhhh na virgin girl I won marry no be second hand girl πππ
Ada: na lie he dey lie he nover touch me
Frank : am sorry bye
Ada πππππmy husband come
Frank : i no be your husband
Me :π€£ππ€£π€£π an happy this is how I took revenge
Boy be careful about girls wey like money ππ€π°π€
If u want marry good and kind, honest girl
Like comment and share this jokeπ€£π€£π€£
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Percy
π€£π€£ Jokes π€£π€£ Part 2After The Whole Incident I Dec...
~1.8 mins read
π€£π€£ jokes π€£π€£ part 2
After the whole incident I decided to take revenge , i located the girl and I borrowed my friend car π, clothes ππand money π€ and I went to her
Me : hi gorgeous π₯°
She : hello handsome
Me : ( happy she didn't recognize me)
So i ask her if I could take her home and she agreed and I took her home π
She : thanks for the ride , can I have your number
Me : of course and I gave her the number and I went home π excited
The next day
I was ready for my plans so i called he to come to my place and I gave her the wrong address and the place belongs to my friend
She : knock knock knock
My friend body gard open the door Mrs who are
She : common open the door for me Jor
The body gard : tell me who are u and who you came to meet
She forced herself inside and I watched through the window πͺ because I was there , it was my friend idea π‘ so the body gard pulled her back and beat her Black and Blue exactly how those men beat me before and I was excited so i jump out from the back and use a car to come to the house π and I saw her and laugh π then I pretend ( her name is Jennifer)
Me: Jennifer what happened to you
Jennifer : your useless body gard beat me up
Me : why did u beat her up like this
Body gard : she forced herself inside the house π
Me : that is why you beat her like this
Jennifer : sack him
Me: ok baby , u are fired back ur thing and leave , i winked π at him
The next day I took her to a restaurant and we order plenty food and we ate when the bill came out it was 150 000
Me : waiter where is the POS so i can withdraw money
Waiter : it's out side
Me : Jennifer wait for me am coming
Jennifer : ok babe π
Me : i walked out of there since then till today I nover come back as we may say now Jennifer is cleaning and washing plate there
This is how I took my revenge
Like and comment for more interesting comedy like this
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Percy
π€£π€£π€£Jokes πππ Part 1 One...
~1.3 mins read
π€£π€£π€£Jokes πππ part 1
One Saturday evening I was on my way going to the market when I spotted a group of men around a very beautiful girl , she was afraid and I decide to be the hero , so I went close to them and I said,
Me: mr man leave this girl alone
1man : who are you and if you don't want to be in trouble leave here
Me : which trouble ( I recognize one of them they were the robbers the police where looking for) and I said see if you touch me I go call the police
All men : ππ€£ππ€£π you call the police do u think we are afraid
Me : shivering π₯Ά the I said police police
The girl : she ran away
Me : u wanted to run but I was cought and I said girl call the police
Girl : na me send you con help me so help your self
The men: so u wan deceive us na
Me : abeg ( before I could continue I was interrupted by a slap πand I started crying and begging they beat me black and blueπ€π€ I go injured they ran away
The girl: finally they beat u finish
Me: so u come back help me go hospital
The girl : nonsense na me send you con fight for me comote for here hate
Me : crying ππ I managed and got home con see me and my head , all my body swell up and everybody dey look me like if I be zombie , so I decided to take revenge.
Everybody wetin I so bad to help someone na bad thing
For me to continue the story likeπ and commentsπ it
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News_Naija
10 Stories Across Nigerian Newspapers, Today, Thursday August 18th 2022.
~1.9 mins read
These top 10 stories across the nationβs newspapers might interest you.
1. Tinubu visits Obasanjo over presidential ambition
The Presidential candidate of the All Progressive Congress (APC) is currently meeting with former President Olusegun Obasanjo at the latterβs hill top residence inside the Olusegun Obasanjo Presidential Library(OOPL) Abeokuta, Ogun State.
2. APC dismisses report on planned removal of Abdullahi Adamu as chairman
The All Progressives Congress (APC) on Wednesday dismissed a report of ongoing plots to remove its National Chairman, Abdullahi Adamu.
3. 2023: Wike will work for PDP, Atiku, despite fraternity with APC members βEx-party spokesman, Ologbondiyan
The fracas within the opposition Peoples Democratic Party (PDP) has set the polity aflame with some analysts predicting an imminent loss for the party in the 2023 elections. But Kola Ologbondiyan, the former National Publicity Secretary of the party, has dispelled such notions.
4. PDP berates APC natβl chairman Adamu over comments on govtβs borrowings
The National Chairman of the All Progressives Congress (APC) Abdullahi Adamu, has come under fire from the Peoples Democratic Party (PDP) for claiming that the Federal Government may borrow βfrom here to eternity.β
5. APC accuses PDP of hiring saboteurs to tarnish image of its Bauchi guber candidate
Ahead of the general elections in 2023, the ruling All Progressives Congress (APC) has accused the opposition Peoples Democratic Party (PDP) of tarnishing the image of its governorship candidate in Bauchi State, former Chief of Air Staff, Air Marshal Abubakar Sadique (Rtd.).
6. Nigeriaβs capital market loses N9.8bn amid sell-off in Honeywell, Sky Aviation
The equity capitalization in the Nigerian capital market dropped to N26.80 billion at the close of trading on Wednesday.
7. Nigerian govt shares World Bankβs N471.9bn fiscal transparency grant to states
The Minister of Finance, Budget, and National Planning, Zainab Ahmed, said on Wednesday the Federal Government has released N471.9 billion out of the $1.5 billion approved by the World Bank for fiscal transparency, accountability, and sustainability (SFTAS) programme to the 36 states in the country.
8. Jigawa govt shuts schools abruptly as insecurity lingers
The Jigawa State Government has ordered the immediate closure of all public schools in the state amidst fears of banditsβ attacks.
9. Police foils gunmen attack, kills one in Ebonyi
Police operatives in Ebonyi on Wednesday killed one suspected criminal in Abakaliki, the state capital.
10. Billionaire Elon Musk jokes about buying Man Utd
Billionaire businessman, Elon Musk has made a joke about buying Premier League club, Manchester United.
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Percy
Job Interview. MP...
~1.0 mins read
Job Interview. MP
OFFICER:- What is your name?
Monday:- M.P. sir
OFFICER:- In full please
Monday:- Monday Peter
OFFICER:- Your father's name?
Monday:- M.P. sir
OFFICER:- What does that mean?
Monday:- Matthias Peter
OFFICER:- Your native place?
Monday : M.P. sir
OFFICER:- What's that?
Monday:- Mpumalanga Province
OFFICER:- What is your qualification?
Monday:- M.P.
OFFICER:- (angry) What is that?!!!
Monday:- Mathematics Professor
OFFICER:- So why do you need a job?
Monday:- It is because of M.P. sir
OFFICER: Meaning?
Monday:- Money Problems
OFFICER:- Would you explain yourself and stop wasting my time? What's your personality like?
Monday: MP sir.
OFFICER: And what is that?
Monday:- Marvelous Personality
OFFICER:- I see... I will get back to you.
Monday:- Sir, how was M.P. sir?
OFFICER:- And what's that again?
Monday:- My Performance.
OFFICER:- I think you have M.P.
Monday:- Meaning?
OFFICER:- Mental Problem!!!
Cutie π₯°, please add this profiles for more interesting jokes ππ Percy
God bless you abundantly π₯°π
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Percy
1. Instead Of Tagging Percy And 99 Others, Why Not Hold A Crusadeπ...
~1.4 mins read
1. Instead of tagging Percy and 99 others, why not hold a crusadeπ
2. Stop acting like you hate relationships we all know that the person you love doesn't love you backπ
3. My brother, hustle oh... There's a big difference between "Meet my husband" and "My husband is here".πππΆπΆ
4. Shout out to girls that use emojis to cover their arm pit in pictures instead of shaving.... You think you're doing me? You're doing yourself ooππππ
5. My Dad entered my room and saw me asleep. He held up my head, slapped me and said to me "Your last seen on WhatsApp was 5 seconds ago, stand up and go buy me bread"πβΉοΈβΉοΈβΉοΈ
6. If you like drop them in front of their house gateπππ You will still give them transport fareπ€£π€£π€£π€£ That's their Traditionππ...
7. You see those girls with big eyes eh they can screenshot ur whole destinyπππππ
8. Remember when u thought u will die if ur EX left u?....look at u now strong and ready for your next break upππ
9. Those clothes and shoes you are screenshoting nu..........when will you buy them?ππππππ
10. Lion is not the most dangerous creature on this earth.
Sampson killed lion and woman killed Sampson.
Be carefulπ€ππ
11. At the ATM today, a woman was trying to assist one slay queen to operate the machine and then saw that it was her husband's card
Come see wahala π€
I can't separate this fight mpo,I'm going homeπββοΈπββοΈπππππ
12. A man asks a trainer in the gym: I want 2 impress that beautiful girl, which machine can I use? Trainer replies: Use the ATM
π€£π€£π
13. Don't go without reacting ππ
Cutie π₯° , please just a little favor by adding this profiles for more interesting jokes and stories ππ Percy
God bless you abundantly π₯°π